Declaration
God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference
In JESUS name,
AMEN
Friday, September 28, 2007
boring day..
felt super tired mayb cause its a rainy day..
today in FC they talked abt exams
and it made me feel very very uncomfortable
cause i'm kinda worried and scared.
but when i thought over the fact that its just a exam.
i relaxed.haha.werid uh.
aft skl rushed my art.i'm so happy i'll b able to complete it by tml.
just paint a few things and sew my cloth on e board and i'm done.hopefully i can post a pict of my artwork online =)
aft art i went to dnt workshop wid keef to cut my wood for art.
ya i know its still for art but i'm doin dnt.
soon aft, junn and thier clique of guys came into e dnt workshop
workshop closed at 4pm+
den keef sent me to tuition.by e time it was 5plus?
oh man..only did afew qns during tuition.
exams starts on sat!oral exam tat is..
i'm freaking to freak out.i cant pronounce words properly..
esp chinese.oh mannn..
once again,every night its tears
11:10 AM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
i'm still sad over dodo's death =(
and that i'm gona die for EOY.
sian.duno why these few days i feel so tired
and i cant study properly.sighhh..
things got really screwed this aftnoon.
my wood for art was in noel's plastic bag and noone was doing dnt or art.
i went to cut my hair straight aft skl.
but i got really pissted cause by e time e lady cut my hair was 3plus
and also tats e time when i found out noone was doing dnt.
noel said tat i cld go 2 e dnt workshop to get my wood but like..
if e workshop no open den how.
somemore today is e only day i can do my art work plus cutting of wood
cause tml i've got tuition and on friday i've got to hand it in.
sigh life sucks luh.now i'm feeling e freaking stress..
and i hate it =( it making me short-tempered, easily irritated and unreasonable.
i dun like!stupid stress go away!!
once again,every night its tears
10:07 AM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Happy monthversary!
everything was as usual.
only thing in e morning my idiotic eldest sis decided not 2 send me 2 skl in e morning
and asked me to take taxi and scolded me instead. -.-
like wth 6.30 and u wan me to take taxi.can stay at home dun come skl alrdy luh.
somemore my hse here so difficult to take taxi..
idiot.luckily, my 2nd sister is willing to send me to skl.
hehe.i love her man.better den my eldest sis.of cuz.
den yea lor.aft skl went to cut wood for my art.
den i totally forgotten abt meeting mr liew and i just went home.
AHHHH i feel soooooo bad =(
when i came home tat time my maid told me tat dodo died.
i was so freaking sad...
ok still is now..why do things like this always happen near exams?
last yr i lost my cat 1wk b4 exam.
now is my bird..wth is going on man.
sigh...did my art...
ok currently still doing...
gona complete soon
oh well gtg study aft tat..
once again,every night its tears
12:16 PM
Monday, September 24, 2007
went to study in e morning.
joel gave me a super tough mathpaper.
i can only do like 2questions out of 15i think
den i was like super demoralied(sp?) =(
then went for service.
i just like daze and joel kept asking me "u ok?dun feel demoralised ok?"
lol.i duno what i'm gona get for my EOY at this rate man.
anw wad was shared today was kinda interesting.
that we are all God's missionaries.
and we have to train ourselves to do wad we dun like
and do wad God wants us to do.
aft service
went to have a birthday lunch with
joel,ivan,matthew,esther,caleb
and the birthday girl..
YELIN!
haha.happy birthday =)
we ate at thai express and it was really fun.
all e lame jokes and everything ahaha.
den erm.mattthew drove all of us back since its on e way.
and yea.came back.went straight to e bed.
somehow i was super tired.
my art board is 80% done and i'm super happy
but i'm gona start mugging soon.
math TYS here i come.
i'm gona try finish at least 1/4 of e book tonight
and study finish ss
and and..hmmm
try to read up on physics?
hehe.many things to do, yet so little time.
sounds familiar?hehe.
oh yea.i'm decided NOT to give up.
not wanting to drop back to NA
BUT
to excel and get 1st in my class overall and at least sci,math and art.
even though i'm in e lousiest class in exp
and everyone in my class seems to accept tat they are lousy.
BUT i dont.
i deny tat i'm lousy
i deny tat i'm lazy
i deny tat i'm stupid
and i'm gona prove it.
once again,every night its tears
9:04 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
boring lessons.
i think i shld really go back to NA?
i cant clique wid e ppl in my class.
or am i the only one tat cant fit in?
begining of e yr me n her were close friends but now we aint much of gd friends.
so is e same for majority of e girls in e class.
being 11 girls only?i think
when i 1st came to 3C i knew i was gona change.
to fit in e class.slack n just talk in class..
but now as exams are nearer,
i found myself back and cld no longer stand it.
as i predicted last yr,
it really happen.mayb i shld b more aware of it..
my attitude doesnt fit in e class.
my character dun either.
ppl dislikes me.i know, bloody hypocrites.
i know who hates me n who doesnt.
i know who gossiped abt me n who didnt.
i know who backstabbed me n who didnt.
but wad can i do?nothing.
and i dun wana waste my time either.
Luke 6:27-36
John 15:5
Joshua 1:9
Isaiah 40:31
so now i dun really have any friends,
i'm refering to true friends.
all my good friends are in NA.
i'm really afraid to make friends in exp.
i'm really really scared.
is anyone going through the same thing as me?
the lonliness?
the sadness?
the fear?
the hate?
the unfairness?
the hardship?
i'm not gona do anything but i'm really hurted
i'm really broken inside.
when i flip my bible just now to read e verses i highlighted,
to type out and reflect,
there is a folded page.a dogear.
i flip open the dog ear.
its from isaiah, a chpt of e bible i hvnt read yet.and it states
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
You shall cry, and He will say "Here i am"
Isaiah 58:1
aft i read this verse i brokedown and cried.
i realised i'm hiding too much things.
i'm running away from problems.
i thought i was alrite but i never was.
all these year.these 9years.
now i know i've suffered alot.
even though i thought i let it go alrdy.
but it still dangles in my heart.
i'm mostly always alone.
my true friends are always seperated frm me.
what i wished to come true never did.
- to have happy true friends tat will go thru thick n thin wid me.
- to celebrate my bday wid my friends.
- not to have broken relationships.
i guess all these are part of life.
ppl are out there to break your heart n make you cry.
but its okay. i have God.
once again,every night its tears
12:08 PM
Friday, September 21, 2007
woah today is a super hot day..
tio scolded during lit. sian =.="
during fc, the policeman came n gif a talk again.
its like the 4th or 3rd time i've heard him this year?
boring man..when will they stop calling him to come back?
aft skl went to eat lunch wid keef den went to buy newpaper for mr tan.
keef send me to tuition,
i thought it was still 2plus cause my watch has been set to 24hour timing..
den we sat at e staircase, was reading e newspaper
and talking abt our relationship..
den i got shocked when i saw fern walking up e stairs.
i hope she doesnt get e wrong idea of me n keef...
n guess wad e time is 4.30!
which is 1630hours.which i thought was 3.30pm
hehe.but yea.went up for tuition.
mr tan bought soccer boots!they are so sexy.
i'm tempted to buy one for myself for frisbee.hehe..
but yea..money..
got to start saving haha.
oh well got many homework to rush.cya!
once again,every night its tears
11:20 AM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
i'm scare,
i'm not prepared.
the fear inside me is just so strong that i want to breakdown and cry.
wheres a shoulder when i need one?
wheres the person who wld stand by me?
this relationship, is not progressing..
i can only depend on God now.
everytime i think e number of days i've left,
my hands get weak, i want to breakdown and cry.
once again,every night its tears
1:15 PM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
sigh the green man hanging on my hp keeps falling out
even though i've tired many times to tie it back to my phone =(
i guess its a hint for me to forget you totally n tat we are never meant to be..
when we bought e hpchain together,
you lost e chain in a few weeks, i knew we were gona be seperated.
and now we are seperated, i guess its no use keep the things u gave me last time..
or are they running away from me for the better?
anw i'm willing to put aside the past for my darling now.
darling, i just want you to know i love you.
once again,every night its tears
11:19 AM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
was so lazy to wake up to do my work in morning.
had a nightmare =(
i dreamt tat i was doing math paper..
i know how to do most of the qns in e paper..
but i was left 5min to finish last 2qns which was a graphqn and trigo.
den i panicked.haha.n i woke up.some kind of dream uh.
anw.went to study wid joel.
he gave me 2002 sec 3 express EOY math paper 1.
i did most of e questions.leaving some blank of cuz.
aft studying went for service.
service really speaks 2 me today cause i wanted to prove shengwei wrong on friday tat by saying the sinner's prayer, it wont bring you to heaven.
you cld say the sinners prayer and still do things tat upsets Him.
most of the prove is in john15
i think many ppl in the world believe tat when u say e sinner's pray you are grantieed to go to heaven.but it is wrong!
i wana share this on friday. i hope i get e chance to...
oh well.tml still got skl.so i think i better go offline.
oh yea.please watch this video and you'll understand what i'm talking abt.
enjoy =)
once again,every night its tears
11:21 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
wee!got good news.
i came in 1st in my class for overall =)
but i only got 59.2%
pathetic!sigh..
now i'm aiming for EOY
to be in top 3!
aiming to be...
top in combine sci, combine humans,math and art.
at least top 5 in the rest of e subjects.
oh well.havnt blogged 4 afew days but yea.
i've got a new member in my family!
a baby piegon!haha.werid but yea.its super cute.
my sis found it injured n brought it home.
so now we are nursing it back to good condition =)
its name is dodo and its a super gultton(sp?)
its super cute cause it follows me whereeva i go n its actions are just so adorable.haha
oh well exams are coming n i hvnt been mugging seriously!sigh.
shall go mug now!
once again,every night its tears
12:16 PM
Thursday, September 06, 2007
met keef at harbour fornt mrt, as usual.i'm late.ahah.SORRY!
den yea.went for mr lin's farewell lunch.
very little ppl go only lor.so sad.
Bolin(sp?)e organiser came,so did amber,jo n michelle
and of cuz e special guest.
ate at swensens.we waited 2hours for e food luh!
stupid.last time i'm eating at swensens.not hungry become hungry.tsktsk.lousy service.
anw yea.aft tat went to wcp wid keef 2 meet up kiat.
cause he is suppose 2 teach me math.
apprently.i cant freaking study at macs.
some kindergarden kids running abt nn making hell lot of noise.
so we decide to go walk ard n play wid sand.
soon aft which, kiat went home den me n keef went to 2 marsh garden.
which is a swamp.ahha
its so cool lor.
got sea otter i think.we saw something like it.
den got many many fishys,turtles n duck.
n also.we discovered something.
ducks dun "quack"s they make some kind of sound instead.damn funny.
n denn..keef gave me a necklace.so sweet =)
so yup.like tat den i come home n started on my homework.sigh.
it never seems to end.
sigh,now i feel so distant frm my friends(girls in my class)
oh man.
loves,him n my shades =)
necklace =)
once again,every night its tears
1:03 PM
Monday, September 03, 2007
went to have tuition wid joel.
apparently he was late again.ahhaa
sigh.he said tat i cld hv gotten full marks 4 my lastest math test if i was more careful.
it was just all careless mistakes.argh.
feel like smacking myself.sigh.
aft tat went for service.
den erm..yea went to eat lunch wid ivan,sam n caleb.
and at e same time met up wid keef to teach him lit.
at wcp macs.haha
so yea.den it started to rain so they all went to 79 while i continue to teach keef.
aft which,we both went to 79 also.haha.
5min aft we reached 79.
they were going back to wcp again -.-"
cause it was sunny.haha.den keef went to vivo.
me,ivan n tracy i think we took a ride from vicent to wcp.
so ps.haha.cause i dun really know vincent.oh well.
frisbee was fun.only thing my finger got blueblack n
i fell n slide across e field. -.-" but i'm fine.
sigh.exams are coming.like 4weeks time.
2nd oct start.sigh.stressed man.
i'm super scare i retain in sec 3.
i got like 28points for my L1R5.sigh..this is damn bad.
weekdays i'm studying n sunday is e only day i can relax.haha.
oh yea.i'm grounded untill exams are over.so yea.
please dun ask me out.
i'll feel damn yea..sigh exams. I DUN LIKE U!
oh well shall end here.bye ppl!
once again,every night its tears
12:44 PM
