Declaration
God grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,and,
the wisdom to know the difference
In JESUS name,
AMEN
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
another boring day in school.
finally tml is th e last day of extended curriculum(sp?)
starting to its bloody useless..sigh.
holiday homework just keeps piling..
looks like i really cant afford much time to play around anymore.hai..
i think i shld just keep comments to myself from now on.
i know there are many things i'm done which are wrong..
and i'm gona confess it to God.
inside, i feel so disturbed. feel so impure..and i feel EXTREMELY DIRTY!
i'm like full with sins which i hate and i wan to get rid of them.
but somehow..
i just have to say things about
hyprocites and bitchs.
they just totally pisst me off.damn it man.
cause those ppl, no matter how well you treat them, they'll harm you again n again..
not say they harm you unknowingly..
they purposely do it and for their self.
once again,every night its tears
11:29 AM
Monday, October 29, 2007
didnt go church service -.-"
my mum told me last night what wana bring me out for lunch..
and guess what i woke up and noone was at home.
i was like WTFREAK! could hv gone to church..damn it..
went for frisbee..suppose 2 bring brownies for joel..but..
i didnt know he was going to play..cause i thought he wld msg me he was going..
den i cld pack some n bring it for him..oh well.
I'M SORRY! another time i guess..
frisbee was fun..but it drizzled..so we kinda play in the rain..
now my leg hurts. dun wish to go to skl tml.ahaha..
i'm so happy that i'm gona get my PSP TML!
YESSSSHHH! =DDDDDDDDDD
so excited luh. PSP! PSP! PSP!
i'm so gona bring it to new zealand..hehehe
and play it on e plane =)
talking abt new zealand..i think i shld start packing my lauage(sp?)
cant wait man =)) i'm gona start my revision soon.aft the new zealand trip..
just cant tolerate people with such low integrity..
pathetic loser.really.
spam also spam with name right.
be responsible for what you have to say to others.
this kind of people..such low-class standards are just total bullshit.
i think that person should look at the mirror first then judges others..
if that person is soooo pretty/handsome..
why didnt him/she win the Ms Singapore award?
or isit that he/she is too ugly thats why he/she doesnt want to state his/her name when spamming people's blog.
anyway to that pathetic loser..
look at yourself before judging other people..
you are no better..in fact..
with your kind of despicable character..
its obvious that you are worse than anyone.
with such childish mindset of scolding people on their tagboard..
is just so primary school.
if you are not happy with what i've just said..
come find me luh not say i'll run from you.
at least i have integrity
and i absolutely just look down on people like you.
once again,every night its tears
12:47 PM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
sigh.i just dont know why i find it so difficult to go church.
i really REALLY want to go to church..
but i just cant.my parents are stopping me =(
i'm really depressed.
i really really wished i was born in a christian family T.T
its so difficult.i just dont understand why i cant go when its my own personal believe.
i wana see my parents happy but i also when to have life by going to church.
i feel very empty when i dun go for church service.
its like a drug i'm addicted to..
symptoms of not going to church?
- depressed
- no spark in life
so i guess i can only go frisbee tml.
sigh.
God, help me? you've seen my tears, you know my desires.i need a mircle, salvation for my family.
Let them know we all cant live w/o you and we need you in our lifes. Make them open up their hearts to you, let them accpect you into their life. I really wish for the time when I can go to church with my entire family. LORD! i know you it'll make it happen, because YOU ARE THE ALMIGHTY GOD WHOM I'LL LOVE & WORSHIP FOREVER!! God, i need you, i need a mircle..
once again,every night its tears
2:38 PM
met keef at 9am at my hse busstop.
i love him alot man.
didnt expect him to go the extra mile for me.(refering to personal stuff)
i think he is e 2nd best thing i eva know in my entire life..
other den God being the 1st of course.
aft tat we went vivo to eat breakfeast...
den walk walk..
we met barn,kiat,tang n hakim later on at macs again..
den we went safra to bowl.unfortunately..
some skl was having bowling competition.. -.-"
so me,kiat,keef n shervin(met him at e bowling ally)went to play pool..
den barn,hakim n tang went to play arcade.
aft tat we split our ways..
everyone seems to be very tired..haha.
keef n i went to eat at vivo - long john slivers.
barn,shervin n kiat went to zoom
tang n hakim...i duno.haha
my 1st thought i did when i reached home was..
i need my bed.haha.
so yea.slpt will the way till 6pm. =) i'm not pig.i'm just tired.
woke up.watched naturo..den went to revise my math.amazingly.
but yea.i'm now waiting for my mum,grandma,uncle n aunt to come back from genting.
its been awhile since i went genting..
kinda miss the cool air n nice scenary..
oh well.got to start revision on math n do my homework.
once again,every night its tears
11:54 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
went to skl to collect report book today..
1st in class but wid onyl 57.4%
pathetic. -.-"
next year i shall get straight As..not say i didnt get it before..
and nothing is impossible wid God by my side & putting in extra effort into it..
aft collecting the book, went to eat breakfeast wid my dad
den when to cake shop to buy stuff for baking brownies.
there are so many interesting things in e shop,
things i nv see before..
and many many different type of chocolates.
they even sell 1big slab of dark chocolate abt 1kg
which only cost 8bucks+
oh man i think i fell in love wid that shop..
so many cheap bakery items..
bought 2packet of plain flour,1big slab of dark chocolate,1000pieces of paper holder and 3blocks of butter.
and guess what!it cost only abt 19bucks!so cheapppppp
if u went to NTUC it'll cost more den 19bucks n i dun even think u can find 1kg slab of chocolate.haha
anw yea, came home n started baking more brownies.
i think i'm crazy over bakery alrdy.keep baking things.
i shall bake chocolate cheese cake the next time around..
if i got e money n they do sell e stuffs tat is needed in singapore.ahaha.
so yea..practically whole day is just slacking,got to clear my locker by tml..
so retarded!got so many books in my locker how to clear -.-"
sigh..tml got thanksgiving service..
i think i'm gona miss ms lim..
okay she mayb fierce n exteremely unreasonable..BUT
w/o her i dun think fairfield will have such good standards..
somemore she comitted her whole life into fairfield..7years.tats so long!
oh well.i do hope e new principle will be better..at least not so strict..
and not worse den her..since his previous job was..
being a vice-principle of RJC!!! scary! =(
oh well.shall go slp early.
causes theres tuition tml n i dun wan to fall aslp during tuition again..
oh yea!
abt my brownies..
they are 100% made by me.
they are not instant brownies.
only losers use instant brownies cause they taste horrible.
and they can give ppl food poisioning.
once again,every night its tears
11:38 AM
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
sigh.i'm starting to hate skl..
theres nothing much to do in skl..
and i'm starting to find life meaningless.
all i know is study study study...
isnt there somethign more to it?
den just playing,studying and everything else
had leadership training thingy aft skl..
it was fun but i was super tired..didnt have e mood to do anything.
aft tat weixin n i went to check on e GB girls doing e parade...
came home n just started to feel moody..
life is soo boring..
lucky got keef =) makes my life less boring.
once again,every night its tears
12:49 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
HAPPY 2nd MONTHVERSARY!
haha.i love him much much!
school was super waste of time today..
had nothing much to do..
expect going thru papers n preparing for next yr
my L1R5 is 26points..
ok its bad but yea i did made improvements..by 2points..haha
den my L1R4 is 20points..
sigh..even poly dun hv place for me also i think..
oh well..still got the holidays n the months before Olevels..
i'm gona study n study man..
A1s will flood my report book n not F9s-D7s
i'm glad i dun hv to go S2E..
but i'll still go back to help my friends with their studies =)
if want to go 4C'08 we'll all promote together!
acttually i thought of forgetting the problem..
but when i heard that she hated me alot alot
and that her attitude towards me is super contridiction..
it became another problem..soo...
i decided..
not to forgive but just to ignore.
hyprocrites will not be forgiven,
lies shall go to hell.
fuck off den dun touch me.
once again,every night its tears
11:45 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
finally went to GMC service today.
was suppose to go JY but i woke up at 8.47am when it starts at 9am..
haha.i feel bad making yelin wait..SORRY!
anw yea..my mum is being a $#%@^ when i told her im going 2 church..
she keeps picking on me..
what pack my room before going out,
den give me a super super hot soup..
only drink finish den can go out..
den ask me abt a karaoke cd SHE BOUGHT...asking me is it karaoke..
like wtfreak,you buy one den u claim i ask u buy..
den she start scolding me when i say i duno..
she is been damn $^%$%^^ unreasonable.
i hate being born in a non-christian family..it sucks.
went to meet keef aft service
to celebrate our 2nd anniversary together..
its suppose to be tml but yea..tml got skl!
sian..ehh but yea..LOVES HIM!
even though he may not be perfect..
but he loves me sincerly and i'm touched by tat fact.
and this is what he bought 4 me..
i love you light bulb keychain..so cute luh..
anw yea..my mum keeps giving me atittude till later in the night..
sigh, i just duno why she dislike christainity soooo much..
oh well gtg pack my bag for skl tml!
LIGHT BULB!
i have my reasons for walking out on the group
and i'm not saying it.
i'm not unreasonable..
and i just realised i took e matter really seriously,
as i could ignore them totally..
i'm kinda shocked that i wld actually behave that way(ignoring ppl for days),
but i guess its e impact that made me behave in this manner.
it may not be a very big thing to other ppl..
but to me, it is a big thing.
once again,every night its tears
1:47 PM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
had inter-class today..
sadly it rained =(
so we had to play frisbee n capt ball in e hall..
and soccer, in e floyer..werid..yea.
but yea..i played frisbee n capt ball in e rain while waiting 4 our class turn to go..
suai enough i had my period..freaking cramps make me suffer..
our 1st round of capt ball is wid 3A
i kept falling down =( and got hit many times..
but yea..e stupid cramps was affecting my standard of performance..sian..
we got trashed =(
against 3F, we also lost..but i didnt play with them..
but our soccer guys won 2nd place =)
well done =)
junn n joseph almost had a fight..
but yea lucky nothing happen =)
came home early n rest..suppose to go ecp wid my family but yea..
my cousins didnt wan to go cuz it looks like its gona rain so it was cancelled.
instead..we will be going to my grandma's hse..
oh yea ytd had e new zealand trip meeting thingy..
luckily i got some friends in my group =)
like titus,yelin and daniel daddy! =D
so i'm not alone YAY!
cant wait 4 the trip, its like super interesting!!
also, when i come back from e trip, i confirm can score A1 for my geog..
cause there are 5courses on geog, 1st hand experience not bad!
like rivers and coasts, geog on food..blahblah..hehe.
super excited!plus got hot pool =)
but i hope i dun get my period during the trip..
it so spoils everything esp when we have to travell to different destination every day..
like hiking..climbing hills n all tat..
i hope it comes before e trip or aft the trip but NOT durign the trip..sigh.
why do girls have such a problem...
irritating.. =( oh well, shall not complain..
but give thanks tat i'll still be going to new zealand n learn new things.hehe..
once again,every night its tears
7:24 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
went to skl..
before skl, i met zhang lao shi at staff room when i was handing in a form..
she talked to me..abt studies,class results,class attitude,who will be retaining..blahblah.
so what.haha.den ms wong came out..
she saw me den she scolded me -.-"
why i did so badly for geog and was expecting me to do better..
but like e guy teacher mark untill so strict..
anw i fail by 2marks
still not very bad what..ok luh but i expected myself to do better also.sigh..
had a super strict attire check today..
but i didnt get caught.ahaha i'm guai =)
in class had nothing much to do..check results,clean classroom den we were dismissed.
had GB from 10.15-12.15pm.
its been super long since i had intense drill session..
all e sudden do so intense drill..no used to it =/
anw i'm so happy tat ppl say my brownie is nice =)
i shall bake more during the holidays.
any orders? 5brownies for $2
AHAHA JOKING! =P
once again,every night its tears
9:28 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
done baking =)
i maked keef wait on e phone while..
i baked e brownies,
paked them and drink soup..
and i totally 4got abt him!
SORRY! hehe..
anw..yea.
its ugly but its nice can.
my sister, being e idiotic one..
took most of e nice brownies away..claiming tat she baked it..
when she only came in e kitchen for e last 10mins...idiot
cheer up michelle!
dun be sad k?
i hope this verse will help you.
i hope this verse will help you.
God will always be there for you =)
then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, " Here I am "
Isaiah 58:9
once again,every night its tears
11:08 AM
i passed math & chinese =)
math paper1 : 45/80
math paper2 : 43/100
Total: 51.3%
chinese compo: 35/50
chinese letter writing: 17/20
total chinese paper: 52/70
chinese paper 2: 28/70 shucks X(
chinese listening: 14/20 =/
chinese oral: 31/40
total overall chinese marks: 125/200
ok.so e only subjects i failed was..
combine humans and combine science..
sigh, my chemistry =(
ok i shall not dwell over it anymore.
gonna bake more things to eat =)
michelle =) , cheer up k?
have faith in God.
there's a reason why he did that,
prolly a lesson for you to learn or something for you to reflect on..
dont lose faith and be discouraged by your results.
at times like this, God is testing your faith in Him.
somemore, in the outside world,
people look at your Olevel certs and not your sec3 results..
so work harder k?
dont dwell in the past too much cause there is nothing you can do to change the past,
but you can do something to change your future.
smile girl =D
once again,every night its tears
7:40 AM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
sigh.resultss...i failed combine humans by abit..
i failed combine science by abit..
passed my english
passed my lit
but they are just boaderline passes.
i feel so useless luh.
i was very confident wid my geog, chem and lit..
but it turned into my worse nightmare.sigh.
i've never failed chem in my entire life before..
and i'm not top in lit anymore =(
2hours..not even enough to finish my lit papers.sigh.
i heard from hakim n keef tat i passed math.
with 53+marks.but failed overall..
i told my mum tat but she still scold me..
like wth not say i'm v good wid my math, i pass alrdy happy can..
sigh..but obviously Olevel i want a A1.
i feel super demoralised n disspointed wid myself..
i mean.. F9s and D7s never flood my report slip before..
but its gonna happen..i think.
shld have just stayed in NA, i knew tat my results will drop =(
sigh..cam home n baked cookies.
hoping tat i will feel better but...it didnt really work =(
even though e cookie looks really nice =)
and it smells super nice too =)
COOKIES
anw here are my results =(
Eng paper1 & 2 : 68.5/110 62%
Combine humans: SS- 23 geog- 23.5 46.2%
Art: 70/100
combine physics: 35.5/75
combine chem: 38.5/75
once again,every night its tears
10:23 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
collecting results tml!eeek!
sian.i really hope i do well in my subjects
and tat noone wld retain
4C'08! =)
went to watch balls of fury wid keef today.
it was funny, but kinda lame -.-"
love him alot <3
but sadly he got to off early.
but i'm gald he was willing to spend time wid me =)
once again,every night its tears
11:27 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
went out for class outing.
sadly only e guys came again -.-
wtf man.what a class.
met jun,hotang,shervin,jervis,kiat,barn and mr tan at seoul garden.
the food was nice =)
aft tat mr tan sent hotang off.
den e rest of us went to ps
wanted to watch resident evil but den..its NC16
most of e movies now are like NC 16.WTF
where is e freedom to movies man.sucks shit.
den we all went back.
stupid jun tricked me.
i shall not shall anything abt e trick...
cause its darn stupid even though i suspected he wld do it..
wah liew i duno why i still so stupid go follow what he say when i knew what was gona happen.
argh..stupid stupid.argh..
den me n kiat went home.
he dun even know theres a overhead bridge near his hse like.wtfreak.
haha.gay..funny ass.
fun day =)
love the guys man.
once again,every night its tears
9:40 AM
Monday, October 15, 2007
didnt go service today =(
went 2 meet keef at wcp b4 frisbee..
jun,hakim n tang they all also gona play soccer at wcp wid keef joining them.
frisbee was fun even though e sun was scotching hot.ahah
ok i so fucking hate liars
n to think i trusted them.
sickening!fuck you!
i hate you!i hate you!
once again,every night its tears
2:50 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2007
didnt had a good nite slp...cause..
when i close my eyes, all the sudden painful memories came back to me.
painful memories of my ex n myself being together.
the keychain,the ear-ring,the movies,the celebration of our anniversaries...
and everything else.
i guess the trip to sentosa triggered the memories to come back.
the sushis,the bacon sauages,the hugs and kisses..
sigh it was our 3rd month anniversary =(
it really hurt badly and i couldnt slp well.
sigh wont you just go away?
i know he love me no more n neither do i..
so stupid memories get lost will you?
i've got a bf now n i love him.
so just shoo off.sigh, i just wish there is a permenant memory eraser to erase you away.sickening.
once again,every night its tears
12:01 AM
Saturday, October 13, 2007
had class outing today.
it was totally pathetic.
in total only 9 ppl came inculding me ou tof 27 ppl.
what a fucking united class we are -.-"
so who came....
barn,jun,tang,terence,hakim,ryan foo,jin kiat,keef and myself.
we meet at HF mrt station den we we to hv breakfeast at Long john slivers
went to e arcade..den went to sentosa siloso beach.
oh yea i met my cousin leroy at vivo arcade and at siloso.wad a coincidence(sp?)
haha.we camped near big boulders den played volleyball..
just when it was getting fun..it rained -.-"
so we went to sarpphire pavallion den played volleyball there.
barn got a cut on his leg n was bleeding cause we were all playing on rough floor n barefooted...
he is soo unlucky...haha
mr tan,fern n clara came too.
oh yea jia qi n sarah came too but they left upon reaching for 5mins only -.-"
cause they were hungry.LOL!
clara was soo cute but she dao me alot of times today =(
hmm aft tat we went back to vivo n ate long john slivers again 4 lunch.
hakim went home, barn went to join jiaqi n sarah for a movie
the rest went to play soccer at WCP.
keef sent me home..so yup..came home n i slpt on e sofa.
was super tired but it was a fun day.
too bad to those who couldnt come.its their lost =P
next last class outing i'll b organising.
steam boat, next wk.
i'm sorry.my expectation of a bf is too high i guess.
tats why i got disspointed easily.
sorry.dun blame yourself.
once again,every night its tears
12:32 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
YAY!tml is e last day of exam!
got mt listening compre and art exam =/
sigh..math paper 1 was ok..
it seems doable but yet tough.
wad to do on tml aft exam??
sian..keef is gona play soccer
den like i got nothing to do..
sighh..looks like e only place for me is home.
this is totally crap man.
i'm like not close to e girls in e class..
i just might as well change my gender -.-
since i can hang out wid e guys more often..
i miss my last year class.the times when we hang out aft exam..
ahhh..the nostalic feeling..is killing me
oh well.gtg back to my art now.
finishin my 2nd layout..all i have left is 4sketchs of layout -.-"
sighh..
once again,every night its tears
9:21 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
WOOHOO!
chem paper was super easy =)
easiest paper so far.haha.
but chinese paper was a killer.
i have totally no idea wad it was talking abt.
what bridges and durians.oh man.
its retarded.
keef sent me 2 tuition even though i dun wan him to.
stupid stalker.but aft tat we talked den everythings ok lei.
sigh.i splt durign math tuition while doing math.
like wth!was damn tired..
oh man i'm sooo in love wid clara she is super cute =)
i feel so lucky to be her God sis =)
Clara!HUGHUG!
once again,every night its tears
11:28 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
sigh.
had Math paper 2 and english paper 2 today.
English paper was average but i hope i can score A2.
but Math paper..was tough.
i couldnt do some questions which add up to 20marks gone =(
but i still hope i can at least score a A2 or at least B3
got to start studying for chem paper tml =/
i hope i can score at least B3 for chem paper.
cant wait till exams are over..
but i still got no plans on what to do on thurs aft exam =(
sigh...
is either i go WCP wid e guys and watch them play soccer..
or i duno..mayb go home =( which is sooo boring =(
sighh..
once again,every night its tears
5:56 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
today had geog and physics paper.
i found both papers easy..
but according to my classmates they found it difficult.
maybe it's too difficult tat i found it easy to duno how to do =\
aft e papers, went to queensway wid
barn,kiat,jun,hotang,shervin,hakim,terrence and keef.
all e guys went to play CS except keef
den we went to eat laksa den walk walk ard queensway.
he sent me back to skl
cause i got to meet eric and study wid him.
eric lim!you better start studying!your exams is tml you pigg!
hehe.oh well.no skl tml
but i plan to start on my prepwork for art and den go 4 math tuition den study lit and chinese
for fridays paper.
i really do hope i can get top in art and lit and science =
once again,every night its tears
1:46 PM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
FUCK THE IR FORM!
i'm gona get 10marks minused from my social studies papers.
but i hope they'll just let me go and close one eye =/
stuppid teacher of all ppl must catch me not writing my name
i hate you!
i screwed my english letter format.
suppose 2 write to principle but i wrote to teacher-in-charge.
i feel like stabbing myself a million times.
why on earth didnt i see the word principle?fuck shit
i also didnt finish my social studies paper
i have not completed my 12marks and 6marks qns.fuck!
i hope i do not retain =(
i'm so freaking depressed.
fucking IR form, you just made my day worse >=(
i hope e same thing doesnt happen tml =
anw aft exam i went home.
told my mum abt e ir form and got scolded by her sayin i deserve it
like its my fault.i really dun hv e fucking time.screw e fucking teacher >=((
came home den i start punching e wall.
my hand turned super red and pain aft tat =(
aft tat went to queensway wid my mum to photocopy 1 of e art book.
came home n here i am.
i'm gona start studying for geog and physics soon.
screw, my hand hurts, i cant write properly
once again,every night its tears
7:06 AM
Monday, October 01, 2007
sat
have chinese oral den english in the morning.
mr kwa was my chinese oral examiner
mdm chong was my english oral examiner.
haha how lucky can i get...
kinda screw my chinese but mr kwa seems ok wid my performance
but english, i guess it was ok but mayb i dissapointed mdm chong abit.
haha.aft tat..went to do my art.
art man.i have to do abit of sew for my art.wth!
i HATE sewing.keep poking my finger wid e needle.
at least i completed it. =)
but it doesnt look as nice as i thought it wld be =\
keef came back to school to look 4 me.
so sweet rite =) loves him
den he sent me half-way go WCP.
cause he had to go 4 church =(
make me walk under e sun alone =(
met jun,hakim,lin hong,barn,ho tang and johnaton at macs
studied for awhile.okay mayb only me,johnaton n jun were studying
e rest were playing n slping.
barn wanted to climb e pyramid so we all went.
i didnt want to climb but i had to pass e liquid paper to barn..
den end up climbin it, wearing a skirt.
kns some ass wana upskirt me.duno who is tat idiot HUH!!
haha.jkjk.aft tat went home.
fun day =)
loves my classmates man.ok mayb some.
TODAY
woke up late.
dilly-dallied, studied finish physics.
i'm soo happy.
finished 1chpt on geog, got 2more chpts to go.
and 1more chpt on SS
hahah.still got lit and chem to study.. =(
sigh.papers starting on tue!
how time flies, soon i'll b taking Olevels wtfreak man.
people like you.
freaking irritating pieces of shit
you just never learn do you?
once again,every night its tears
1:17 PM
