❤ Its more than just words.

Declaration

God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference

In JESUS name,
AMEN

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

this will be my last post untill i come back from service learning
or maybe i wont even post anymore..

remarks on ytd's chinese Os:
HORRIBLE..
well its not really difficult, its just that i misread the question for paper 1 =(
just hope tat my paper 2 can score really really high =/

oh wells, off to kachanaburi..
honestly saying, i'm not in the mood to go..
should have just gone for local service learning..sigh

once again,every night its tears

8:43 AM

Monday, May 19, 2008

today is definately HARDCORE FRISBEE DAY!

meet ivan,carlos n gerald at clementi mrt at 8.30am
yea i know its crazy to wake up at that time on a public holiday but
you'll see why its worth it!(ok at least to me =) )
alex picked us up at 9.40am aft that at clementi..
thanks alex for giving us a lift to NUS =) so nice

we(ACJC frisbee ppl n 4 of us) did drill 1st
i sort of "give up" on the 2nd drill cause i was super confused
and i kept dropping the disc
we were suppose to complete 15cycle..
you might say huh 15 only..
but if someone drops the disc its back to 0..
so yea, not wanting to be the black sheep,
i came out of the drill... =(

we played game aft tat..
it was fun..cause..
i learnt how to stack properly n cut properly
but yea, i got a leg injury cause i collide(Sp?) with someone
and his knee like slam my shin(sp?)
so its super swollen now=(

aft frisbee at NUS the 4 of us
bought fried rice den went to 79
played xbox 360 for awhile n iced my leg..
den went off to wcp at 4pm

frisbee was okay, i find it abit boring
cause eveyrone was so serious..
maybe because they are the pros
n like for every wrong throws i got "scolded"
which sucks so i ddint want to play at all
oh wells...

joel asked ivan n i to go ACSI on thurs
i'm freaking tempted to go cause
they will be playing game
but i cant cause of stupid chinese Os =(

i wont be playing frisbee for 2weeks from now
cause aft Os theres service learning so yupp
but mayb by den i'll go once a month cause i've got to study for Os!

oh yes, one amazing thing is..
i did my homework! =)
after 2years of not doing homework, i finally did =) hehe
i feel so proud of myself =D

oh wells its a small step towards getting good results for Os =)

once again,every night its tears

8:11 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2008

sigh studied chinese whole day..
i think i've got food poisioning from the dinner i had at lemon grass last night
oh man, i had runs 3times today =( irritating
so much for enjoying thai food..

oh wells, i guess i should start watching my diet
i've been eating soo much food
and obviously i gain weight..
so i've got to lose weight!
when i plan to do..
cut down on sugar-ed stuff,
skip recess(since its not really impt),
have light dinner and no supper
yuppp..i should be able to lose weight

tml i'm going for frisbee no matter what
i need to release stress n lose weight ahah X)
clifford,clement(bascially the ACSI frisbbe ppl),weisong,jacob n joseph
all had frisbee competition today
sigh, i want to participate in the competition too! =(
oh wells, they'll be having another match on monday...
oh yes! monday is a PUBLIC HOLIDAY! =D
got frisbee again at 4pm at wcp =) yays!
i shall either stay at home and study or go support their team den go for frisbee on monday yupp
but before all that, i've got to complete my homework =(
irritating stuff

oh wells, so much for holidays
oh oh, i cant wait for service learning trip from 26may-2june
its gona be funnnn =) i guess..
oh wells, i love kids n i definately would love to help them =D
as long as they are not little devils which i dont think they are..hehe
shall go back studying soon =(

if theres something you should know,
i definately do not trust you anymore.
wana know why?
its because of the lie tat both of u had told me
i tried to close both eyes n treat it as though its not a big deal,i swear i tried
but its just so painful for me..
( IFY, i'm not being dramatic here.its the freaking fact )
you said "it" to me, but i think its a phrase you dont mean it at all..
with the constant lies that both of you keep telling me,
you've got 0% of my trust now.
i'm not going to hate you or anything, i just dont trust you =)
and IMO i do think that both of you are quite fated be together
or should be together
cause both of you are good at wearing mask =)
thats why i never did put it in you..
well i did in the beginning but now its over.
its nothing really personal, so no hard feelings yea?..
i'm just saying how i really feel so yupp =)

once again,every night its tears

10:22 PM

Thursday, May 15, 2008

sigh..
i'm restricting myself from the computer..
mayb only can use for an hour =(

i got back my results
its super horrible =(
L1R5 i got 33points..
well done Ralene, be prepared to go ITE if you continue to be like tat
Eng - C6
Math - C6
Chinese - C5
Phy/chem - C6
SS/geog - E8
Art - C5
Lit - C5

oh wells..at least i improve my math..alittle =/
sigh.i swear if i ever get this grades for Os
i'll jump down, seriously.

once again,every night its tears

9:13 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

ok this is something i just read
http://www.asiaone.com/News/Mailbox/Story/A1Story20080514-65077.html
and this is my opinion about it..

sometimes i think we humans should just stop pushing it..
i refering to the power we had against animals.
i mean if you think properly, its not the cat-lover's fault for being kind to the cats
theres no wrong in doing a kind deed right?
and most of the cats in Singapore had be steralised already
so how can there be dramatic increase in cat population?
i just think people are just exergerating matters..
and the problem is not about feeding them but littering right?
so why are people arguing whether to feed or let them starve?
to me, i think this problem can be slolved if the cat lovers
just clean up after feeding them..like what i usually do
we shouldnt let the cats starve! its inhuman man..
what if one day all the cats in Singapore dies?

so yupp..
anw from here onwards i'm just gona vent my anger out..
I FREAKING HATE PHYSICS!
i hate studying i hate it!
damn it luh.
one day i'll just go insane from all this bullshit
i swear, if i could go back in the past i'll kill the founder of physics
or in the more positive way, i wish i was smarter den i could study bio or go into a better skl den freaking fairfield who treats students like some lab test rats.
damn it luh.ARGH! i hate school.
ever since sec3, i hate the subjects i take
i dont find the joy in studying anymore
F*** luh.i swear this year is the most depressing year

my god-bro asked me to come up with a study plan
but f*** hell why dont i have the discipline to just follow it?
argh i hate myself!

once again,every night its tears

11:21 PM

i wana start with me saying this..
I FEEL FREAKING GUILTY FOR NOT DOING ART TODAY!
i'm suppose to stay back to do art today..but i went home
cause i'm dead tired =(
nvm i'm staying back tml to do my art..
sigh, now it looks crappy(refering to my art piece)
hmm..took a long nap aft i came home
had dinner aft i woke up den started revising my chinese..
i seriously think theres nth much to study though..

sigh..i think i disappointed mrs ly-ann today
cause of the lit homework thing..
its like i think she expects me to be able to do a simple essay thing
but sadly i couldnt..and she seems yea..
sigh.whats happening to me!?
i use to score in lit..now i'm like failing?
freak it man! WHATS WRONG WITH ME =(

once again,every night its tears

10:53 PM

Monday, May 12, 2008

came home straight after skl today..
so not used to it man -.-"
erm slack abit, i know i'm not suppose to but hey at least i rmb to do my work aft that =)
erm went to play toss wid my maid for awhile n here i am.
blogging, i'm gona start mugging for my chinese =(
as much as i hate it, i dont have a choice.
stupid Os, when i'm through with you..
i'll party all night long! =D joking haha..
not really the party kind..

i'm still not really prepared for the talent quest thing tml -.-
its been a long while since i sang in public..
n my voice now is kinda..erm rusty alrdy =( sigh
just hope everything goes well tml =)
i've decided..to mug for chinese aft the talent quest thing
and after CCA phototaking
den head down to ACSI for frisbee =)
even though Alex ask me to go ACJC XP
haha..i've got more friends in ACSI den in ACJC hehe
oh wells..
life is saddening =(

i'm so gona get screwed next week when its meet the parents
i bet they'll be so shocked they'll start whacking me the moment the see the result slips
n soon the red marks will not only be on the slip but also all over me =(
sickening, report book used to be my favourite book..
now its my worse enemy.

i feel really stupid..
when i study for my subjects or understand them i cant score at all..
but when i dont understand anything, i score A1s
amazing uh?
mayb i should stop studying, den i can get my A1s =D
sigh, life's a joke.

i can only think of 4reasons why i still can carry on with my life
1) my family
2) my friends
3) frisbee
4) i dont wana go to hell(if you get the point)

FRISBEE ALL THE WAY! =)
i can say tat my passion for frisbee is way much hotter
den my passion for...nvm dont wana say X)

once again,every night its tears

7:30 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

went out with my parents for breakfast at Macs harbour front..
my dad den decided to bring us to go watch movie..
erm what show i dont know the title
but its about marrage thingy..its a funny show =)
erm aft the movie went for lunch at Akashi shiok sia =)
but before tat went to find sam n convinced him to go for fris later on =D
YAY! so tat means i'll be going too =)
hmm came home got my stuff den head off to WCP
its suprising to see quite alot of ppl at WCP( i meant those frisbee ppl )
today's game was fun but kinda short..
its a 1 and a half game
the half game is because the pro ppl came n we had to split teams again =/
oh wells..went to play toss wid erm colous?and jerrard?
ok i duno really know how to spell their name but yea
tossed till 7.30pm+ ok close to 8pm
Alex keep asking me to go ACJC on tues
i really wana go but den..i'll be feeling awkward and i've got chinese Os =(
i hate Os, sickening..
oh wells..i've got to do some time management n have more discipline in myself if i still wana play on sundays.. =(

plans:
study hard for chinese during weekdays, meaning :
- come home straight n start mugging
- pay attention more in class
- stop slacking( like DUHHH )

oh wells..i hate student's life
but i'm happy i dun have to work yet

can someone make me fall in love with physics?
its pulling down my science marks =(
sigh..6points..
its like playing catching with me
when i'm the catcher n its the runner =(

once again,every night its tears

9:02 PM

Friday, May 09, 2008

I just need to find back the real me..

once again,every night its tears

8:29 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

all i can say is that
this year is a
FUCKING BAD YEAR!
sigh..my results are fucking bullshit
and i keep getting injured
and i'm losing my friends =(
what on earth is freaking happening man!?

this fucking sucks like shit
i'm starting to hate everything!!
i cant freaking get promoted in GB to staff sergent
so i'm just gona get fucking B3 for my bloody cca points
what sia, i like committed 80% of my life to GB and this is what i get just for not getting tat fucking drill badge?
what on earth is this fucking system luh!

next i fucking fail most of my subjects
n freaking have just passed marks for the subjects tat i passed
theres still english which i havent gotten back...
if i fail my english, i'm seriously prepared to jump down
i fucking know its only mid-years but
for someone like me who has been scoring high marks in her entire life
and now she is like failing like shit
its a bloody big setback luh.
i fucking now feel like i'm the most stupid person on earth
fuck man.

den whats next?
i keep getting injured..
i'm not pissted off abt the wound i got from frisbee
but what the hell its freaking not healing luh
i take good care of it n its like getting worse fucking shit man
den what when i came home, i fell in the toilet
thanks to my fucking sister who duno how to bathe den wet the entire floor
fuck shit luh now my back hurts like shit
den what she gives my mum attitude when obviously is her fucking fault
bloody bitch.i'm the one who fell n not making or screaming at you
and you still wana insist n think that you are always right n the world is always against you
why the fuck do i even have such self-centered,attitude problem sister?
maybe i shouldnt even call her my sister
when all she do is just eat n sleep n play com.
if i have to go see the doctor n she says i cant play sports anymore,
i'll either kill myself or kill tat bitch
fuck man.my life is freaking pathetic

sorry for all the vulgarities.
its just a spur moment of anger.

once again,every night its tears

7:33 PM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

today school was as normal
wanted to sign out but the teachers didnt allow me -.-
what the hell man.irritating
now my injured leg is abit swollen..
so, sadly, i'll have to stop frisbee or maybe sports in awhile =(
stupid man this sucks
its only a cut n like its swollen.lousy leg
i guess i'm just not up for injuries..oh wells

read something on the news..
and i find it quite disturbing..
http://www.asiaone.com/News/The%2BNew%2BPaper/Story/A1Story20080505-63509.html
i mean if she is pretty,smart n have a attractive personality why do such things?
isit because her family is short of money?
or because she wana buy stuffs out of her own desires which she cannot afford?
or she just want to have fun and at the same time earn money?
its werid man.
if i were like her(have the looks,brains n supposely attractive personality)
i would go for miss singapore luh...i think its a better way to get money
n also help the world at the same time rather den selling my virginity away..
i'd say its extremely stupid

i think the world is changing..
teenagers/kids now are getting smarter
in academics(which relates back to me; i'm a teenager, i should be scoring As n not Fs)
but they are losing out on alot of moral values
such as showing respect to seniors,basic manners..etc
so yea..i wonder what the world will become in 20years to come
mayb ppl will stop giving each other respect n prolly go back to behaving like a babarian?

i realised tat many ppl, including myself have been asking this qn:
" why do we need to study? "
so that we have get our certs/degrees to get a proper job
" so what, we have to work everyday.."
so we can earn money to support ourselves n buy what we like..

i would say this is the most basic reason why students like us are studying like mad
but i would also say, i get to learn more stuff =)
more knowledge is good =D

but come to think of it logically..
the rate that the world is performing..
with the price of food increasing consistently, supply of natural resources are depleting..
every one will soon lead life styles of the past
where ppl grow their own crops n everything..that is, for bigger countries
but how about smaller countries like, us, Singapore?
will we end up like Venice?
people now are battling over something called, money.
but i dont see the reason why people are doing tat..
you cant eat money, you definately cant drink them..
well, if you wana use them as fuel, sure, but it wont really work..taking the fact that you are burning paper.
so why are people fighting over this paper like thing?
isit because people wan to use it to exchange for luxury?
or something to exchange it for mouth-watering food?
or to exchange for entertainment?
or to exchange it for some high-technology which will spoil anw..

sometimes i just wish life could be simple..

once again,every night its tears

8:16 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

came back from frisbee with new wounds =(
on my ass n my leg
but i'm gladd i "layout" twice during the game =)
missed one but scored the other hehe =D
"layout" afew times while plaing toss too =)
YAY! now i'm more inspired to be a better frisbee player

sigh skl starts tml =(
dun really feel like going to school ROAR!
results =( ms thio said tat we'll be getting back chem paper on monday
oh man i do hope i can pass..

i'm so gona get long socks asap
so i wont get anymore abrasions
oh wells..
chinese Os is coming..kinda worried abt it
even though i know i wont study for chinese
cause its rather stupid n i suck at rmbing chinese words/idioms
oh wells..hope i can at least get a B3

once again,every night its tears

9:35 PM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

went to skl at 9.30am
did my art all the way till 3pm+
i was the last to leave art room..even mdm lim left luh =(
sian..oh wells..
i was waiting for my parents to fetch me but
unfortunatly, the car could not start so yea.had to go home myself =(
so yea i did not go for fris because of tat cause by the time i go i'll only play for like 1hour?
or mayb less den tat so i asked my maid to play toss wid me
i tried to layout n i did =)
ok not really the jump layout but those kind when i had to slide on the grass to catch the disc
it was fun..but tiring =/
the wound from thurs frisbee got scrap open so there was blood -.-
irritating, i think i should go n buy long socks
like those soccer ones to like prevent abrasion again
oh wells..

now blogger got his scheduled post thing
its super irritating -.- now i have to record time like 10am when i'm posting at 8.30pm
roar..this sucks

once again,every night its tears

7:16 PM

Friday, May 02, 2008

wooo!ytd was the most boring/exciting day of my erm..
ok i know i dont make sense..so i shall explain it now =)

why isit exciting?
- cause i watched 2movies in a row!
- the second movie lasted till 1.45am
(which my parents never allow before so its cool!)
why isit boring?
- the waiting time in between the movies is extremely boring

so yupp =)
watched iron man den the forbbiden(sp?)kingdom
iron man is super cool n sexy =)
as in the high teach stuff
den forbbiden(Sp?)kingdom
was abit boring but funny =D

Today
went out with my parents to book fair at expo
amazingly i bought 7 books..
it never in my entire like occured to me tat i would actually buy a book..
other den my textbk luh duuhh
hmm den went to popular to buy ring files to help myself organise my notes
cause during the midyears(which i'm so gald its over)
i realised my notes were everywhere
so to make revision efficient it's time to start filing notes =)
so yupp den went for frisbee at wcp
my throws sucks badly

i think i should start to consider joining serious frisbee training
so i learn how to stack properly,
make a cut properly so i would be a burden to the team,
throw properly,
catch properly and finally...
to learn how to do sexy layouts =D

i tried to do 1 today but i end up wid cuts on my leg =(
cause i had 2nd thoughts on lay-outing
tats why i was 1sec slow n i end up landing on my legs..sigh
if only i had more guts man..
sigh..

oh yea, i found out tat wilson..e ex fairsian n a volleyballer
is staying beside my condo!haha n you know whats the funniest thing
he stayed in his condo for 9years n i stayed in my condo for my entire life
we never met each other before.super werid luh..
haha.oh wells =)

i heard tat the exam papers are coming out tml.
shit man..i'm scared.very scared

once again,every night its tears

11:45 AM