Declaration
God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference
In JESUS name,
AMEN
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
slpt at 1am last night,
and i finally completed my geog homework.
woke up in the morning,
feeling like a dead and motionless zombie.
i really felt like skipping school,
but since it is going to be my last chapel and pe lesson in fairfield,
and i have to bring the brownies and cookies for the "celebration"
i might as well just hack i with the dreadful atittude
and just go to school.
everything was as normal(no big who-ha during assembly).
only thing charmaine,dorcas and amber were kinda emotional during chapel.
which made me felt left out and
made me wonder either i'm too hard-hearted or they are just soft-hearted.
we were given a purple booklet after the chapel service.
its about some sec4 special stuff.
the booklet got some special message from our teachers.
the principle and VP chased the sec2s out of the hall.
haha losers.(piriorty to sec4s)
VP sang a song blahblahblah..
head down for pe.
was alittle hyped(dont even know if theres such a word,but who cares.my blog, my post)up for pe.
played frisbee with the 2F people.
they are ok.mostly the star player is the one bringing sucess to their team.
they are very cocky too.
thinking that they kept scoring means they are better den us.
i swear man, i hate these kinda of people.
the skills are not really there and theres no teamwork.
what more they do play rough.
they just barely pass the standard.
when it comes to playing in a super small field.
other den that, if they were playing in a bigger field,
they'll lost big time
(because they ALWAYS croward around the person and can only do short passes.
tip for those that are up agaisnt them for interclass.)
i didnt really play at my best standards, somehow i didnt feel like it.
(i'm not self-praising myself, but seriously man.i played super lax)
maybe i subconsciously know that its definately not worth,
playing all out and getting injured.
cause ultimately, they'll just start cursing n swearing.
that i played rough and all those crap.
i swear they are the weridest bunch of people i've ever met.
like ever since dorcas n chermaine join the game,
girls(sec 2F) starts throwing temper.
" this is making mad!", "i'm really really mad!"
like what man.
no sportsmanship than dont play.
dont spoil it.
oh you know whats the best part?
the fucking bitches(not refering to all, i'm not unreasonable)from 2F accuse me of stealing their friends disc.
(i found e disc 1week back but fail to return it to him because i pon school,
so knowing that they know each other, i PURPOSELY brought it to school and pass it to them.
*note.I was freaking carrying alot of things(brownies and cookies)when i arrive in school. I can just simply leave it at home and keep it for myself, since it was a ok quality disc.idiots.)
omgosh man.
do they actually think i'm THAT poor, THAT stupid and THAT pathetic?
to the bitches:
in case you dont know,
i'm rich enough to buy many more NEW and BETTER quality discs.
you'd think i would actually STEAL a pathetic disc?
you got to be joking.
grow up arseholes, and please use your brains.
if i'd really steal it, do you even think i'll bring it to school
and PURPOSELY bring it to the field and tell chris that i found his friend's disc?
obviously not right.dumb shits.
come on, work on your tiny little pea brains.
and you are definately pathetic.
shall i tell you something?
you are made up of,
0.01% of brains
( not refering to human brains but to the most stupid creature on earth. oh wait, only they got such brains. even pigs are better off. )
9.99% of useless material, stupidity, ugliness and a fucked up character.
oh, ouch.
the truth hurts huh. oh wells, its the REALITY. so get used to it.
you know, i would actually say more stuff to you if i'd the chance to "talk" to you face to face.
its just so disheartening that i wont get the opportunity.
or maybe i'll just be nice and spare you the agony. =)
young kids these days,
have wild imaginations.
oh wells, back to what happened to day.
during chinese lesson, i kept thinking of ways to make them suffer.
i told amber one of my ideas,
and i think she was taken back by it.
she kept saying i was damn bad and i shouldnt do it.
but i swear it was so tempting.
monsters like them have to be taught a lesson...
had art "celebration" during recess.
well at least my brownies n cookies were appreciated.
my efforts have not gone down the drain.
after school, went to queensway with
barn,jiaqi,sarah,shervin n jon
to get the class shirt done.
*note to all, bring 20bucks on thurs for class shirt.
came back to school and painted the design.
seriously why should i waste my time when i can spend the time i'd used to study?
simple reason,
people are selffish enough to only bother abt themselves
and somehow just want a class shirt to magically appear from thin air.
whatever it is,
i've done my part.
i'm not gona do anything else.
i dont wan unnessary trouble.
i had to use expletives.
the feeling was overwhelming.
(with everything happening, this thing just made it worse.)
dont blame me =)
better words than actions.
once again,every night its tears
10:05 PM
Monday, September 29, 2008
just finish baking..
19 big cookie(minus 1, ate 1 for testing)
and
erm some brownie.
think i bake too little brownie.
in case u dont know,
the way i bake stuff dont usually lood good,
but taste fantastic.
but this time i made some error in measuring the stuff..so yea
just enjoy it
oh wells...
i hate to say this,
but i really really hate my eldest sister.
omgosh man, she is like the most unreasonable person i'd ever met.
ok other den the idiot who kept accusing me.
sigh..she says i'm what, stupid?
and i've got no guts to say what i wana say, and keep grumbling.
firstly,
i'm freaking not stupid.
you are the most stupid person in my family can.
pfft, stupid...
i'll show you i'm not stupid.
i'll get my As.
i'll make sure u'll shut ur freaking mouth up when u see my results.
i'll go JC and not go private like you!
stupid idiot.
i'm definately gona prove you wrong.
like when u said i couldnt sing and all i'm making is just noise.
when u said i couldnt draw or paint and all i'm doing is just rubbish.
i'm gona make sure you'll take back your words, and give me some respect as ur little sister.
doesnt mean you are the eldest means you are the best,smartest,prettiest.
i just wish you'll get married soon and freaking move out!
so i can have some peace at home and do whatever i want.
all you ever do is eat,sleep,game and complain.
fancy you calling me soft,
when you are a freaking tofu that cant even handle anything harsh.
why the hell do i even have a sister like you,
that is so selffish.
i really do envy those girls who have loving and caring sisters.
not like mine.
selffish,irresponisble and unreasonable.
secondly,
i'm smart enough and have more den enough guts to not argue with you over stupid stuff.
what for spoil our family relationship over a stupid matter.
and i didnt grumble.I DID NOT GRUMBLE.
if you werent my sister, i would have slap your freaking face long time ago.
behaving like a childish idiot.
repeating whatever i say.
you are such an arsehole.
keep saying i've got no manners.
how abt you?
keep arguing with daddy and mummy.
whe they try to talk some sense into you..
what did you do?
take out your freaking PSP turn up the volume and play your game.
ignoring whatever they say.
to think that daddy loves you the most.
i wonder what he sees in you.
you dont even show him any respect.
other den the times when you need money or buy something.
mummy always say your IQ is always the highest among us,
the three sisters.
but i beg a differ...
the way you behave, the words that comes out from your foul mouth
and the way you think about everything.
it is just contridicts to what mummy says
you always think that the world evolves around you.
you cant even differentiate whether i'm being sacastic or not.
or mayb its due to generation gap,
but still mummy knows whether i'm sacastic or not luh.
argh.
i hate you.
once again,every night its tears
8:06 PM
Sunday, September 28, 2008
boring day.
just had dinner with my cousins.
today they had some event at the club.
so we have less den 5dishes to order from.
pathetic.
lousy dinner.even maggie noddles can own it.
i slpt all the way till 12pm today.
i feel like a pig. seldom do i sleep past 10am.
so yes, watched disney channel.
they showed the movies cars, nice show.i guess.
had tuition from 2.10-4.40pm.
sigh.
stupid megavideo.
stop me from watching naruto =(
wait for 113mins? wth
irritating man.
thinking of not going to school tml..
but i dont wana miss lit lesson
and i need to take my geog book homework to finish the homework ms wong gave.
sigh.
once again,every night its tears
5:56 PM
Friday, September 26, 2008
today is the day,
when all art students are to send their art piece to the examination area..
i skipped the lessons before recess,
simple reason, my mum wants me to sleep in
because of the fantasic rainy weather -.-"
had macs and mos burger for breakfast
(you might be wondering why i list out 2 different fast food resturant,
its because i ate a filet-o-fish den a mos cheeseburger.suprised?
dont be.)
bought macs for amber..
sorry dorcas n chermaine, didnt have enough money at that time =/
reached school just in time for amber to have the macs for recess..
went for lit class,
thanks godness art was the 1st lesson and it rained.
otherwise i'll have to explain why i'm only in school for the 2nd half of the day.
thank goodness i dont have to lie =)
..blahblahblah..school was okay.
only thing i kinda got demoralised when i got back my geog test results..
9/25
sure to get A1 for Os man -.-"
who am i kidding.no JCs for me now.sigh.
anws!
after school, everyone took their board and prep work down to the lorry and bus.
i got some trouble with mine because its super fragile,
dont wan any last min shit happening...
so yes, sent the board there and, boy, they really took care of our art pieces extremely well.
you'll be and idiot if you believe me..so yea aft that we came back.
didnt stay in school today to study,
i guess its lazy that made me wana go home.
and i had noone to study with, so..
home is the best place =)
thats the end of my day.
just to change topic,
its no longer about how my day went.
i've been thinking how my life has been like..
for the 1st two years in secondary school,
to be honest, i know that i'm a bitch.
and i was definately sure, i'm always happy to screw up someone's life.
in case if you hadnt been mean before,
the feeling is super awesome.better than taking drugs..
not that i've taken it before..its just a saying.
and when i screw someones life,
the people dont blame me for anything..
when i reached the end of sec 2,
i realised i was damn damn evil and just pure bad.
because i had retribution, i lost two most impt thing in my life
(well i cant really say thing, cause its a cat and a human..)
they were both my bestfriend.
as for my cat, she had been ever since i was in pri 2,
untill she got into an accident before my sec 2 EOY exams..
and for my friend(the human one)
i guess, we are not meant to even be aquintance(sp?)
so yea, that made me want to change for the better..
sec 3 life was difficult. it may sound crazy,
but at times i was so tempted to make sure the person i dislike have a hard time of her life.
and yes, bad habits are hard to break..
like i said, i was tempted.
but i didnt do anything bad...
and now, sec 4.
the bad habits are definately gone.
but its just werid how life works..
i get blamed for everything i do, even if i do it with outmost good intentions.
sometimes i really do wonder,
will it be better if i change back to being a bitch or i shld just be good..
cause people had accused me of the stupidest stuff ever..
like i'm out to steal someones position, made someone cry, break up the harmony in the class..
like what man?get a life people.
steal someone's position?
ha-ha real funny, you people have the outmost creative imagination i've ever came across.yea right.i think you need to cut down on TV dramas, i've got way much better things to do than to play with you puerile behaviour..
making someone cry?
i'd be most happy if i were still a bitch, sad for you, i'm not anymore.
break up harmony in the class?
you gotta be joking, in case you didnt realise. oh wait i bet you didnt.
i've always wanted our class to be united.
shall i emphasize on the word ALWAYS.
i ALWAYS hope for a united class when i reached sec 4, but i guess its not about to come true anyway.
( and yes i've not forgotten every single shit.because i hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE being accused.
and even though i clearly have a memory span of only 1week..cause i cant rmb what i did before that week..these are the type of things that i'll rmb for life.dont ask me why, its just how my brain works.)
back to me,
i realised something..
when i changed, i felt that i've lost a part of myself.
i'm not refering to the evil part of me..
but to the strong me.
i've lost my strong sense of determination,perserverance and
the ability to be able at look things positively.
even my friend could tell the difference in me.
i've been trying to get them back but..
it feels like all i'm doing is just facing a wall, with no path.
i've lost my sense of purpose in life..
espacially when my dreams just keep falling away from my grip one by one
like a domino...
(not bad eh?good descriptive? X/ )
whats next after Os?
the world coming to an end?
sigh..
once again,every night its tears
10:04 PM
Monday, September 22, 2008
the day was normal.
thank you clifford for the sandwich. =)
appreciate it.
got back my report book today.
and here is my results..
chinese: B4
emath: B4
phy/chem: B4
ss/geog: F9
lit: B3
art: A2
CCA: A1
L1R4: 15
L1R5: 22
well, i can say i made improvements.
from midyears
when my
L1R4: 27
L1R5: 33
but its because i didnt study..
oh wells..
my aim, to improve most on my subjects my 2grades
and 6grades up for my ss/geog..
studied with
riaz,russell,eric n desmond after school today.
oh wells..
for tml,
i really hope i get to play frisbee match again =)
and i'll be tutoring eugene after school..
i really hope i can explain things clearly to him =/
once again,every night its tears
9:11 PM
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Yes, i know.
the playlist is TOO big.
but yea, who cares..it still can play songs =)
and YES
its sentimental.
you'll be surprised at range of musics i listen to..
except for metal.the extremely nonsense noise.
once again,every night its tears
7:10 PM
read the book i borrow from amber(twilight) till 2am ytd.
finished the book.
the way the author writes the story is not very good, compared to James Patterson..
but who cares, as long as i catch the story.
its about vampires and this ordinary loser(IMO) girl
got together with a handsome vampire...
and the story goes on.
i realised after i read this book,
i feel really depressed.
i duno why but it reminded me of the past.
which is sickening.
so i shall only carry on reading the second book(which i have to borrow from amber)after Os..
had tuition in afternoon,
almost fell asleep -.-"
B4 for science, it wasnt enough.
its definately not enough...
oh wells, was super tempted to go WCP and play frisbee again..
the weather was good and i'm starting to feel the fatty.
oh wells, i just have to hope pe i can play frisbee again =D
thats one thing i look forward to this week =)
and i definately need motivation to study man..
sigh, can i even make it to a poly?
24points..impossible.
life's so difficult.
and people like my sister keeps stealing my chocolate
(ok out of point..i know.)
sigh, i dont what is wrong with me, but now i totally loathe the subject i used to be good at..
which is chemistry and really love physics and math..
something is seriously wrong with me man.
back to studying i guess =/
after so long,
your voice still lingering in my head.
once again,every night its tears
6:19 PM
Thursday, September 18, 2008
this is my completed art piece =Di'm so happy i'm finally done with it.
now the problem is, theres art tml and i'm considering to pon school
because i really need my sleep. =(
been sleeping really late these few weeks because of art..oh wells..
to pon school or not to pon school?
sigh, lately i've been feeling very heavy hearted..
dont know why either..
once again,every night its tears
10:14 PM
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
this guy, is serious hot X)got it from a mail that my mum sent to me.
stayed back for art AGAIN,
was doing my prep work.
i'm close to finishing it and
i'll finish it tonight...
i plan to finish my prep work, do my chem TYS,study geog and abit of lit?
oh wells, as much as i want to grumble about how freaking tired i am..
i still got to do my work. =(
so yup,
jia you people! =)
once again,every night its tears
8:11 PM
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
YAY i'm done with my board =)
now i'm left with prep work.
which is almost completed too =D
i just got to add AFEW more sketchs, change arrangement and think of artist statement.
and TADA.its OVER! =D
i dont need to stay back for art EVERY SINGLE DAY
and yea, i can study other subjects =DD
i just counted the number of days left till my 1st paper,
and its 29days!
omgosh omgosh.
i can almost taste freedom,
but it brings along a bag of stress =(
oh wells..
for everything, theres a price to pay..
i'm extremely tired.
had mac griddles inthe morning,
thanks amber =D
everything went as normal.only thing theres a miricle!
we played frisbee match against the sec 2, imagine that man! =D
amber,dorcas,chermain,cheryl,jo and myself formed a team
against a group of 7 people.
they played well..
only thing most of the ppl dont run and their throws are not really good.
so yup.pe was fantastic! =D
everything else was as normal..
after school, went to find mr ho to help me with carlos's prelim paper.
its freaking tough, no wonder he says he failed it badly..
den went to find ms thio with dorcas n chermaine.
(thanks jacob for helping me buy food =) )
studied abit den went back to do my art.
and after art, went to 79 and study awhile with ivan and caleb.
gosh, i need to have some spare battery to keep me going to mug man.
God, i pray that i'll get a L1R5 score not higher den 8points.
keep everyone safe,healthy and energetic..
amen =D
once again,every night its tears
10:40 PM
Monday, September 15, 2008
i'm almost done with my art..
but something happened again.
ROAR i hate it hate it!
why does it ALWAYS happen..i dont wan it to keep dragging.
i wan to finish it noWWW!
=( lifes sucks i swear.
oh wells, no time to whine and give up now =)
soon it'd be over and i'll be prepared to collect my As =D
once again,every night its tears
7:42 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
What Fokruilingralene Means |
 You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. |
once again,every night its tears
5:01 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2008
i need to finish my art work!!!
i'm freaking pissted about it.
everytime when i wana complete it, i get some last min hiccups..
its just so darn irritating =(
ytd, i went on finding teacher spree(ok i'm starting to crap)
i went to find..
ms ong,ms reena(for the cca thing)
mrs ly-an(lit)
mr liew(physics)
ms wong(geog/ss)
yupp..after that, went back to do my art.
sigh.i was EXTREMELY disappointed with what i got for my CCA achievement..
i got a merit -.-" pathetic.
i love GB for educating and giving me the opportunity to grow in my leadership skills and spirtually.
but i hate GB for being so unreasonable.
i must achieve a bloody badge in order to do this and that.
but wth its not that i cannot get the badge, but i cant.
see the difference? i CAN but i wasnt given the opportunity..
and i had a valid reason, because i had competition!!!
argh i hate it =(
sigh, i really need the motivation and discipline to study.
someone help meeee! =(
once again,every night its tears
10:15 PM
Thursday, September 11, 2008
went to school as normal,
but i signed out during recess..
due to gastric(sp?).
sigh, it was the worse gastric i ever got.
even though it kinda faded when i reached home.
went back to school ard 3pm+ to do art.
pathetic life, i know -.-"
but i cant help it, i NEED to complete my art board asap
so i can focus on my prep work and other subjects.
even though i aim to finish yesterday -.-"
but right now, all i have to do is to make the paper sculpture stay on the board
(which is the most difficult part.)
i kinda went teary when i screw up my paper bird
when i tried to put it on the board.sigh.
ok i officially announce, I'M STRESSED. =(
but yea. i figured i seriously need help for geog.
i want to know where i've gona wrong.
feel like finding ms wong, but i'm afraid she might scold me and all those stuff.
sigh.
hope tml will be a better day =/
once again,every night its tears
10:38 PM
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
horrible results!
english: C5
emath: B4
phy/chem: B4
chinese: C6
SS/geog: F9
art: A2
lit: B3
for lit, i short of freaking 1 more mark to A2,
i got 69marks -.-" stupid, why cant i just write that one more point -.-"
so irritating.
L1R5: 24points.
L1R2B2: 18points.(i think, if subjects i counted were correct.)
sigh, someone kill me.
what 15points- .-"
i'm like getting 15+9, dont even talk abt 20points..
sigh, i really, seriously need to improve on my english.
i seriously cant believe my english is that bad.
i read alot of books.
so why does my english suck big time?
sigh, freaking fed-up.
oh wells,
on with what happened today.
as usual, checked the scripts for..
emath,chinese and lit.
ptfff, hate it hate it.
toss awhile with ivan during the lunch break
den went to ikea with amber,bolin,chermaine n dorcas.
came back just in time to go thru the lit paper.
...and stayed back for art after that.
sigh, i'm completing it SOOOON
i know i've been saying it since duno when
but now i just have to figure a way to stick my bird on my board and
just repaint afew areas, and TADA my board is done =)
but obviously i still got my prep work to do..
which i'm currently doing.hopefully i'll beable to finish it soon too.
sigh, i'm tired of life.
really really tired.
once again,every night its tears
10:39 PM
