Declaration
God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference
In JESUS name,
AMEN
Saturday, July 26, 2008
went to do art in the morning.
came back at 12pm+ slpt for 45mins i guess
den did my math homework before allen came over
sigh, he got really disappointed in me cause my physics standard drop ALOT
in the past i'm able to compelete my the MCQ in 20min n get max 3wrong..
now i'm only able to just compelete the paper on time and get like 10-15wrong
SCREWWWW
damn damn sad =(
once again,every night its tears
7:48 PM
Friday, July 25, 2008
duno really know what to blog..
i'm feeling extremely frustrated over alot of things
and one of those is the chapel thing.
bloody hell the keys are like what?A?
crapness i cant reach that high.
hmm..than as usual, i'll always be feeling very stressed
cause i know i have to study
but i'm just not it cause I "LOVE" studying -.-"
shit man.
sigh, also, my feelings are freaking screwed up now.
i cant like anyone(even though i think i do)
because of Os,
because of the people around me,
because i simply just dont get back the same feeling i have for the opp party.
i guess i'm too ugly n my personality sucks like shit
cause even someone like XXX can get a bf like
not only one?but like she got afew ex bf?so yea..
i think i must be damn damn..yea
oh wells..
i duno why, but alot of ppl carry the impression that i'm a flirt..
like sure if i'm a flirt i would be having million's of BF now.
but now i've got NONE so..it proves i'm NOT cause
noone wants me =)
also majority of my friends are girls..
except for those in NA cause they are my BUDDIES
if playing rough with a guy is considered flirt
den i've got nothing to say.LOL
people and their own assumtions.
irritating assholes.
once again,every night its tears
8:33 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
shall blog before my tuition teacher comes X)
hmm, school was normal.
just that everyone has been talking about chapel next week..
its been a hot topic for us, i guess..cause we're doing it next week..
a round of appluase everyone! -.-"
i dont feel like singing(backup) cause my voice is dying,but than again,i feel guilty not helping.
cause i told myself that i will not do backup unless they need me to..
cause you can praise God anywhere n everywhere so i dont really see a need to
always be holding the mic unless there's no other backup..
also i dont other classes to look down on us.
(okay, i'm not praising myself indirectly or anything i'm just saying)
i mean yea i know they always have been since last year..
but yea just hope we(4c) are able to do it alright =)
but i just hope that we all achieve one common goal..
that is to worship the LORD! =))
oh wells, practice is tml at 4pm..
i guess i'll just go n see if they need my help, after all its my class n its for God.
if not, its fine =) shall just give moral support to barn,amber n jiaqi on the guitar! =DD
so yup anyway after school i came back home
(yes suprising w/o doing art)
ate n took a nap which was suppose to be only 1/2h..
(yea i know.. eat + sleep = fats.. i'll try to cut my diet into half =D )
but yea, i slpt from 3pm-6pm..so much for 1/2h power nap -.-"
oh yea amber said my bf criteria is erm too difficult to fit anyone..
haha, my dear girl, of course its difficult to find someone that fits my criteria
if not almost every guy would be my bf alrdy! ahah
anws they dont really have to fit all of them.
just those with stars are more important i guess.
oh wells..
Os level first! =D i can survive w/o having a bf cause i got friends! =DD
once again,every night its tears
6:58 PM
Monday, July 21, 2008
tuition just ended.
i almost died, ok correction.
I'M DEAD
i've no idea how am i gona last till Os is over.
during lifeskills mrs ly-ann asked us to do timetable..
and it only shows how pathetic my life is.
its like ART all the way?
den after art its always tuition..den study..
like freak!wheres the life =(
yea yea ok i know.life's after Os but..
who the hell can handle this shit man.
2hours of tuition and i'm alrdy left with 1% of energy.
sigh..
i know what can make me wana study..
the thought that when i get 6points,
i might stand a chance to get into a good school
which means there will be rich,smart n hot guys! =)
jkjk =P
oh yes talking about guys..
amber n i went to eat at NYDC for lunch
(smart decision ralene, you are left with 6bucks for the week!)
and we started talking about our bf criteria
and that we'll blog about so yes..
here goes nothing
(not in order)
- MUST BE CHRISTIAN!*****
- good-looking
(honestly speaking,average looking is good enough for me.good-looking, a bonus.)
- smarter than me
(duhh, like i want a dumb bf -.-" )
- understanding**
- gentleman**
- animal-lover**
- love me more than anything else(other den God)**
- caring
- funny
- faithful
- hot body X)
- romantic?? o.O
- plays either guit/bass or drums + sexy singing voice**
- height of about 173cm
(just a prefered height)
- play sports(best is frisbee!)
(obviously my bf got to be sporty enough to match me)
- knows his priorties
- responsible**
- have leadership qualities
- dont smoke
(no offence, but IMO smokers are ppl who obviously dont value their lives n want the ppl around them to die before them)
- not a gangster
( IMO,i think gangsters are ppl with immature thoughts trying to get attention through violence&vulgarities)
- rich dude
(which girl dont wana be pampered,tell me.its too bad i've got a bad habit of endulging myself in good + fattening food =x but than again, its just a bonus )
so yea.i guess thats about it?
i may have left out points i duno man.
its just yea,what comes to my mind ahah
once again,every night its tears
10:02 PM
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Last night's farewelll was awesome =)
really appreciate my junior's effort man the theme was repeated patterns but.. i was the only one who wore super plain?
like white top with yellow tube inside,jeans n heels.
lol, sorry but i dont have any cloths that fit the theme n i dont really fancy the style..so yupp
hmm..we gathered to the audi for devotions
den we had thanksgiving session.
whereby the sec2s show their appreciation to us(seniors)
than we got to play this auction game..
we have to bit(sp?) for the food(snacks) that we want so yea..
quite innovative =) had macs for dinner..LOL
hmm thats when we exchange gifts,took squad photos and just chill
..went back to audi for video.
the video is about our(senoirs) journey in GB
but apparently the pictures were from last year n this year only =( oh wells.. =) still makes me miss GB SHARING + HANDOVER!ok sharing part is kinda boring yes we all know tat..
but the handover part was kinda shocking for my juniors i guess..
oh wells.
*note: we were not the ones who make the final decision for the new exco..
Special Thanks to all my peers in GB =) esp those in exco
you've really brighten my life with all your craps n stuff..
and i'm sorry for the inconvience/troubles/problems i had caused you guys in the past.
once again, thanks for everything =DDD
LLOVESS
oh yes..
SQUAD 6, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! =DDDDDD
SQUAD SIX FOREVER!
SQUAD SIXX!(benedict is behind-.- not a ghost)
my darlinnggg! =)
Val and me! =)
Vice-chairs of GB(07/08/09)
choo,me n leong
chermaine n me!
me n ms reena!LOVES!
Vice-chair n Chair of GB 07/09
ME N XINGYAYAAA
me n benedicttt(most unglam photo man -.-)
me n joshuaa
once again,every night its tears
7:58 PM
Monday, July 14, 2008
I'm SUPER DUPER tired =(
someone save me please...
tml is Os Chinese Listening =(
ROARRRRRR =((
as much as i want to say the f word..
i shall not.
ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
once again,every night its tears
9:55 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
watched hell boy 2
with russel,riaz,faihan,jon,mel n cheryl
the show is erm not as nice as the 1st one..
thats for sure.
met carlos aft the movie went to buy a pair of slipper
cause i dont have a pair for going out..
went to wcp.
the sun is super duper hot =(
which is damn irritating plus theres alot of people..
(refering to: alot of ppl who came for frisbee today)
so yes. played quite well for the 1st game..
didnt play the 2nd game cause we are sub-ing(as in take turns to play)
den i played the 3rd game
which i played horribly =(
i'm so sorry to all..sigh
my last time playing n it just have to be like this.oh wells..
oh yes.i freaking need to get a new pair of boots
cause i think my boots now are too small
i cant run properly, i've got alot of blisters and i got another ingrown toenail.
irritating =( but i guess i'll get mine after prelims or Os
i super super hate getting injured.
i think i sprain my back muscle again =(
IRRITATING!
ok i'm feeling freaking..erm frustrated?
aiya..dont know to express it..but yea..
so many stuff tat pissts me off
what more tml is GB day n i have to wear boots
that means my toe is gona dieee!
i shall ask for permission to change out n wear slippers tml.
ROARRRR!
i really really feeling like screaming my lungs out =(
once again,every night its tears
9:39 PM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
please tell me i'm not feeling jealous =(
its not like i want to be jealous..
=((
once again,every night its tears
7:23 PM
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,
you can say to this moutain,
" mover from here to there "
and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you
- matt 17:20
thanks joel(not ex14 -.-") for the encouraging verse.
i guess i'm abit more motivated,
all i need is the discipline that i've lost and the perservence.
God, will you come into my life once again and stay in my heart forever?
Grant me the ability to let go of the past like how i did 3years back.
and of course, to the discipline,motivation and perservence to study for Os..
in DADDY'S BIGBIG NAME,
AMEN! =)
once again,every night its tears
3:26 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
great, now i'm stuck between JC n poly
i dont know where i should go.
sigh, i really dont know whats my purpose in life.
i mean, all i know is that i screw up people's life..
(not like i want to)
and i just keep messing up mine too.
someone just get me out of this shit.
knock me down with a car/lorry/truck wdv..
or just push me down a building.
if only life was more exciting =(
and if only i didnt change the way i feel about Fairfield.
i would prolly still have abit of passion in studying
once again,every night its tears
9:43 PM
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
today's weather was so nice
if i were to stay at home n sleepp
but yea, have to go to school
cause of Os =(
after chem practical,
left school to visit the doctor..
she said i got some allergy n rashs
super irritating cause its damn itchy n i cant take it
why isit that among my family i'm ALWAYS the one that got problem.
sucks like shit man.
my sisters got everything..the looks n talents
but me, what do i have man.
if my Os result is more den 12points i can just practically go n kill myself
cause i dont have the looks n the brains =(
so yes, back to what i did today..
went to dover with amber aft school
ate mee sotong,bought green tea mooncake and camarel(Sp?) chips
i almost died eating them while doing art when we came back from dover
sigh...
can someone just freaking kill me.
i've lost my motivation to study..
my passion to study so i can get into a school with a good frisbee team is GONE
so what now?
i dont know what i wana be in the future so theres no motivation either..
all i lack is just the bloody thing called
MOTIVATION
=( wheres the motivation when i need it.
i wana believe that i can complete this last lap
without you by myside.even though,
it was you who gave me the motivation to study hard
and be promoted to express.
its just something so special about you that i cant forget.
its been a long time since i lost you,
and my motivation to do my best in everything that i do..
fades with every second.
this may sound so mushy n stuff.
but i do swear, these words that carry the meaning of how important you are to me
are real.
still, i want to believe i can complete this final lap without you
even though my heart says its impossible...
they say you're my bad luck charm,
but i beg a differ.
they just dont understand how much you mean to me.
when another he came along,
i thought he could be the one that will be able to mend my broken heart.
he restored my motivation and my passion to live life to the fullest..
but all these were just lies,
when he just left without a word.
now i really wish,
i'm able to complete this final lap without either one of you, or anyone,
cause its this race that will determine the route i'll take for the rest of my life.
*note to the readers.
keep your comments to yourself, if you want to gossip or say anything just shut up.
you dont know how it feels like to be in my shoe.
even though you might say, " i've been through this before "
yea sure, the situation might be the same but the impact is definately different.
so just keep your comments to yourself before you rip apart someone's life with a sentence.
to those bitches n basturds who live their lifes like shit,
i'm definately not being dramatic neither am i seeking attention nor compassion from anyone
i just want to let out what was trapped.
once again,every night its tears
7:38 PM
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
school was as normal..
only thing it felt kind werid cause only sec4/5s came to sch..
cause the rest of the levels are have e-learning..
so unfair i also want to have e-learning =(
can wake up late n hand in homework by using internet
whats more the homework given online is usually easier..sigh
after school went for lunch with..
amber,dorcas chermaine n bolin at SP
when i walked pass the field i saw 2guys playing frisbee
i was super super tempted to ask if i could toss with them
but i decided not to..cause i dont wana embarass myself..
their throws are pretty accurate n i dont think i'm better den them so yea..
i'm a cutter not a handler =)
(yes, i know its not a gd excuse to why my throws are horrible but den again..
gimme time to improve cause i dont have talent in it =/ )
went back to school to do art den came home for tuition
damn tired man.
i seriously dont know how long i can keep this up.
sigh.Os faster be over pleaseeee
once again,every night its tears
10:34 PM
Sunday, July 06, 2008
studied 1chpt of chem
pathetic i know.
went to celebrate carlos's bday at vivo
i spend almost my whole week's allowance on food today
(its just one of those days when i just keep stuffing myself with food cause i'm feeling extremely miserable)
so i'm left with $7 for the week -.-
went back home changed n went for frisbee
i swear today's frisbee was extremely retarded.
4.30-7.40pm non-stop
n its so freaking packed with ppl man.
oh wells.it still rocks! =)
thanks joel for giving me a lift home =D
once again,every night its tears
11:17 PM
Saturday, July 05, 2008
FUNFAIR,
SUCKS!
other than the fact that i can catch up with my old friends..
everything esle sucks like shit man.
firstly in the morning,
i got blames again for something that i didnt do.
like sure thanks what a freaking reasonable teacher you are man.
next,
i have to stay n cook like almost the whole time.
wtf its a funfair
which part of FUNfair does not have a fun in it?
(not like i do this all by myself, got ppl help also luh just tat its freaking dumb)
lastly,
the games are damn boring -.-"
after all that went to vivo with ivan n carlos
chit-chatted, had dinner..
sian.dtill thinking if i shld go fris tml.sigh
i swear if i wasnt a christian
i would curse her a horrific death.
for being such a unreasonable,bias n stupid arsehole
once again,every night its tears
10:48 PM
