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Declaration

God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference

In JESUS name,
AMEN

Thursday, August 13, 2009


there are so many things i wana say,
but i cant put them in words.

honestly,
i really feel broken.
with the stress from studies..
and losing out in frisbee
and my class ahem so sucky..
they are really so &^%$^% that i practically ignore them alrdy
unless i really have to talk to them or if they kaobei me or my friends
if they did kaobei me or my friends(infront of me), i'll make sure they pay for it..
i dont know how im gona do it, but i'll just make sure they regret being such a irresponsible jerk.
its not like i've never been a bitch before,
i did and i can say im extremely good at it..
conflicts?its my game..but when im in the mood to make someone suffer..
but yea....oh and!
my cat that had been missing for a week alrdy =(

sigh,
its like history repeated itself once again.
exactly like when i was in sec2,
2 weeks before my exam my cat went missing
and after that my exam
i found out she got hit by a car
and flower-pot the bloody idiot who did it to her didnt even own up.
like COME ON the whole estate knows that only my house owns 2cats
which we allow them to roam ard.
stupid stupid.roarss

and now, my cat is missing!(my other cat)
it was like so sudden.
the house is like so much quieter.
i cant stand it.
i miss her meows, her blur look and everything about her!
flower-pot. please tell me is is okay
i want her back.
i want her back now, more than anything else.
she is like a younger sister to me..
even though she is just a cat
but she's been with me for 5 years!

argh shit.
i cant take it.
its like i wana cry out loud, but i cant..
cause i dont know if she is still alive or dead
even if she is dead, i wana see her body
damn it. why?seriously..why

does life really have to work this way?
give and take
by giving her away, what do i get?
good grades?like what happened in sec 2?
giving me the choice, i rather have average grades rather den have good grades for her to come back home.

sigh, im feeling really really broken now.
my whole family act as though she doesnt exist at all
or maybe they are just hiding their emotions..
argh.wdv i dont care.
the feeling is just really horrible..
when you wana cry but you cant.
having to always pretend everything is okay, putting on a fake smile
be it at home or outside..
sigh.if she is dead.i'd rather to know the truth now rather den to wait so long for the news.
sigh wdv.
must not let this affect my studies.maybe i'll cry after my exams.
like have a emotional breakdown or something..
im bottling up too much stuff.



well....
at least,
i still got jethro =)
thanks baby.


im tired and yea wdv.
need to study for inmolb test tml.
lesson at 8am.
fuck.tml is a busy busy day

once again,every night its tears

12:42 AM