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Declaration

God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference

In JESUS name,
AMEN

Monday, December 24, 2007


today is suppose to be a happy day
to celebrate my grandma's bday
but apparently it wasnt even happy for me.
early morning n my sister started throwing temptrum
she took a sofa pillow n threw it on the floor
n i picked it up for her.wth
even if its "your" house still got other ppl living under the same roof rite
ok i didnt tell her tat but yea just my thoughts
we argued over a stupid thing.

i was like watching my show on tv
n the table was full wid stuff n i was eating my lunch
my sis had to rudely asked me to move.
all i did was just "tsk"
den she was making alot of noise
den i said" wth table alrdy so sqeezy still wana sqeeze in"
her "mummy ask me eat now cannot isit, ask you move abit also cannot arh"
me"you can move the things on the floor rite"
her"you wan put mummy's food on the floor arh"
me"you can put away e oranges rite"
after tat my dad started scolding us..
obviously we wont saying it as normal
she was shouting n making alot of noise..
i was like e wah lao everything i must do for u meh kind of tone..
den she started throwing temptrum by opening her bloody carrot cake super loud
den eat damn fast den aft she eat finish, she like annouce that she finished eating
by wrapping the pack back like damn fierce den bang the table den shout
" I HATE YOU "
like ok..whats more saddening
my dad didnt scold my sis, he scolded me
like i shld serve my sister, give in to her
like wtf give in to her many times i also nv get a thanks
she insulted me sacasticly so many times i also nv scold her back
ok mayb once or twice..
but wah lao every human being got their limits to everything
if she is my younger sis obviously i'll give in to her n bloody hell scold her for her rudness
but wth she is 8years older den me..
and she treats me like a bloody servant like i owe her my life

ok so tell me why isnt there any justice in my life
why isit that everytime this kind of thing happen i'm always the one being scolded?
why isit that she can make as much noise as she wants n not get scolded?
but when i just make 1noise i get scolded like as though i owe the whole wold to her?
why isit like i'm always the one at fault?
WHY CANT I FUCKING HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY!!!!??

i shldnt have even went thru the trouble of buying her a xmas present
n waste my money on her when i can buy present for my friends tat appreciates me more den my so called sister
i really shldnt have...

i feel like jumping down
but sadly my condo only have a maximum lvl of 4storeys only
so even if i jump down my life wont end just like tat
even the tissue box have run out of tissues to wipe my tears

i think my life is just so pathetic,everything i do also wrong.
i dont have a happy family
i dont have true friends in my class
i wana love someone but im not allowed to
i wana go church but it'll never happen
i wana score simple 3 A1s is like making the moon mine
the biggest joke of my life is tat i when i wana sucide i dont even have the facility to kill myself

i dont blame God for my pathetic life
i only pray that he'll take away my life now

once again,every night its tears

7:04 AM