❤ Its more than just words.

Declaration

God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference

In JESUS name,
AMEN

Friday, September 26, 2008

today is the day,

when all art students are to send their art piece to the examination area..

i skipped the lessons before recess,

simple reason, my mum wants me to sleep in

because of the fantasic rainy weather -.-"

had macs and mos burger for breakfast

(you might be wondering why i list out 2 different fast food resturant,

its because i ate a filet-o-fish den a mos cheeseburger.suprised?

dont be.)

bought macs for amber..

sorry dorcas n chermaine, didnt have enough money at that time =/

reached school just in time for amber to have the macs for recess..

went for lit class,

thanks godness art was the 1st lesson and it rained.

otherwise i'll have to explain why i'm only in school for the 2nd half of the day.

thank goodness i dont have to lie =)

..blahblahblah..school was okay.

only thing i kinda got demoralised when i got back my geog test results..

9/25

sure to get A1 for Os man -.-"

who am i kidding.no JCs for me now.sigh.

anws!

after school, everyone took their board and prep work down to the lorry and bus.

i got some trouble with mine because its super fragile,

dont wan any last min shit happening...

so yes, sent the board there and, boy, they really took care of our art pieces extremely well.

you'll be and idiot if you believe me..so yea aft that we came back.

didnt stay in school today to study,

i guess its lazy that made me wana go home.

and i had noone to study with, so..

home is the best place =)

thats the end of my day.

just to change topic,

its no longer about how my day went.

i've been thinking how my life has been like..

for the 1st two years in secondary school,

to be honest, i know that i'm a bitch.

and i was definately sure, i'm always happy to screw up someone's life.

in case if you hadnt been mean before,

the feeling is super awesome.better than taking drugs..

not that i've taken it before..its just a saying.

and when i screw someones life,

the people dont blame me for anything..

when i reached the end of sec 2,

i realised i was damn damn evil and just pure bad.

because i had retribution, i lost two most impt thing in my life

(well i cant really say thing, cause its a cat and a human..)

they were both my bestfriend.

as for my cat, she had been ever since i was in pri 2,

untill she got into an accident before my sec 2 EOY exams..

and for my friend(the human one)

i guess, we are not meant to even be aquintance(sp?)

so yea, that made me want to change for the better..

sec 3 life was difficult. it may sound crazy,

but at times i was so tempted to make sure the person i dislike have a hard time of her life.

and yes, bad habits are hard to break..

like i said, i was tempted.

but i didnt do anything bad...

and now, sec 4.

the bad habits are definately gone.

but its just werid how life works..

i get blamed for everything i do, even if i do it with outmost good intentions.

sometimes i really do wonder,

will it be better if i change back to being a bitch or i shld just be good..

cause people had accused me of the stupidest stuff ever..

like i'm out to steal someones position, made someone cry, break up the harmony in the class..

like what man?get a life people.

steal someone's position?

ha-ha real funny, you people have the outmost creative imagination i've ever came across.yea right.i think you need to cut down on TV dramas, i've got way much better things to do than to play with you puerile behaviour..

making someone cry?

i'd be most happy if i were still a bitch, sad for you, i'm not anymore.

break up harmony in the class?

you gotta be joking, in case you didnt realise. oh wait i bet you didnt.

i've always wanted our class to be united.

shall i emphasize on the word ALWAYS.

i ALWAYS hope for a united class when i reached sec 4, but i guess its not about to come true anyway.

( and yes i've not forgotten every single shit.because i hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE being accused.

and even though i clearly have a memory span of only 1week..cause i cant rmb what i did before that week..these are the type of things that i'll rmb for life.dont ask me why, its just how my brain works.)

back to me,

i realised something..

when i changed, i felt that i've lost a part of myself.

i'm not refering to the evil part of me..

but to the strong me.

i've lost my strong sense of determination,perserverance and

the ability to be able at look things positively.

even my friend could tell the difference in me.

i've been trying to get them back but..

it feels like all i'm doing is just facing a wall, with no path.

i've lost my sense of purpose in life..

espacially when my dreams just keep falling away from my grip one by one

like a domino...

(not bad eh?good descriptive? X/ )

whats next after Os?

the world coming to an end?

sigh..

once again,every night its tears

10:04 PM