Declaration
God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference
In JESUS name,
AMEN
Friday, July 31, 2009
Boy,
you got me wondering, loving.
=)
once again,every night its tears
12:24 PM
Monday, July 27, 2009
wtf my sister just cursed me to be even more sick
just she saw me viewing the killer fungi video.
fucking bitch.roars
stupid luh its not like fungi is not in my microa topic
it IS! plus its interesting
and the video is less den 10min it wont kill me what.stupid
sigh totally not in a good mood
like keep getting sick
and now is really not a good time to fall sick
esp with all these project work,assignments and exam
tsk.GO AWAY =(
anyway this was the video i was watching
its totally like AVP
fucking scary.
imagine consuming the cordyceps den the next day got fungi growing out of ur head =/
you know how i feel,
its just that i dont know now.
once again,every night its tears
11:40 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
wana know some funny stufff?ahaha
the four of us have been labeled
michelle- cool
kaiyun- sexy
ginette- cute
ralene- hot.
HAHA omg hilarious.
eh but im hot X)
thank you thank you thank you!haha
okay apparently my brain is not functioning well
i wonder if the antibiotics is really working ahaha
flower-pot
so many project work to hand in.
screwww.
go awayy.. =(
once again,every night its tears
11:34 PM
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
TEAM FOX!
CHAMPION BABY! =)
super tired now.
i think i injured my right thigh
freaking pain.roars
oh yes,
SORRY MIKE BLACK FOR SHOUTING AT YOU!
im sorry im sorry im sorry! =(
oh wells..
my back hurts damn badly
like whenever i stand or walk
its like $%$&*&^%
got to see the doctor on sat.
and YES..
my very first F
F for... FLOWER-POT
sigh. F for my math common test.
seriously.. $^%$&^%$
demoralized.seriously
its like giving me green light to quit poly now.
sigh.
i duno how the flower-pot am i suppose to burn mid-night oil every night
to study..to STUDY
like even Os i didnt burn much..only for art.like 3days only
how to do it for 1month!?
esp for math!?!? i'll just die
and like the bloody infection on my head is not giving me enough problem..
its like giving me a headache..like seriously i cannot think properly
plus it hurt.ROARS
sucks luh.
8am class tml.
eeeekkks!
i so happy but also demoralized
sigh.
being the last in class is totally not funny
no more frisbee.
once again,every night its tears
11:54 PM
Saturday, July 18, 2009
went to stay over at ivans hse last night
cause its only a 10min bus ride away frm np
not like my hse..1hour plus zzzz
seriously why dont i have straight bus to any school?tsk
anws.
my team did win anything
cause we got into pool B
cause we played like %$#@$% in the first to games
like SERIOUSLY
and i think its partly my fault.
keep dropping disc =(
fed-up with myself.seriously
but after awhile, we played better
trashed the teams in pool B hehe
seriously i duno wtf is wrong with that group of guys wearing blue
its like i walk pass them den they were like
" woah that girl's face damn red. "
i was walking to the toilet to change my shorts
den when i walk pass them again, they said
" see see that girl's face damn red, like her shorts colour..eh why she change her shorts.."
like wtf is your problem.
my face red also not your problem -.-"
as in i just dont like the way they say it like..
its like they gave the " despise " tone
ah but wdv.i think they are soccer players or something..
doesnt mean girls cant wear soccer shorts dude.
ah wdv.
all i know,
i enjoyed myself today
cause at least i get to play with my friends whom i havent played with since i joined DK n NYP
i think even though i m in a club n NYPU..
i shld also spend some time with my old friends
cause they were the ones that taught me what is frisbee
and help me improve when i was lousy..
helped me to a standard whereby i got spotted by ben
otherwise, i dont even think i wld be in DK or NYP
i wld be in NP or something.
cause before DK i didnt even know NYP existed =/
LOL oh wells.so yeaa
i will never throw them aside because of yea.
but at the same time i'm also loyal to DK n NYPU also luh.
DUHHHH~ its just tat i will have to spend some time with my old friends =)
got to go stupid bishan library at 11 tml..
for CS project which is due on monday
seriously, flower-pot.
i really wanted to sleep in late den chiong on the tutorials
but yea =( stupid flower-pot.
why the flower-pot did i choose NYP seriously, its like so far
and all my friends stay to flower-potting far.
seriously, not funny.
its getting so bloody irritating.
bishan library at 11 means
waking up at 9am
9am!!!9am!!9am!!
ok im grumpy n tired.
oh i went to my grandma's hse for my cousin's birthday
and i saw my cousin's old maid
she came back aft 6years!!
omg omg i was super excited
i mean me n her goes all the way back man.
like if she stayed on, her years in sg will almost be the same at my maid..
give and take 1or 2 years.
my maid is with me for 10years alrdy i think more than that..but yea.
ahhhh~ =)
super happy to see her
whats funny is that she didnt believe it was me when she saw me
cause of my short,brown hair..and me being "skinny" n tann
so yea.haha
but she like damn funny, hugged me to tight and didnt wana let me go
den aft that she kept talking abt the past
like last time when i was still damn small n all ahah.
funny luh she..
missed her many many much much.
if my maid were to do the same thing i think when i see her i'll just cry
10years lei.how tight is it man!
oh wells.gtg off to bed soon..
im happy for the game today,
im happy that i managed to irritate that girl even though i didnt manage to face her on the same field, but i pissted her off by being a active sideline to ivan's team.like exposing her positions and all..ehehe.in your face *beach who ask you to kaobei me during that pungol competition.doesnt mean you wear skins n u r from -- means you are like damn good.sure your throws are better den mine.but my spirit of the game is definately better than yours!at least i hv good sportmanship.
talkin abt skins,
i finally did a proper layout! =)
super funn hehe awesomeness dont even need skins can.
and im happy i bonded with my old friends =)
and lastly, im happy i went to my grandma's hse..
found a old treasure and yea, mingled ard with my relatives
i actually miss them alot.
project works n tutorial,
here i come =/
i think i injured my back.
it hurts whenever i move. =(
once again,every night its tears
10:12 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
seriously,
im damn tired and irritated about tml's food culture test.
its totally wtf luh.
sigh.@#$#^$##&^%&%^%$
im just looking forward to sat's competition =)
and hoping that my layouts and hucks will be there on that sat
to kill off the other teams.ahem esp that team.
i think i kinda gave them the impression that im a pushover
cause of the ponggol competition.
i'll freaking prove them wrong!
watch me out beat those wanabes X)
esp that fking girl.i'll make sure she'll run till she die
yea trash talk.haha.but seriously
i dont care, i want to win on sat's competition so so so badly
and stuff the gold medal in their faces or rather in HER FACE.
anws,
went for dinner with
chel,g n greg
loves the dinner session man =)
oh yea,dont mind me,
just let me spam cause ive been keeping this for along while..
i freaking seriously hate guys,
who keep asking me the same thing or make me repeat myself.
its @#$@% sorry but i hate repeating myself
are you so desperate that you have to ask my friend abt me
and please you got a gf alrdy.
fucking hell.so what if you say im hot.
that doesnt mean i MUST talk to you online
and you are attached you bloody jerk.
stay loyal to her n stop trying to talk to me,
cause i dont waste my time on losers like you
who are just fucking desperate
or maybe cause you think you got a hot girl friend(as in friend),
you'll be more popular or wdv..
just fucking get a life loser.seriously.
not funny at all.
and i HATE guys,
who make use of people just to get close to the girl they like
and fuck, im not your fucking toy.
seriously, im giving you fucking alot of face alrdy
by not making a big fuss over it n telling everyone your motive
and i know all those outings are organised and im invited because
you guys only wana see that certain people and they wont go unless we(extras) go.
come on, im not stupid..
there are many things that i know, only thing i act as if i dont
dumb shits.
im @#$#^%$#$$#$^$%& tired and #$%^&%$#$%$^ moody =(
cause i seriously need to sleep
and a break from fucking poly.
too much project works that this isnt called life anymore
and fuck my internet.irritating
study now.
&
i feel its starting to fade.
and im thinking, im not meant for this kind lifestyle
once again,every night its tears
10:00 PM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
im so proud of myself.
i figured out the bloody html code for the blogskin
for the stupid microA shit
and modified it.YAYS!
like come on for a IT noob like me,
its a bloody big achievement =)
esp when the html code is so different from my current skin,
i got lost in that html world.
once again, YAY to me!ahah
back to microA report =/
i havent even study for food culture yet!
omg,omg,omg,omg
5weeks to exam?
@#$%^&*#$%^&*
once again,every night its tears
6:19 PM
no mood to study =(
i wana play frisbee =(
once again,every night its tears
4:48 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
im so happy with myself today
for today's trng =)
my 1st proper "layout" aft how many freaking months
and go-2 drill was awesomely tiring
i've nv had this feel for so long that i actually forgot whats it like.
i think i shld sleep early every time =)
my mum says ive not been smiling whenever i come home anymore
like the smiling ralene is gone..
she always she me sulking or moody.
i tell you why.
first,
my normal boring self, always seem like im moody.but actual fact.I AM NOT
second,
i always only come home and do homework/project/study,how to smile
three,
i dont really have the habit of smiling.
fourth,
theres nth really to be happy abt at home, unless i get to have a proper nite rest.
so yea..oh wells.
im happy today =)
i hope i continue to improve and not stop here again.
LETS GO RALENE!=)
but oh, im not going trng tml =(
study food culture =(
stupid elective,a complete waste of my precious time.
once again,every night its tears
11:33 PM
Saturday, July 11, 2009
i really love DK and NYP ultimate.
like seriously.
but its like..
i duno luh.i dont wana give up both of them
but like i also wana join competitions with my outside friends
=( i dunnoo
why cant things be simple as it shld be?
sigh =(
i miss those times
whereby i knew what i was doing
and when i was playing with the hunger for the disc
and when i had the freedom to do anything..
cause now im like
walking ard aimlessly,
forcing myself to play frisbee, forcing the hunger to come back to me
cause i really want it back badly =(
and like now i have so much work to do n my parents are getting more n more naggy
and im falling sick so easily every now and than..
freak luh.
i need more than just this.
once again,every night its tears
12:00 AM
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
sigh.
when everyone find the test paper do-able
i dont.
i mean i know the test paper isnt difficult
its just..i cant do it.
i duno wth is wrong with me.
i need like a miracle.like some stuff to make me smarter.
nonetheless..
im mentally prepared..
to be sent to shatec.or however u spell it.i dont care
or, to give up frisbee =(
to give up as in, to stop completely so i can study
and my life wld be..
school, home, study and prolly i'll get tuition for math or smthing.
sigh.whyyyyy am i so dumb.
they say in this world there are no such thing as dumb people,
only lazy people.
its totally bullshit!
im a living proof!just wait for the results.
i did study, but yea.just see my results uh.
sigh, i know im not stupid..
its just tat, im not textbook smart can.
oh but..im not exactly streetsmart either =/
ah okay, i'll just admit im stupid in every way.
anw
im just happy,
they postpone the food culture test
till next week =)
yay me, more time to study for it.
and more time to complete my assignments!sigh.
hate that word..
ASSIGNMENTS
7weeks more till exam.
freak man.
i seriously duno how im gona do for it.
its like, even common test im struggling..
i cant imagine exam.
i think i'll just sit there n think of how im gona face my parents
poly is @$%^%&&$ irritating.
im still not used to how things are in poly.
ahhh.sigh.
i shld have just gone to ite or study private
but i dont think it'll make any difference.
im freaking moody now
cause math paper is tml
and im seriously, not prepared =(
like seriously SERIOUSLY
esp when its my weakest weakest subject..
uhhh.this amount of pressure can just force me to do stupid now.
screw it man.
hate failing.seriously freaking hate to fail.
but i just cant freaking focus on revising..
after being super demoralised for the phychem and inorg paper
i think im currently : why do i need to study when i know im gona fail alrdy.might as well just play.
sigh.im freaking weak.
yay, i didnt use any bad bad vulgarities!
even though im freaking $%^&^%$ now.
sigh.
once again,every night its tears
9:24 PM
Monday, July 06, 2009
i swear, im so tired now i can just lie on my bed n sleep
zzz..
didnt sleep the whole night ytd
or rather, couldnt.
not because i was stress or studying but yea
its because of my performance in frisbee
sigh.
its like, im seriously trying very hard..
but it always back fire and give ppl the impression tat im not trying hard enough
sigh.wth is happening to me.
screwed up man.
oh wells.
microA test was fairly okay.
now i panic for phychem
like seriously.
i have no idea how to study for it..
i mean, memorizing formulas n definitions..
den what?i just cant do the qns.
even though i tried.sigh.
its just cannot do.i duno why!
AHH~
i wana sleep now =(
and its like after common test week
ive got totally no break at all.
cause i've got to hand in
1) phychem report
2) microA report
3) phychem tutorial
-e-learning
-chemical kinetics 2
4) inorganic tutorial
-e-learning
-periodic table 2
5) CS draft report
6) Food culture presentation
7) Food culture poster
woah omg. T.T
someone, help me.seriously!
once again,every night its tears
9:02 PM
Sunday, July 05, 2009
my maid just pass me n my sis a slab of meat
and like ask us to cook it ourselves
cause she was cooking spaghetti sauce
im soo happy that i prepared my own lunch X)
haha of cuz with a little help from my maid..
cause its been so so so long since i prepared a dish myself.
my sis cooked like a meat stew
or rather like the chinese style so she can eat with rice
and i decided to have a steak for lunch! =)
cause i didnt feel like eating rice or noodles.
and i did found some nice stuff to go along with it like,
dried mushrooms,broccoli, potatoes n onions!
=) perfect!hehe so yup.
im quite satisfied with my meal
hehe cause at least its not like burnt or anything den..
i decided to head down to wcp
cause of my stupid neighbour's dog. stupid dogs,
keep whining n whining!
like from morning 8am till evening..roars
they whine n cry, i also whine n cry cause i totally cant concentrate studying at all
esp when its 2 bloody dogs!
oh wells. it started to pour at wcp,
and i decided to like just play a frisbee game X)
hehe i know im suppose to be studying
but before i head down to the field,
i did went to find seats but i couldnt get any so yea..
i decided to join ivan they all at the field.. aft afew point,
i felt guilty n i tried to study in the rain.
attempt failed.miserably..
ahaha and it started to rain cats n dogs
so yea everybody just went to macs for dinner.
and i stayed on to continue to study after they all left.
and woah its my 1st time studying outside ALONE!
felt alittle uncomfortable.but its okay luh
left macs at 9.50pm.
microA, please be nice to me tml.hehe X)
i really did put in effort to memorise you
i just hope you dont slaughter me tml..
oh yea, ivan bought a yellow msia disc for me!
haha how nice of him =) thanks IVAN!
yay i got another disc now!
but i doubt i'll use it.
cause its msia disc n its shinyyyy ahaha
oh wells, back to studying
abit messy but yea
yummy eh!XPonce again,every night its tears
10:37 PM
Saturday, July 04, 2009
ive been searching for that missing piece in my life
till now, that i've decided to stop searching.
i've decided,
i'll just live my life and not let anything affect my way of life
meaning,
i wont let anything tie me down.
no smoking,
no boyfriends/girlfriends(im just saying, not that im les -.-)
and whatever rubbish
it'll just be me,studies,frisbee and friends.
im just scare..
that once i decided to ignore the distractions
i'll regret.
which will always happen,
because it always does..
sometimes i hate myself for falling in love,
it spoils me.
and i need more than just time itself to get me back.
i just need to try..
i cant find that song on the radiooo!
roars!
once again,every night its tears
1:56 PM
went to study at bishan library with mike
met ky,michael,greg n g at the library too =)
hmm aft tat went for lunch at LJS
den we went back to the library to study
zzz..freakning tired.hate studying.seriously
but its the only way to keep him off my mind
seriously, to stop smoking is so so much easier
compared to accepting him as a friend.
oh wells, im happy i revised thru 2chpts of phychem
even though i duno what the heck its abt...
at least i tried luh.
just hope i can get pass with a lightly better grade compared to average
sigh, i swear im freakning jealous
of my classmates.
they can do last min study and definately do well in the coming test..
i feel dumb, seriously.
its like i study so much and i think i'll only just pass?
i duno luh..it reminds me of Os.freakning shit.
sigh.pathetic.oh wells.
had subway for dinner! =D awesomenesss
with mike,chris n nic...
and i officially give up on looking for a suitable dress for me to wear to school.
haha.i think i'll just stick to shorts n shirt..
cause my freakning figure is so not suitable for a dress
or wdv fancy clothing
seriously man..sigh
got no figure,lousy complexion,short,dumb..what else eh.
OH WELLS..
somehow i just wanted to type tat..
and i know it makes me sound emo n wdv
but im in quite a happy mood now..
weird, yea i know.
I WANT EAT YOGURT! =)
and oh yea, somehow, went i walk into the arcade after dinner
and saw this toy, it reminded me of joel tan.
not like it looks like him..but yea.just some memories.
cant wait for time to fly now
even though i know im not prepared for the tests
i still wana just do the bloody test n carry on with life..
life as in, normal lesson + frisbee trainings
oh wells..
hey its the start of the end of the world!
4th july 2009.
Chris told me that.hehe
once again,every night its tears
12:00 AM
Thursday, July 02, 2009
omg can
i should give up singing.
what am i talking abt, i've alrdy stopped singing..haha
once again,every night its tears
1:34 AM
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
overslpt today
cause it rained in the morning..
super shiok =)
its been so long since i had a proper 4hours of sleep
why 4 hours cause i couldnt really sleep till like 7plus
sigh.
i swear,
i'll win the dumbest award in my class
i really duno how to do the math e-learning assignment
that have to be submitted
TODAY, like nowww..lol
sigh.
and the textbook isnt really helpful at all.
i've decided to give up on math for awhile
cause michelle says she'll try to teach me when she comes back home
and finish up microA
yes..up till now i have finish microA YET
not sure if i shld go out to study tml
with ky, some of my classmates n other ppl from MB 0904
(which i totally duno them at all)
im just scare we might end up
chit-chatting again -.-"
but i dont think we'll chit-chat in the library..rite..
either way, woodlands is damnnn far
zzz...its like i duno ahaha the other end of the world for me.
oh wells.
this is what happens when you go to a school tat is freaking far..
you make friends tat stay freaking far too..
i think i've got this thing for guys who plays frisbee darn well
ok not darn well
but can tell they are playing their best.
i duno luh, they just leave a freaking attractive..hmmm..opinion?i duno whats the right word
but yea,
to me they are freaking attractive =)
oh and if they can go push-ups correctly,
double hotness X)
oh wells.
hot guys with a nice character,
dont exist.
ok they do, but sometimes they are taken
or just not bf material.
so i think i can just keep dreaming abt them in my lala land..lols
or maybe i'll just go to robin's sec school X)
uh opps.ahaha
once again,every night its tears
9:29 PM
okay im like super stress now so
wdv u read..its just yea..
just for me to spam n yea..you knowww...
and i sort of "cancelled" all the spamming so yea.my blog wont be so emo
hehe.but yeaa
as much as i hate school,
(but i loves the girls in my class ^^ , not the guys.tsk)
i seriously hate e-learning more than anything else..
even rejections and being irritated
seriously, for a IT noob like me...e-learning is fucking hell
i duno wtf im suppose to do
even if i know, im still darn blur..zz..
sometimes i just wana kill technology..
went out to watch transformers
with the frisbee ppl..
mike,nic,elle,jamal,shireen,wanyu,nat n jasper
the movie is not bad luh..quite funny n exciting
next movie i wana watch is the ice age 3
but i doubt i hv any time to watch it
cause i hv freaking hell alot of project work to hand in..
like one after another
and oh yea, i havent even touched on phychem, math n food culture yet.
fuck.im screwed.like seriously
aft the movie, went to eat dinner at marina
den slack at the esplan rooftop
chit-chatted and stuff.
i just wished time cld just slow down at tat point of time
[emo part]
sigh..
seriously i wonder when is the turning point of my life
when will things start to get better
i mean it totally sucks to know
you've got stuff to hand in like TML
and when you duno how to do it AT ALL...
i seriously, just wana drop out of school
i have like completely no purpose at all..
even if i get a diploma in my course, so what.
not say i can get into uni..
even if i can, whats the point when i cant even study what i want in singapore..
i also cant study overseas cause my parents cant afford it..
so whats the point.
and like even if i get a bloody degree,
like many other female scholar..i'll end up being a housewife.
seriously, whats the point.
sigh.
so tempted to just walk out on life.
[end of emo part]
to all those that keep asking me to stop smoking..
i said i'll stop smoking means i'll stop
so dont worry.
just got to finish the pack first X)
and no worries, its only 2 sticks left cause my sister finished 1/2 of it -.-"
some times i just wish
life can be like Sims
i can like just control the situation and make things go the way i want it to.
den life wld be a breeze..
literally.lol
ohoh!
i suddenly rmbed , jasper saying " i like black cocks "
so guys.ahemmm...haha
super funny, i suggest using glow in the dark condoms
i mean black ahems and glow in the dark condoms
is a pair what right! X)
oh wells.
sleep now.
like NOWWW.. =(
once again,every night its tears
12:50 AM
