somethings are treasured

2010-08-16T12:27:00.002+08:00

wont be blogging in this blog anymore.

if you wan my new blog add, ask it from me :)

2010-05-29T23:26:00.003+08:00

once again, its been ages since i blogged :)
dont know if there are still ppl viewing my blog,
if you do, im so sorry!haha
i've decided not to blog because i feel that wdv i think or feel..
i should tell my bf and not bottle it up n type it here.
and yes we are still tgt :D
keyuan and me <3
exactly 1week and we will be into our fourth month. YAYS :)
ok i know to some people 4months is quite short..
i agree, but what im YAYing about is that we still love each other as though we just met
hehe.

seriously, my bf is just so sweet!
i thank his ex for being stupid to let him go for another guy =X
cause keyuan is so sweet n nice.
he is willing to work harder so that we can eat like expensive restaurants tgt..
cause i usually only go for restaurants.. =/

oh wells, struggling with my studies now.
Year2, Sem1.
not easier, alot of cheem stuff to learn but i think i can handle it..
ahhhh~ alrights back to work.
totally love long weekends :D

2010-02-25T00:27:00.002+08:00

after how long, im blogging again XD
now im in the midst of 2nd sem exam.
still got biochem,orgchem and microb paper left

I MISS YOU KEYUAN!
so very very much.
and i seriously hope, nothing will change between us.
your feelings and attitude towards me
and mine towards you.
i tear the moment i think of you leaving me :(
and i definitely dont wan another heartbreak

2009-12-26T12:56:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i've blogged.
prepare yourself for a long emo post
cause lately my life still sucks..

it really sucks to hate the school that i used to love.
yup, its like only been more den half a year in NYP and i hate it alot now.
i dont find any reason to go to school anymore.
the breakup still makes me hate the fact about going to school
cause that r/s was the only reason that kept me wantin to go school
the travel time, waking up super earlier, trying to cope with my studies so i wont repeat
it was all worth it.
but after it was over,
i felt that i've lost my purpose of going to school
and im still feeling that way..
and its getting stronger.
esp now when i dislike the reason why i chose NYP in the 1st place.
come to think of it, i should have just listened to my parents advice
and make a better decision and not based on my friends or cca.

now, the only reason why i would go to school is cause of
my classmates..mike and diana.
otherwise i think i'll try to switch to NP vet course..
otherwise just study private.
sian.this sucks luh seriously

i really do love it and enjoy it.
but i dont like how im being forced to do some stuff
even though i did make changes.
i just dont understand,
maybe, just maybe i'll end it :(
or i'll just go, do my stuff and leave..
argh i duno.fucking frustrating.
and i thought everyone there were awesome ppl.
sigh.wdv

i love you
mike, diana, amber and those who cared for me and accept me for who i am :D
i seriously do.

2009-12-08T22:23:00.002+08:00

SATURDAY
went out for dinner with ivan n eeshan
we tried to find the new building..orchard central.
but got lost in some other building.ahah
in the end we walked n found the tall building..
walked ard, got a queue number for a korean/jap restaurant
had wait for 30min..
so we went to walk ard, checked out the roof garden
haha new spot for couple.
i'm totally gona bring my bf there when i have one again :)
its nice but the rain was a spoiler :(

carlos n oxy joined us for dinner later on
the food was not bad :)
seriously, i'm gona go walk walk there when my holiday comes :D
nice big building
sat n chat there till we got chased out =/
den we walked around..
oxy left cause he had the standard chart run at 4am
and it was alrdy 11pm by den
the rest of us head to giffrafe,sat and slacked till 12am
den we cabbed back.

thanks for celebrating my birthday early :)
i had fun! :D
the retarded moments made my day.

thanks alot ivan,
you better not get a gf!haha X)

2009-12-01T22:35:00.002+08:00

didnt sleep the whole night.
only mike should know why.
i feel so so so shagged.
sigh.

after school, went to dover.
thought that i should drop by merv's hse
since i havent been to his place for so long and i miss clarah.
so yea, dropped by, played with clarah and all.
i love her to the maxed!
ever since she was born and now with her younger 9month old sister :)
i love them both :D
i promise, i'll go back more often when common test is over :)

aft tat, i went to fmss
omg i miss secondary school life :(
i managed to go in cause mark brought me in and yea
walked ard and try to recall all the fun times :)
i love it, i visited my sec 4 form class room,courtyard,basketball court and cca block.esp gb room
the only place i didnt go was the art room and the bridge.so much memories..
i miss mdm lim :(
stayed on, waited for markong to finish his "free" dinner
den we went to meet amber,cheryl,cliff,jacob n bolin at dover market
they are closing down alrdy so we wana eat there once last time before it closes :(
all the awesome moments.sighhhh.
we all wanted to eat the tomyam ban mian but its closed..so suay..
so we all ate rice n dishes instead except for bolin.haha

after dinner,
they gave me a really sweet surprise :)
which i totally didnt expect
my early birthday celebration.
they bought oreo cheesecake which is totally awesome,
bought me a orange zinc handbag with a orange frisbee. <3
haha.
hanged out, camwhored and chitchatted:)
if only i dont hv school tml..i wouldnt mind stay up whole night just to spend time with them
cause i'll nv know when will i see them again

oh wells,
aft tat, ambers mum gave me a lift home..
thanks auntie! :)
so yea.im now posting up the photos on fb..i need to sleep
my dark eye rings are horrible!

2009-11-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

i love you so very much :(
yes, up till now

2009-11-18T21:25:00.002+08:00

school was as usual, boring. =/
rushed thru cell bio report for later
and organic chem tut for tml during my 3hour break
this sem is so rushyy.hate it.

went to meet mike after school
accompanied him to amk
cause he needed to get something from his friend
seeeee im such a good friend! X)
haha, he treated me yoghurttt! yay
well he owes me that.haha XP
you still owe me one more mike!
hehe.

too much work =(
have to edit 4reports,
study for biostats test,
3 usual reports,
math project work.
OMG kill me! :(
why are they cramping everythingggg.
tsk.tsk..
oh wells.

i need to change my blogskin
its too dull for me.

2009-11-15T11:14:00.002+08:00

wee at my grandma's hse now, stayed over night.
im trying to complete my report now
but but..my cousins and laptop is like distracting me X)

i love my cousins <3
even though they are like afew years younger den me
they care for me as though im their younger cousin.ahah
guys like these dont exist anymore.
gentlemans ahaha.
or maybe its just my family's upbringing..
i duno.
i should totally spend more time with them..

sigh.
frisbee is giving me a headache.
i cant decide if i should stop for awhile
cause common tests are coming and my knee hurts.
argh.

i dont need any guy in my life.
and
i can live my life alone.
it'll just be like last time

2009-11-06T23:21:00.003+08:00

biostats and biochemistry is killing me =(
shit shit shit..
sigh..

sometimes i wished im like some of my classmates
no matter how sucky the lecturer or tutor is..
they can still understand the topic when they study.

some people are born smart.
some people are born hardworking.

i tried to understand biostats and biochemistry
but every time i try, its like a total turn off -.-"
biostats is like math
but slightly more difficult..
and biochemistry is just..
omg wtf is the lecture notes talking about..

argh.
oh wells..i shall try studying again on sunday..
if not i'll prolly just sleep through the day =/

training tml! =D
but my left quad and right knee hurts right now..
no idea why..

i seriously believe,
my life is not meant for this.

2009-11-05T16:32:00.002+08:00

come on ralene, get up and move on with life
its obvious he doesnt want you anymore
he doesnt miss you
he doesnt even love you
just freaking move on!
he isnt the only guy in this world
there are plenty more, better guys too!
get over it and move on!!!!

i know =/
easier said than done.
sigh.why isit so difficult?

i swear, i dare not love or trust anyone anymore
or at least during this period of time.
i think i was in my own pathetic dream
when i believed that he was the one for me
and he truly,honestly willing to love me
maybe he did for that moment but not for long term..
argh shingz X)
when will i wake up from this insanity =(
this emotional torture can kill me any time soon.

i'm screwing up my work
i'm not paying attention in lectures
i'm not enjoying life anymore.

my only escape is when i go to bed
and thats the reason i dread to wake up.
frisbee is no longer the solution for me.

its been about a month now,
5more months and hopefully i'll get over him
or if not..11months more =/

ah crap.emo post =(

2009-10-29T21:15:00.001+08:00

reports n reports

2009-10-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

this song is nicee

2009-10-24T21:04:00.003+08:00

some stuff for girls to read up on =)
how do you differentiate a serious sweetheart from a flirty player? - teens magazine

Serious sweetheart
~ sweet talk - he compliments you sincerely and at the right moments. He may come across as slightly shy and awkward but thats only because he doesnt compliment girls often

~ nicknames - He uses a special endearment for you. This endearment may have a sweet story behind it, or may be related to a special experience you both shared.

~ your family&friends - He wants to meet you friends and family and feels hurt if you dont introduced him to them

~ his family&friends - He is very keen on introducing you to his friends and family. When he introduces you, he holds your hand and proudly proclaims that you're his girlfriend

~ personal space - He is fine with you leaving your stuff in his bad or at his place. Even if there things include cutesy stuffed toys!

~ dates - He often makes the effort to plan dates and is always interested in the outings that you plan. This shows that you are on his list of priorities, and spending quality time with you matters

~ hand holding - He holds your hand lovingly in public

~ phone calls - He calls when he says he will. If he is tied up, he'll at least SMS you because he's afraid that you'll worry

~ friends ratio - He has a healthy mix of guys and girls friends which he hangs out with, and tries to include you as far as possible

~ friends reaction - His friends do their best to make you feel included and ask you about yourself

~ physical intimacy - He respects you emotional wellbeing and deos not pressure you to be physically intimate with him

~ I love you - He waits to say " i love you " and when he does, it is simple and unconditional

the flirty player is just the opp of everything.
so yea,hehe im lazy to typed out everything!haha
oh wells, now i roughly know how to differentiate n playboy from a serious darling
and now i know who played me.

2009-10-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

sigh.
im still stressing if i should change course
crap.i really dont like this.
i dont understand why other ppl's life can be so easy
but mine is like totally fucked
i mean on a average scale.

there's nothing interesting in life.
everything is just a bloody big cycle..

all the disappointments,expectations and wdv shit
its killing me.

i think i shall call up NP tml the course
and get wdv information i need
and hopefully..

2009-10-18T21:49:00.002+08:00

be jealous,
be VERY jealous!
haha i just had a good dinnerr =D
shark fins soup, crab tanghoon,duck feet(which i nv eat),butter prawns and some veg
totally awesome.
but i'd rather you bring me to thai express or akashi
but its still good! =) not complaining =)
just tat i dont really dont how to appreciate shark

school starts tml =(
how sucky

2009-10-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

went for dk training
the sun was freaking &^%$#
got sunburnt -.-" even though i applied like super thick layer of sunblock
oh wells.
im damn shagged now.seriously
after dk went for lunch at the usual
then on the way back, heading towards hb
yong en and i decided to head down to RJ to throw abit
haha.even though we're both damnnn shagged.
but yea.we ended up throwing abit den lying on the field chit-chatting
haha.i swear yong en is a funny guy..haha
but a really nice person to talk to also =D
after that, showered and head down to bishan
he needed to eat dinner so i accompanied him
den i went off to my grandma's hse
and ate prawnnnn meeeee
hmmm aft that went to holland v, bought frolick ice-cream
AWESOMEEE but i prefer the peach flavour compared to strawberry =/
but it was stilll awesomeee ahaha

i hope when school starts,
i can manage my time properly =)

2009-10-15T00:40:00.002+08:00

todays weather was freaking retarded
when i left hse it was damn bloody cold
den when i reached school it was hot like i duno what.haha
i was quite tired for todays training
cause i was feeling quite sick alrdy
and plus all the running -.-
and i duno whats wrong with my left thigh
its like so painful since ytd aft goaltimate and someone hit my thigh damn sharply
oh wells..

YAY!i had "proper" dinner for this week's training! =)
ytd i went to eat macs at hb with joel and qingying
today i ate mos burger at tpy with jordan
i did the " " cause i dont consider fast food as proper
and if possible i would defiantely avoid fast food
well it beats having maggie alone at home =)

im so tiredd..zzz..
thinking if i should go running tml..hehe

i should stop thinking about you
and just let things fall into place
cause its hopeless for a girl to do so much

2009-10-12T20:24:00.001+08:00

sian im so bored that i can actually post so many times in a day
zzz, i hate having black hair..
wdv colour i dye it just doesnt turn out right -.-
irritating.

stupid sore throat
go away right now!roars!

2009-10-12T09:54:00.002+08:00

omg sore throat and fever =(
school is starting next weeeeek!
sian all the work will just start to pile in
i've got to plan my time properly man
im wan to be able to excel both in ultimate and studiess!!
roars..

its funny how you can flirt with other girls
but not with me anymore
everything is a fucking lie
a fucking big lie.

its gona take me some time..
and sometimes i wonder if you even feel anything.

2009-10-11T19:33:00.003+08:00

post transferred to my other blog =)

2009-10-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

OMG
i'm so freaking happy that i duno what to say
CHAMPIONS of GHS baby! =)
awesome or what!

omg i've nv played till so hiong before after so long
that i didnt feel i was myself
all i know is, i just wan to win so badly
so i can prove myself
that im not fucking useless
and what has been taught to me is not wasted

sorry to all that i may seem cocky on the field and stuff
it was just so intense for me and every point counts
so yea.SORRY.lol
i dont wana be labeled as the bitch or something
not like SOMEONE
totally own her in her fucking face.

ben and the seniors say they'll come back stronger
cause we're all like so cocky and stuff
i'd say, bring it on!
they come back stronger,
doesnt mean we cant be even more stronger than what we are now rite
so yea.
LET GROW STRONGER NYP! =D
we will take this years IVP back home
and break the "curse" LOL
4stars baby 4 stars!

woah im so tired now zzz
i think i'll go sleep soon =)

2009-10-09T21:38:00.002+08:00

im so excited for tml's GHS
weeee =)
but i think i've got food poisoning =(
sucks luh.
oh wells.hope that i'll be better by tml

this will be my only chance to prove my worth
to prove that frisbee is not a stupid dog game
and to prove whatever that have been taught, have not gone down the drain

no stupid drops,
no throw aways.
100% focus
and CONSISTENCY

2009-10-08T12:11:00.001+08:00

i felt so left out during ytd's training =(
cause i missed tue training
n unlucky me missed the best training
sigh.

i hope come sat
our team chemistry is there
and everything will just be totally awesome =)

GHS,
NYP reds will own you! =)

2009-10-06T21:17:00.003+08:00

welcome to the family vickky =)
my new baby <3

2009-10-06T12:33:00.002+08:00

i feel useless, unimportant and neglected.
why isit so fucking hard to be happy
i hate this shit seriously

woke up fucking early
to have breakfast with my sisters n mum
den we went to SPCA
wanted to adopt kittens/cat
but the fucking people there like dont wana let us adopt.
nbcb we're alrdy paying to adopt them luh
and its not like we cant give them a better compared to what you are giving them now
locking them up is fucking cages.idiot.

i saw this black cat.
looks and behave like missy =(
it keeps calling for attention and its like " adopt me please, i really want a home "
fuck man.its meows are like so sad =(
i hate it when people say they wana adopt pretty kittens only
like what about the the older cats?
they still deserve a home.they are still cats.
just that they are not young
whats wrong?
and for those cats that do not have beautiful fur,
whats wrong with adopting them!?
they are still cats!

roars.
sigh i dont feel so good now.
my stomach is like so pain.i dont know if i shld go for training
it hurts like *&^%$#@
GHS come on!!

2009-10-05T22:32:00.001+08:00

get well soon baby
=(

2009-10-04T23:22:00.001+08:00

i love this song.
i think chinese songs can portray a much emotional feeling
compared to english songs =/
i duno thats what i think.LOL
maybe cause its the lyrics.

2009-10-04T14:31:00.002+08:00

after ytd's DK training,
had lunch den went straight to ben's hse
with jethro,robin and eliseus
helped to prepare with the party
then slacked and stuff
the rain was a spoiler =/ cause we couldnt set up the BBQ pit
was super tired from making drinks for the people..
zzz cause its quite a distance to walk to take water to make the drink
but okay luh.
otherwise i would feel bad not contributing
and i would be bored.

the party is kinda..a disappointment haha..
maybe cause there wasnt enough alcohol.
but yea..oh wells.

i kinda think, beer can knock me out faster
compared to hard liquor mix with soft drinks
LOL.oh wells.
it kinda got boring after the alcohol finished and
most of the ppl went home..

when it was morning,
we all packed the stuff and took a lift from ben to cck mrt
had breakfast den took my 1hour plus ride back home
hehe i didnt know i had straight bus back =)
and i almost missed my stop cause i was sleeping on the bus
too bloody tired even though i did sleep at the party.ahaha

gona go out for dinner with my mum later.
im still feeling sleep even though i slpt for 3 hours when i came back home.

i'll trade smoking to have you to be happy with me.
seriously, i would.
i love you.

2009-10-03T00:39:00.002+08:00

went out for girls outing.
had picnic at marina barrage.
cool place =)
fun outing
but lousy weather.so bloody hot sia.LOL
outing ended at 4pm+
den i went to sentosa
sorry ivan, was late.LOL
met nana,ruth,clifford and clement.
omg its been AGES since i saw them
missed them lots =(
had a rushy dinner with them.
den they went off =(

i didnt wana take the bus back
cause of all the banglahs
so i waited for my parents to finish their movie.
while waitingg...
i went to buy H2O for tml and sweets and breakfast =)
den i went up to the rooftop to stone for 2.5hours
before meeting my parents again =/

what i did in the 2.5hour was just..
admiring the lousy sea scenery
thinking about stuff
and yea lor.just ......
i saw this couple sitting in front of me..
like the girl suddenly so emo and the guy so quiet..
den aft awhile the guy stood up and walk away
and his facial expression was like " yes, finally no more burden " kind..
den i look at the girl.she cry until so jialiat =(
i feel so sad for her that i cried alittle.
i duno, suddenly the scene of him leaving me..replayed again and again
but like, it was also quite pathetic.
as in, like..she cry so much.the guy also like..dont really care.
sigh.

seriously, jerk.
the girl looks like those shy shy kind and yea..like wont jio guys one..
so is like confirm the guy jio her, den dump her.
like WTF.WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!
sian.i hate that guy.seriously..
i wanted to go to the girl and give her mentos =/
LOL but yea.abit weird.haha..
cause like yea luh you know.but yea.
i feel so sad for her =(
i curse that jerk to die, esp if its for another girl.

this incident made me emo abit luh..
and then....
i suddenly rmb what someone told me
that one of my ex denied that i was his exgf
zzz..
seriously, am i such a embarassment!damn it =(
jerk.nbcb
i'll prove to you that im not
i'll make sure you'll regret saying that im not your ex
when im popular and rich in the futher you'd better not say im your ex.
nbcb.GO AWAY
i'll fucking make sure i'm sucessful in life.

oh wells.enough of yea.
just finish dota-ing with jet
and i think im gona sleep soon..
tml got DK training and party
CONSISTENCY FOR TRAINING!!
oh yes, i've asked my parents to watch me play at GHS
cause cause i really want them to know that
frisbee..is not a fucking dog game
and im serious abt frisbee.

2009-10-01T22:49:00.001+08:00

exactly how many of us can actually did what he did.
i know, honestly i cant do it..
but its something we all must learn..
right?

i love you so much

2009-09-29T11:05:00.002+08:00

i've never loved anyone so much
that i can handle arguments and still have the thought that its worth it.
cause i really want to be with you and make it last..

and seriously.
i duno how else to tell you,
that you are very impt to me.

i'll still wait for you.
the 2 months, that i promised.
i'll prove to you.

2009-09-28T21:32:00.002+08:00

zzz..im bloody tired.
i hope tml can i perform well in training.
what more i have meeting tml at 10.30am T.T
consistency and passion i need you.

sigh.motivation is dying out.
i can feel it =(
its depressing.

i keep thinking if i shld change course to vet biology in NP
sigh.

pros:
-chase my BIG dream
-school nearer to my house
-i have friends in NP

cons:
-leaving my friends
-leaving NYPU
-NP is a big school i dont like.
-waste 1 year
-if change, i definitely must get scholarship and go Australia for further studies

sigh.how now brown cow fow mow.
last time i confirm wont change course because of him
but now..yea.
roars.i hate this.
its not fun.

what more, my other option is..
take night classes.
but if i do that..
i'll be quite stress plus i definitely have to give up frisbee
either way i lose out =(

sian i think my life quite sad.
NA go up express, i lose my friends in NA.
come NYP, i suffer for studies and traveling time plus heartbreak.
den now if i go NP i hv to give up my friends
fuck.im scare.im just fucking scare tat i'll make the wrong decision again =(

cause if i had stayed in NA..
i would defiantely get a better Os results
i would be happier in my sec4 class
i can stay in contact with my friends
i can get into vet biology without any frustrations.
sigh...

i miss you

2009-09-27T23:35:00.001+08:00

i only wish you know how im feeling right now.

2009-09-25T20:22:00.003+08:00

jethro ong jun jie,
i really do love you.
i wish.wishing so hard
i can understand you..
and i can give you what you need
and be there for you when you need me
but, tell me why isit so difficult =(

you gave me back my life
and took it away from me.
every night i cry.
every time i think of you, it hurts.

2009-09-25T20:18:00.003+08:00

overslpt and missed my appointment =(
good thing i was able to get a slot at 3pm later.
otherwise my next appointment will be next month!lol

aft appointment,
met choon.
catch up on each other's life and stuff
watched the movie 9
its horrible dont watch it.LOL
den had dinner at thai express
awesome luh so long nv eat there liao..
and yea came back home.
i duno why but im super tired.

i'll prolly sleep early today
aft dota-ing or mapling for 1 or 2hours.

DK training tml!
=)
consistency baby!

thanks choon,
for today.appreciate it =)

2009-09-23T10:07:00.002+08:00

first msg i saw when i wake up..
is my resultss!lol

Inmolb - A
Physical Chemistry - B
Inorganic Chemistry - B
Math - D+
MicroA - B+
Com skill - B
Food Culture - B

GPA: 3.06

im okay with my results overall.
cause i expected myself to do quite badly =/
im only disappointed with MicroA,Com Skill and Food Culture
which i thought i can get A
oh well.
YAYS no need repeat module = no need change course?
but but..hes not with me anymore =(
sigh

2009-09-22T11:16:00.003+08:00

i've got to stop dreaming abt all the
promises you've made to me
and all the happy moments we spent tgt
cause i know the chances of it coming back..
is so very low =(
and its not helping me to carry on with my life =(

i dread to wake up every morning,
cause its a nightmare to wake up into reality =(

i miss you so so much,
but i dont know if the feeling is mutual for you

they say,
only if the person and relationship meant alot to you..
the heartbreak period will be like hell.
and without heartbreak, people wouldnt treasure love as much and treat it as a passing matter..

oh wells.

2009-09-21T19:39:00.003+08:00

不走 by Alex Toh
挺著胸勇敢的面对呼唏的风
伤心总是带不走痛有时候我觉得自己很没用
沉默完完全全把你放在心中
有太多的话想对你说面对你都说不出口
眼睁睁的看著你离开我我明白你有你的理由
你回头笑笑的看我我心中痛痛的挥手
眼泪在心里流
BABY DON'T GO DON'T GO
HOW CAN I WAKE UP TOMORROW
I FEEL SO SAD I CAN'T TRUST LOVE ANYMORE
BABY DON'T GO DON'T GO
OUR LOVE WILL BE HARD TO FOLLOW
IT BREAKS MY HEART
IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE
我站在这里双手空空大雨下的不知所措
告诉我你在玩我你躲在远处笑我
让我再为你坚持不走

2009-09-21T19:19:00.002+08:00

fuck.
i hate this sudden feeling of emo-ness
it totally sucks

suddenly,
i miss my cat
i miss him
i miss the times when we're tgt

fuck.
my heart hurts more than my ankle
stop mocking me
just stop giving me and snatching it away from me
its not funny
seriously it isnt =(

i dont even feel like doing anything anymore
i dont wana play frisbee
i dont wana study
i dont wana go school
i dont wana live this fucking life anymore.

its so hard.
seriously it is.

i can take anything else
but not anything that got to do with love and disappointment

2009-09-20T13:05:00.002+08:00

just came back from mondster's hse
and did abit of housework.
now im waiting to play dota with jethro.
yes, even though we broke up..
we're still friend
which is good in a way.
cause he is gona be my teammate be it in DK or NYPU
and obviously it still hurts when i see him every time.
but i dont have a choice.
i love him so much that im not giving him up anytime soon.

ytd, i went for DK training
it feels kinda awkward to have 2 of my ex in the same team as me..
but yea im still okay with it =/
oh wells.
i played well today! =) awesomeness
come on, just keep it up..being CONSISTENT =)
and i'll be on my way to be the best youngest player in DK and NYPU
aft the training, we had scrimmage against Freakshow/Shiok.
we lost BUT we put up a good fight cause we didnt have the main squad
plus the team is mostly the younger people and some new comers..
so yea. ALL THE WAY DK! =)
aft that..we went to mondster to swim and slack and drink.so yea.

and now, im having rashes -.-"
damn it.
i shld have controlled myself and not drink
but if i dont drink, wheres the fun!? esp with a group of friends
oh wells.

results are coming out soon!
omg i just hope.
it doesnt make my life feel even more like hell.
otherwise.
im prepared to write a Goodbye Letter to everyone.

2009-09-18T17:17:00.004+08:00

i blame myself for being lousy
and for losing him.

i still cant do without you with being with me =(
even though its only been 3days.

i just hope
i can do well in tml's training.
consistency.

When you are dreaming with a broken heart,
waking up is the hardest part
- John Mayer

2009-09-18T13:56:00.002+08:00

came back from class chalet.
super shag.
it wasnt exactly fun, cause there was very little ppl
but the 1st night was good enough to keep my mind off stuff.
overall, i wld say..
if only we had more people.it'll be fun.
yup thats all.

michelle and ginette
knew i was quite affected abt the breakup
even though i tried to hide it.
and i thought it was okay cause i managed to change my mindset
fast enough for me to concentrate on training..
but come chalet..i guess i kinda let it out abit
so on the 2nd day,
they locked me up in the room and forced me to tell them stuff
and cry it loud.
as in they did it cause they care
and i appreciate it =)
thanks girls =)
at least i know i have friends who bothers to know whats happening in my life
at first..i keep saying i dont wana cry and like im not going to cry
but they keep saying
den i just brust out crying
like for that few seconds
den..the rest was just tearing.
its hard for me to keep crying for even 10mins
i duno how to..plus i think its a waste of time.
im sad, very sad i know
but even if i cry, he wont come back

i duno i guess i was really broken
that i finished almost 3/4 of a pack in 2days.
i thought it wouldnt be very harsh
since i had the feeling it was coming
and i was sort of mentally prepared..
but in the end its the same.
and somehow..everything is like poking fun at me.

after training, when i board the train.
i enter a cabin almost filled with couples...
next when i on my MP3,
my 1st song was Goodbye to you by Michelle branch
2nd song was Losing you by Busted
3rd song was My happy ending my Avril
totally WTF.it was on shuffle mode..sigh..

i guess the next time when im very in love with a guy
and i dream that he'll walked away from me..
i had better prepared for the worse.
cause it isnt the 1st time it happen..sigh.
why cant i dream of him being with me =(

oh wells.
pain pain pain.
i just dont get it.
when im not prepared for a r/s, the guy seems to be so ready
but when im ready, the guy isnt ready.
just wtf is going on!?!
i hate this game
and having to play this game 3times in a row is fucking painful

all i know is..
im fucking scared and broken now
im like losing every thing this period
like slowly one by one..what i hold dear me..just abandon me
and somehow im ready to abandon myself..soon

2009-09-14T19:38:00.002+08:00

some times, no matter how hard you try,
people just dont believe you are giving your best.
=(

the you im refering to, is myself =(
sigh.
i hope tml's training will be good.like wednesday..
consistent.
which is all i need, for now.

2009-09-13T15:24:00.002+08:00

best team.but never win.
big joke!
linkeddd

2009-09-11T13:09:00.002+08:00

its raining..sigh.
if only we stayed closer
things would be easier.
this sucks..

someone told me..
before a relationship starts, the guy will be sweet to the girl, loving her lots..
after they get tgt,in a short period of time, the guy will be less sweet and doesnt express much anymore..you dont hear ILU or IMU as often anymore.
as the relationship continue, the girl will be more in love with the guy and the guy just fall out of love.

i just hope its not true for me n him.
seriously =(

2009-09-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

went out for NYPU girls outing today
after the prayer thingy

bonding was good.
had fun.
i mean we talked about stuff
and told each others' good n bad points
and yea bob and i broke down
i understand why she broke down..and yea

as for me.
its like, i didnt wan the same thing to happen to me in sec school to happen in poly
and wdv i told them..its something i really wana tell the girls ard me
even in secondary school but i just cant..so yea
as in, i dont mean to be defensive..but sometimes you've got to hear my story
i accept all that have been said and im trying to change
and its not like i want to be like this.
its not like i want myself to problem communicating with girls
its not like i want to give the impression to other girls that im flirting
its not like i want to give ppl the impression im not listening to their advice =(
i just cannot express myself.i dont know how to..
and every time i try, it always..always turns out the wrong way.

i mean i really really really do appreciate wdv you girls have told me
cause it shows that you care and want me to change
and i just hope you can understand me.
like REALLY understand me

sigh.oh wells.
someone give me medication to express myself better and have better control of my emotions
like seriously, PLEASE =(

oh wells.
went for movie with elle,bob,gladys and shireen
was suppose to watch up but NO TICKETS!only 1st row plus split.
NO WAYY.so we watched dance flick instead.
its a funny movie luh but not what i wld watch in theatres.

i still wana watch UP!
ohoh theres a new dance movie coming up too.
im definitely gona watch that no matter what.
the preview was awesomeee! =)

2009-09-05T10:12:00.003+08:00

you have no idea how much i love you baby.
and i get the feeling,
somehow you dont love me as passionately as before.
i dont know what to tell you when you say you have no confidence to keep me
i dont wana be like your ex..
who say shell stay and in the end leave
i will confirm tell you i will stay by you no matter what..
if only i know we're really meant to be.
but even you got the feeling that somehow we're not meant to be
i really dont know how to feel or think abt it.
but all i know is, i really love you and i really need you in my life

even though your way of expressing your love to me isnt exactly any girl wld want.
but its okay.i dont mind you not being romantic cause i know you dont know how to..
and its not your way of doing stuff
i know you dont like watching movies and eating out..
which is completely different from me
but i still love you and i want you.
i know you dont like to hit the beach
which is completely different from me
but i still love you and i want you.

you helped me get back my old self.
you make me look at things on the bright side
you taught me how to enjoy life
you constantly reminded me that r/s is always give and take
you make me wana excel in frisbee and in studies, so we can graduate tgt
you are my motivation.
you are my love.
you are my baby.

you have no idea how impt you are to me
you really have no idea..

i just wish,
we stayed closer tgt
than we can spend time tgt every now and then..
i just wish,
we have more things in common
than we can enjoy each others' company..
i just wish,
i can tell you all this
and hope you understand than our r/s wld be a better one..

2009-09-05T00:13:00.003+08:00

went out in the morning with my parents
to buy some stuff
came home, dota with mike,his friend and baby..
aft that went to take a nap..
was super tired.duno why
den i watched naruto and bleach.
all those that i've missed since before common test started.
..roarss

sigh i duno what to do tml..
should i go for DK outing at sentosa den go my grandma's hse?
or shld i just go my grandma's hse
sian.i really duno sia.

all i know, i just wana spend time with him tml..
but cannot.

somehow,
i dont feel as attached to DK as to NYPU
honestly, speaking...
i dont know how to interact with people..
okay maybe im just not comfortable with them yet
but i duno luhh..
roars, i dont hv a gf in NYPU or DK =(
like no one to go training with me, hang out with aft that..
have some girl talks n stuff..
oh wells =(
loner

2009-08-31T21:17:00.002+08:00

super super tired.
slpt at 3.30am ytd
cause i was playing dota with baby =)
he is freaking hell damn good.
oh wells.

woke up in the morning, like 7am!
yea exactly like my timing to go school sia -.-
and i thought its the holidays..
suppose to sleep in and stuff..
haha but give and take =)
went to meet baby at clementi mrt
head down to NP
den like play toss and stuff
I NEED TO CORRECT MY BACKHAND THROWS!
yupp.
every time i throw its OI so irritating
lucky got baby to play toss with me
allowing me to adjust and get use to the new throwing way
thanks for your patience darling!
than i accompanied him to his sec school at sbw =O
far i know, but what to do.
give and takee =)

i just hope when i keep practicing on my backhand,
i wont lose my forehand throws.
zzz why cant i have proper training right from the start when i even know abt ultimate?
tsk.its like so bloody hard to change now.

for backhand i need to change:
1)the way i release the disc, its like my wind up is too big for a very short distance
2) OI, i sort of can do OI and IO but not STRAIGHT throws.so yea.need to practice

for forehand i need to change:
1) my grip, 3fingers to 2fingers
2) the way i release the disc, got alittle chicken wing.

OMGGGGG sian.
basic not there means everything else also useless =(

COME ONNNN
i willl get it back.
i will FLOWER-POTTING GET IT BACK!!!

2009-08-30T23:07:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 1 MONTH BABY! =)

all those that i need to tell you,
i've alrdy wrote it down in that card..
so yea..
I LOVE YOU BABY! =)

hmm, went out with him.
duhhh..LOL..
was suppose to meet at 2pm but we both overslpt.hehe
den we met at dhoby at 4.30pm instead
erm..i was late.hehe.sry darling
den we went to seragoon
cause i thought there got shopping center =(
but its like all HDB buildings only..
seragoon shopping centre was at kovan.
cheat my feeling sia.
tsk tsk
went to bishan..pierced my ear and his pierced his.
omg looks hotter with his piercing now. =)
not that he isnt hot before.
okay.i just have a thing for guys who look good with a single ear piercing

thann we went off to slack at somewhere..
stupid luh got this stupid *&^%$#&^banglah tried to steal my bag.
arsehole. I DONT LIKE YOU!ROARSS!!
but seriously, if he stole my bag..
he picked on the wrong victim.
cause eitherway that old *&^%$ banglah wld get chased down either by me or my bf
how the hell can we not outrun him.
ridiculous.
haha.oh wells.stupid loser
lucky i was observation enough..
i swear it was damnn close.
oh wells.

im still in a state of shock.i admit.
cause the way the creep up to steal my bag was like a freaking 7th month ghost thing
you know..like black figure,crawling slowly..except for the cigrate bud.
tsk tsk.
ahhh.^%$%$
exactly like what my sister said
how can we not hate them when they do such stuff that people hate.
makes sense..but yea.
oh wells.tsk.

2009-08-28T23:26:00.002+08:00

YAY! exams are finally over
funny thing is, it doesnt feel like exams are over.
i still feel like as though i've got another paper to sit for =/
oh wells.
time to enjoyy!

stuff to look forward to:
1)trainings!
2)chalet
3)spend more time with him
4)catching up with old friends???
5)chilling out!! =)

2009-08-23T18:33:00.002+08:00

i swear, poly exams are such a pain in the arse!
!@#&^%$#@!@$%%$#

i had better not get anymore Cs or Ds
otherwise i'll kill myself
for putting in so much effort n still getting sucky results.
to hell with lifescience math and phychem.

2009-08-15T16:31:00.002+08:00

waking up late is so not me.
lol..slpt at 2.40am+ this morning and woke up at 1.30pm?
haha..gosh.i feel like a pig now.

got to start studying soon
exam is in a week time!OMGGG!
it feels like O level all over again
only thing,
i'm feeling super insecure and dumb cause i dont know most of my stuff well
oh wells.
got to study hard now
and
enjoy later!!
2weeks to freedom baby! =)
awesomenesss

i seriously cant wait for the
class BBQ and chalet.
i hope everything will be fun! =)
even though my class isnt THAT fun
but i hope i'll enjoy myself either way.

BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!BBQ!
CHALET!CHALET!CHALET!CHALET!CHALET!CHALET!

hehe.excited..
oh yes and back to intensive training =)
FRISBEE!FRISBEE!FRISBEE!FRISBEE!FRISBEE!FRISBEE!FRISBEE!
NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!NYPU!
DK!DK!DK!DK!DK!DK!DK!DK!DK!

okay shall stop spamming now.
oh yea..i just realized that my english deproved ALOT
cause of someonee...lalalala~
hahah jkjk X)
oh wells.study break is meant for mugging.
soooo see ya people!gona study now...
hopefully it'll be productive ^^

all the best MB0902
MUG HARD =)
even though i know you guys will..
all the darn muggers/smart arses...
LOL

i miss you baby!

2009-08-13T00:42:00.002+08:00

there are so many things i wana say,
but i cant put them in words.

honestly,
i really feel broken.
with the stress from studies..
and losing out in frisbee
and my class ahem so sucky..
they are really so &^%$^% that i practically ignore them alrdy
unless i really have to talk to them or if they kaobei me or my friends
if they did kaobei me or my friends(infront of me), i'll make sure they pay for it..
i dont know how im gona do it, but i'll just make sure they regret being such a irresponsible jerk.
its not like i've never been a bitch before,
i did and i can say im extremely good at it..
conflicts?its my game..but when im in the mood to make someone suffer..
but yea....oh and!
my cat that had been missing for a week alrdy =(

sigh,
its like history repeated itself once again.
exactly like when i was in sec2,
2 weeks before my exam my cat went missing
and after that my exam
i found out she got hit by a car
and flower-pot the bloody idiot who did it to her didnt even own up.
like COME ON the whole estate knows that only my house owns 2cats
which we allow them to roam ard.
stupid stupid.roarss

and now, my cat is missing!(my other cat)
it was like so sudden.
the house is like so much quieter.
i cant stand it.
i miss her meows, her blur look and everything about her!
flower-pot. please tell me is is okay
i want her back.
i want her back now, more than anything else.
she is like a younger sister to me..
even though she is just a cat
but she's been with me for 5 years!

argh shit.
i cant take it.
its like i wana cry out loud, but i cant..
cause i dont know if she is still alive or dead
even if she is dead, i wana see her body
damn it. why?seriously..why

does life really have to work this way?
give and take
by giving her away, what do i get?
good grades?like what happened in sec 2?
giving me the choice, i rather have average grades rather den have good grades for her to come back home.

sigh, im feeling really really broken now.
my whole family act as though she doesnt exist at all
or maybe they are just hiding their emotions..
argh.wdv i dont care.
the feeling is just really horrible..
when you wana cry but you cant.
having to always pretend everything is okay, putting on a fake smile
be it at home or outside..
sigh.if she is dead.i'd rather to know the truth now rather den to wait so long for the news.
sigh wdv.
must not let this affect my studies.maybe i'll cry after my exams.
like have a emotional breakdown or something..
im bottling up too much stuff.

well....
at least,
i still got jethro =)
thanks baby.

im tired and yea wdv.
need to study for inmolb test tml.
lesson at 8am.
fuck.tml is a busy busy day

2009-08-11T18:50:00.002+08:00

back from hongkonggg alrdy =)
i swear i think i lost weight instead of losing weight
haha..
the amount of time spent on walking is more than the calories i had consumed.
haha X)
esp when the weather there is sooo bloody hot.

Day one,
arrived at hongkong airport,
took a bus to the hotel and slacked in the room for awhile
den we head out for lunch and shopping at the shopping mall next door
after that we went to the "flea market"
so many stuff sia..
but my legs felt like they were gona break
im not used to all these walking..
my mum wanted to find the porridge stall
so we walked and walked SOME MORE..i was supere irritated and tired.
in the end we gave up finding and eat some other food

Day two,
if i remember correctly,
we went to ocean park.
its a theme park..
honestly, after going to gold coast Australia, disney land..
the rides there were like..no kick.
lol.but yea.
it was fun...in a way.
by the end of the day, my legs were like soo pain man.
the uphills and downhills.
roars.ahaha..
came back to the hotel and went to the "flea market"

Day three,
went to sit cable car to see the giant Buddha
so cool sia.the bottom of the cable car
is like transparent.so nice =)
after reaching that place, did some sight seeing
den went to shop at the shopping mall near the cable car
=) i love shopping.
came back and went to the "flea market" AGAIN ..lol

Day four,
went to the airport in the morning
and did some final shopping =)

i had fun.
but im damn tired.

after i came back home,
went to meet him at jurong east.
i was suppose to study with him..
but i end up day-dreaming
sigh.oh wells.

2009-08-06T21:48:00.002+08:00

FINALLY
inmolb project work is OVER! =)
one big burden off my shoulder =D
and im quite proud of my class =)
seriously, like first time we did something well as a class
okay..excluding some people.which i dont really care as long as they dont bother me or my friends
so yea.
well done MB0902!! =)

but now im still flower-potting stress
cause im leaving tml morning at 7.30am
means..
1) i'll miss out inorg revision lecture!!
2) i cant go for the NE celebrations = i may have to go myself next time
3) cant spend time with him

sucks luh.damn sway
why must my parents bring us to hongkong this week?
like when i come back..
i've got to doo
tuesday:
1) inorg chem report
2) microA report

wed:
3) Phychem thermo test
4) Phychem radioactivity and electro tutorial

thursday:
5)IMB final test
6) FC poster presentation/revision

friday:
7) FC test

omgomg.flower-potting stress.
plus my cat is missing!for 2days alrdy =(
i seriously hope history wont repeat itself..
otherwise i cant just say good bye to my results
cause i definitely cant concentrate
FUCK! =(
its like when i was in sec2 having my final year exam luh.
fuck fuck fuck.
please come back missy! T.T
i hate how things are now
seriously i do.

i hate my results
i hate how my frisbee standard drop
i hate staying so far from him
i hate the idea of going for a "holiday" when its 1-2weeks till exams
i hate exams
i hate this situation now
and
i hate making him feel uneasy with my moody attitude...
im so sorry baby.
=(

2009-08-05T01:33:00.002+08:00

not enough sleeppp..sigh
was like gona fall asleep anytime today.
had math lecture today.
after which,
our whole class stayed to do inmolb project work
and we all have to skip our lunch =(
like maybe getting small bites or something
but it totally sucks man
i had gastric and it hurts bad bad badly.
went for phychem practical and yea
freaking hell, our last prac is like sooo long
we ended at like 5plus!
when its suppose to be 4 =(
aft tat we gathered as a class and discuss about the inmolb thingy again
sian.

tml,
we've got to meet up aft math test to make the props and rehearse the skit
seriously, i HATE project works.
its the worse.cause its time consuming and everybody needs to work tgt
and it sucks when ppl in the grp doesnt.
cause its like their laziness have cause the others their grades.like NOT fair.
okay enough of my complaining.

stayed back in school
with chel,ginette and greg
to study math..
okay not really but yea.
THANKS MICHELLE FOR TEACHING ME MATH =)
seriously i think she is the best
throughout this few months,
she've been helping me alot.
i seriously duno what to do w/o her help
thanks alot michelle! =)

stayed till 9pm
waited for him.
den went off tgt.
sad, why cant we stay nearer to each other..
at least we can go back home tgt.
oh wells.

waited for my sis at hb
for like so flower-potting long.
&^%$#&^% but okay luh.
i appreciate her fetching me home.

tired.
math test tml.
OH MY FLOWER-POT
but...
trainging tml! YESH =)
finally

2009-08-02T13:46:00.002+08:00

I aim,
to excel in my studies
and to be selected as one of captain in NYPU
(even though i know this part abit not possible cause its usually guys who are capts.SEXIST!roars but im still aiming for it anw)

i just need to bloody hell be smart
and
i can focus on frisbee

come on ralene,
for the sake of yourself and for him.
work your ass off and be smart!

2009-08-02T01:05:00.005+08:00

was suppose to meet ivan at hb at 1plus
but i decided to go jean yip at clementi with my sis
cause i've got a feeling tat he'll take a long time
and my mum have been nagging at me abt my hair..
like not taking care of it, tat its dry and keep dropping..oh wells
did hair treatment, trim n thin-ed
but wth my hair now like ah lian style sia
ugly shit.not hot lei! haha X) joking
sigh, lucky he doesnt mind..haha
anw my six sense was right.lol
ivans training ended at 2pm.so yea -.-
i had to wait for abt an hour plus before he can reach clementi
den can like study for a while only before meeting jet.
but like.not really worth..waste 1 hour+ on waiting den yea.
so i decided to just meet jet aft ivan told me he just ended at 2pm -.-
oh wells.
went to west mall den to boon lay cause we couldnt find a nice quiet place to study
i think singapore is really lousy
no conducive place for ppl to study sia.
oh wells.
chiong CS presentation and microA report and phychem report NOW!

my handsome/cute bf =)

loves many much

2009-08-01T01:49:00.000+08:00

2009-07-31T12:24:00.002+08:00

Boy,
you got me wondering, loving.

=)

2009-07-27T23:40:00.003+08:00

wtf my sister just cursed me to be even more sick
just she saw me viewing the killer fungi video.
fucking bitch.roars
stupid luh its not like fungi is not in my microa topic
it IS! plus its interesting
and the video is less den 10min it wont kill me what.stupid

sigh totally not in a good mood
like keep getting sick
and now is really not a good time to fall sick
esp with all these project work,assignments and exam
tsk.GO AWAY =(

anyway this was the video i was watching
its totally like AVP
fucking scary.
imagine consuming the cordyceps den the next day got fungi growing out of ur head =/

you know how i feel,
its just that i dont know now.

2009-07-23T23:34:00.002+08:00

wana know some funny stufff?ahaha
the four of us have been labeled
michelle- cool
kaiyun- sexy
ginette- cute
ralene- hot.
HAHA omg hilarious.
eh but im hot X)
thank you thank you thank you!haha
okay apparently my brain is not functioning well
i wonder if the antibiotics is really working ahaha

flower-pot
so many project work to hand in.
screwww.
go awayy.. =(

2009-07-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

TEAM FOX!
CHAMPION BABY! =)

super tired now.
i think i injured my right thigh
freaking pain.roars

oh yes,
SORRY MIKE BLACK FOR SHOUTING AT YOU!
im sorry im sorry im sorry! =(

oh wells..
my back hurts damn badly
like whenever i stand or walk
its like $%$&*&^%
got to see the doctor on sat.

and YES..
my very first F
F for... FLOWER-POT
sigh. F for my math common test.
seriously.. $^%$&^%$
demoralized.seriously
its like giving me green light to quit poly now.
sigh.
i duno how the flower-pot am i suppose to burn mid-night oil every night
to study..to STUDY
like even Os i didnt burn much..only for art.like 3days only
how to do it for 1month!?
esp for math!?!? i'll just die
and like the bloody infection on my head is not giving me enough problem..
its like giving me a headache..like seriously i cannot think properly
plus it hurt.ROARS

sucks luh.
8am class tml.
eeeekkks!

i so happy but also demoralized
sigh.
being the last in class is totally not funny

no more frisbee.

2009-07-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

went to stay over at ivans hse last night
cause its only a 10min bus ride away frm np
not like my hse..1hour plus zzzz
seriously why dont i have straight bus to any school?tsk

anws.
my team did win anything
cause we got into pool B
cause we played like %$#@$% in the first to games
like SERIOUSLY
and i think its partly my fault.
keep dropping disc =(
fed-up with myself.seriously
but after awhile, we played better
trashed the teams in pool B hehe

seriously i duno wtf is wrong with that group of guys wearing blue
its like i walk pass them den they were like
" woah that girl's face damn red. "
i was walking to the toilet to change my shorts
den when i walk pass them again, they said
" see see that girl's face damn red, like her shorts colour..eh why she change her shorts.."
like wtf is your problem.
my face red also not your problem -.-"
as in i just dont like the way they say it like..
its like they gave the " despise " tone
ah but wdv.i think they are soccer players or something..
doesnt mean girls cant wear soccer shorts dude.
ah wdv.

all i know,
i enjoyed myself today
cause at least i get to play with my friends whom i havent played with since i joined DK n NYP
i think even though i m in a club n NYPU..
i shld also spend some time with my old friends
cause they were the ones that taught me what is frisbee
and help me improve when i was lousy..
helped me to a standard whereby i got spotted by ben
otherwise, i dont even think i wld be in DK or NYP
i wld be in NP or something.
cause before DK i didnt even know NYP existed =/
LOL oh wells.so yeaa
i will never throw them aside because of yea.
but at the same time i'm also loyal to DK n NYPU also luh.
DUHHHH~ its just tat i will have to spend some time with my old friends =)

got to go stupid bishan library at 11 tml..
for CS project which is due on monday
seriously, flower-pot.
i really wanted to sleep in late den chiong on the tutorials
but yea =( stupid flower-pot.
why the flower-pot did i choose NYP seriously, its like so far
and all my friends stay to flower-potting far.
seriously, not funny.
its getting so bloody irritating.
bishan library at 11 means
waking up at 9am
9am!!!9am!!9am!!

ok im grumpy n tired.

oh i went to my grandma's hse for my cousin's birthday
and i saw my cousin's old maid
she came back aft 6years!!
omg omg i was super excited
i mean me n her goes all the way back man.
like if she stayed on, her years in sg will almost be the same at my maid..
give and take 1or 2 years.
my maid is with me for 10years alrdy i think more than that..but yea.
ahhhh~ =)
super happy to see her
whats funny is that she didnt believe it was me when she saw me
cause of my short,brown hair..and me being "skinny" n tann
so yea.haha
but she like damn funny, hugged me to tight and didnt wana let me go
den aft that she kept talking abt the past
like last time when i was still damn small n all ahah.
funny luh she..
missed her many many much much.
if my maid were to do the same thing i think when i see her i'll just cry
10years lei.how tight is it man!

oh wells.gtg off to bed soon..

im happy for the game today,
im happy that i managed to irritate that girl even though i didnt manage to face her on the same field, but i pissted her off by being a active sideline to ivan's team.like exposing her positions and all..ehehe.in your face *beach who ask you to kaobei me during that pungol competition.doesnt mean you wear skins n u r from -- means you are like damn good.sure your throws are better den mine.but my spirit of the game is definately better than yours!at least i hv good sportmanship.
talkin abt skins,
i finally did a proper layout! =)
super funn hehe awesomeness dont even need skins can.
and im happy i bonded with my old friends =)
and lastly, im happy i went to my grandma's hse..
found a old treasure and yea, mingled ard with my relatives
i actually miss them alot.

project works n tutorial,
here i come =/

i think i injured my back.
it hurts whenever i move. =(

2009-07-16T22:00:00.002+08:00

seriously,
im damn tired and irritated about tml's food culture test.
its totally wtf luh.
sigh.@#$#^$##&^%&%^%$
im just looking forward to sat's competition =)
and hoping that my layouts and hucks will be there on that sat
to kill off the other teams.ahem esp that team.
i think i kinda gave them the impression that im a pushover
cause of the ponggol competition.
i'll freaking prove them wrong!
watch me out beat those wanabes X)
esp that fking girl.i'll make sure she'll run till she die
yea trash talk.haha.but seriously
i dont care, i want to win on sat's competition so so so badly
and stuff the gold medal in their faces or rather in HER FACE.

anws,
went for dinner with
chel,g n greg
loves the dinner session man =)

oh yea,dont mind me,
just let me spam cause ive been keeping this for along while..
i freaking seriously hate guys,
who keep asking me the same thing or make me repeat myself.
its @#$@% sorry but i hate repeating myself
are you so desperate that you have to ask my friend abt me
and please you got a gf alrdy.
fucking hell.so what if you say im hot.
that doesnt mean i MUST talk to you online
and you are attached you bloody jerk.
stay loyal to her n stop trying to talk to me,
cause i dont waste my time on losers like you
who are just fucking desperate
or maybe cause you think you got a hot girl friend(as in friend),
you'll be more popular or wdv..
just fucking get a life loser.seriously.
not funny at all.
and i HATE guys,
who make use of people just to get close to the girl they like
and fuck, im not your fucking toy.
seriously, im giving you fucking alot of face alrdy
by not making a big fuss over it n telling everyone your motive
and i know all those outings are organised and im invited because
you guys only wana see that certain people and they wont go unless we(extras) go.
come on, im not stupid..
there are many things that i know, only thing i act as if i dont
dumb shits.

im @#$#^%$#$$#$^$%& tired and #$%^&%$#$%$^ moody =(
cause i seriously need to sleep
and a break from fucking poly.
too much project works that this isnt called life anymore

and fuck my internet.irritating

study now.

&
i feel its starting to fade.
and im thinking, im not meant for this kind lifestyle

2009-07-15T18:19:00.003+08:00

im so proud of myself.
i figured out the bloody html code for the blogskin
for the stupid microA shit
and modified it.YAYS!
like come on for a IT noob like me,
its a bloody big achievement =)
esp when the html code is so different from my current skin,
i got lost in that html world.
once again, YAY to me!ahah
back to microA report =/
i havent even study for food culture yet!
omg,omg,omg,omg

5weeks to exam?
@#$%^&*#$%^&*

2009-07-15T16:48:00.001+08:00

no mood to study =(
i wana play frisbee =(

2009-07-14T23:33:00.002+08:00

im so happy with myself today
for today's trng =)
my 1st proper "layout" aft how many freaking months
and go-2 drill was awesomely tiring
i've nv had this feel for so long that i actually forgot whats it like.
i think i shld sleep early every time =)

my mum says ive not been smiling whenever i come home anymore
like the smiling ralene is gone..
she always she me sulking or moody.
i tell you why.
first,
my normal boring self, always seem like im moody.but actual fact.I AM NOT
second,
i always only come home and do homework/project/study,how to smile
three,
i dont really have the habit of smiling.
fourth,
theres nth really to be happy abt at home, unless i get to have a proper nite rest.
so yea..oh wells.

im happy today =)
i hope i continue to improve and not stop here again.
LETS GO RALENE!=)

but oh, im not going trng tml =(
study food culture =(
stupid elective,a complete waste of my precious time.

2009-07-11T00:00:00.002+08:00

i really love DK and NYP ultimate.
like seriously.
but its like..
i duno luh.i dont wana give up both of them
but like i also wana join competitions with my outside friends
=( i dunnoo
why cant things be simple as it shld be?
sigh =(
i miss those times
whereby i knew what i was doing
and when i was playing with the hunger for the disc
and when i had the freedom to do anything..
cause now im like
walking ard aimlessly,
forcing myself to play frisbee, forcing the hunger to come back to me
cause i really want it back badly =(
and like now i have so much work to do n my parents are getting more n more naggy
and im falling sick so easily every now and than..

freak luh.
i need more than just this.

2009-07-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

sigh.
when everyone find the test paper do-able
i dont.
i mean i know the test paper isnt difficult
its just..i cant do it.
i duno wth is wrong with me.
i need like a miracle.like some stuff to make me smarter.
nonetheless..
im mentally prepared..
to be sent to shatec.or however u spell it.i dont care
or, to give up frisbee =(
to give up as in, to stop completely so i can study
and my life wld be..
school, home, study and prolly i'll get tuition for math or smthing.
sigh.whyyyyy am i so dumb.
they say in this world there are no such thing as dumb people,
only lazy people.
its totally bullshit!
im a living proof!just wait for the results.
i did study, but yea.just see my results uh.
sigh, i know im not stupid..
its just tat, im not textbook smart can.
oh but..im not exactly streetsmart either =/
ah okay, i'll just admit im stupid in every way.

anw
im just happy,
they postpone the food culture test
till next week =)
yay me, more time to study for it.
and more time to complete my assignments!sigh.
hate that word..
ASSIGNMENTS

7weeks more till exam.
freak man.
i seriously duno how im gona do for it.
its like, even common test im struggling..
i cant imagine exam.
i think i'll just sit there n think of how im gona face my parents
poly is @$%^%&&$ irritating.
im still not used to how things are in poly.
ahhh.sigh.
i shld have just gone to ite or study private
but i dont think it'll make any difference.

im freaking moody now
cause math paper is tml
and im seriously, not prepared =(
like seriously SERIOUSLY
esp when its my weakest weakest subject..
uhhh.this amount of pressure can just force me to do stupid now.
screw it man.
hate failing.seriously freaking hate to fail.
but i just cant freaking focus on revising..
after being super demoralised for the phychem and inorg paper
i think im currently : why do i need to study when i know im gona fail alrdy.might as well just play.
sigh.im freaking weak.

yay, i didnt use any bad bad vulgarities!
even though im freaking $%^&^%$ now.
sigh.

2009-07-06T21:02:00.002+08:00

i swear, im so tired now i can just lie on my bed n sleep
zzz..
didnt sleep the whole night ytd
or rather, couldnt.
not because i was stress or studying but yea
its because of my performance in frisbee
sigh.
its like, im seriously trying very hard..
but it always back fire and give ppl the impression tat im not trying hard enough
sigh.wth is happening to me.
screwed up man.

oh wells.
microA test was fairly okay.
now i panic for phychem
like seriously.
i have no idea how to study for it..
i mean, memorizing formulas n definitions..
den what?i just cant do the qns.
even though i tried.sigh.
its just cannot do.i duno why!
AHH~
i wana sleep now =(

and its like after common test week
ive got totally no break at all.
cause i've got to hand in
1) phychem report
2) microA report
3) phychem tutorial
-e-learning
-chemical kinetics 2
4) inorganic tutorial
-e-learning
-periodic table 2
5) CS draft report
6) Food culture presentation
7) Food culture poster

woah omg. T.T
someone, help me.seriously!

2009-07-05T22:37:00.003+08:00

my maid just pass me n my sis a slab of meat
and like ask us to cook it ourselves
cause she was cooking spaghetti sauce
im soo happy that i prepared my own lunch X)
haha of cuz with a little help from my maid..
cause its been so so so long since i prepared a dish myself.
my sis cooked like a meat stew
or rather like the chinese style so she can eat with rice
and i decided to have a steak for lunch! =)
cause i didnt feel like eating rice or noodles.
and i did found some nice stuff to go along with it like,
dried mushrooms,broccoli, potatoes n onions!
=) perfect!hehe so yup.
im quite satisfied with my meal
hehe cause at least its not like burnt or anything den..
i decided to head down to wcp
cause of my stupid neighbour's dog. stupid dogs,
keep whining n whining!
like from morning 8am till evening..roars
they whine n cry, i also whine n cry cause i totally cant concentrate studying at all
esp when its 2 bloody dogs!
oh wells. it started to pour at wcp,
and i decided to like just play a frisbee game X)
hehe i know im suppose to be studying
but before i head down to the field,
i did went to find seats but i couldnt get any so yea..
i decided to join ivan they all at the field.. aft afew point,
i felt guilty n i tried to study in the rain.
attempt failed.miserably..
ahaha and it started to rain cats n dogs
so yea everybody just went to macs for dinner.
and i stayed on to continue to study after they all left.
and woah its my 1st time studying outside ALONE!
felt alittle uncomfortable.but its okay luh
left macs at 9.50pm.

microA, please be nice to me tml.hehe X)
i really did put in effort to memorise you
i just hope you dont slaughter me tml..

oh yea, ivan bought a yellow msia disc for me!
haha how nice of him =) thanks IVAN!
yay i got another disc now!
but i doubt i'll use it.
cause its msia disc n its shinyyyy ahaha
oh wells, back to studying

abit messy but yea

yummy eh!XP

2009-07-04T13:56:00.002+08:00

ive been searching for that missing piece in my life
till now, that i've decided to stop searching.
i've decided,
i'll just live my life and not let anything affect my way of life
meaning,
i wont let anything tie me down.
no smoking,
no boyfriends/girlfriends(im just saying, not that im les -.-)
and whatever rubbish
it'll just be me,studies,frisbee and friends.
im just scare..
that once i decided to ignore the distractions
i'll regret.
which will always happen,
because it always does..

sometimes i hate myself for falling in love,
it spoils me.
and i need more than just time itself to get me back.

i just need to try..

i cant find that song on the radiooo!
roars!

2009-07-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

went to study at bishan library with mike
met ky,michael,greg n g at the library too =)
hmm aft tat went for lunch at LJS
den we went back to the library to study
zzz..freakning tired.hate studying.seriously
but its the only way to keep him off my mind
seriously, to stop smoking is so so much easier
compared to accepting him as a friend.
oh wells, im happy i revised thru 2chpts of phychem
even though i duno what the heck its abt...
at least i tried luh.
just hope i can get pass with a lightly better grade compared to average
sigh, i swear im freakning jealous
of my classmates.
they can do last min study and definately do well in the coming test..
i feel dumb, seriously.
its like i study so much and i think i'll only just pass?
i duno luh..it reminds me of Os.freakning shit.
sigh.pathetic.oh wells.
had subway for dinner! =D awesomenesss
with mike,chris n nic...
and i officially give up on looking for a suitable dress for me to wear to school.
haha.i think i'll just stick to shorts n shirt..
cause my freakning figure is so not suitable for a dress
or wdv fancy clothing
seriously man..sigh
got no figure,lousy complexion,short,dumb..what else eh.

OH WELLS..
somehow i just wanted to type tat..
and i know it makes me sound emo n wdv
but im in quite a happy mood now..
weird, yea i know.
I WANT EAT YOGURT! =)
and oh yea, somehow, went i walk into the arcade after dinner
and saw this toy, it reminded me of joel tan.
not like it looks like him..but yea.just some memories.

cant wait for time to fly now
even though i know im not prepared for the tests
i still wana just do the bloody test n carry on with life..
life as in, normal lesson + frisbee trainings
oh wells..

hey its the start of the end of the world!
4th july 2009.
Chris told me that.hehe

2009-07-02T01:34:00.002+08:00

omg can

i should give up singing.
what am i talking abt, i've alrdy stopped singing..haha

2009-07-01T21:29:00.002+08:00

overslpt today
cause it rained in the morning..
super shiok =)
its been so long since i had a proper 4hours of sleep
why 4 hours cause i couldnt really sleep till like 7plus
sigh.

i swear,
i'll win the dumbest award in my class
i really duno how to do the math e-learning assignment
that have to be submitted
TODAY, like nowww..lol
sigh.
and the textbook isnt really helpful at all.
i've decided to give up on math for awhile
cause michelle says she'll try to teach me when she comes back home
and finish up microA
yes..up till now i have finish microA YET

not sure if i shld go out to study tml
with ky, some of my classmates n other ppl from MB 0904
(which i totally duno them at all)
im just scare we might end up
chit-chatting again -.-"
but i dont think we'll chit-chat in the library..rite..
either way, woodlands is damnnn far
zzz...its like i duno ahaha the other end of the world for me.
oh wells.
this is what happens when you go to a school tat is freaking far..
you make friends tat stay freaking far too..

i think i've got this thing for guys who plays frisbee darn well
ok not darn well
but can tell they are playing their best.
i duno luh, they just leave a freaking attractive..hmmm..opinion?i duno whats the right word
but yea,
to me they are freaking attractive =)
oh and if they can go push-ups correctly,
double hotness X)
oh wells.
hot guys with a nice character,
dont exist.
ok they do, but sometimes they are taken
or just not bf material.
so i think i can just keep dreaming abt them in my lala land..lols
or maybe i'll just go to robin's sec school X)
uh opps.ahaha

2009-07-01T00:50:00.003+08:00

okay im like super stress now so
wdv u read..its just yea..
just for me to spam n yea..you knowww...
and i sort of "cancelled" all the spamming so yea.my blog wont be so emo
hehe.but yeaa

as much as i hate school,
(but i loves the girls in my class ^^ , not the guys.tsk)
i seriously hate e-learning more than anything else..
even rejections and being irritated
seriously, for a IT noob like me...e-learning is fucking hell
i duno wtf im suppose to do
even if i know, im still darn blur..zz..
sometimes i just wana kill technology..

went out to watch transformers
with the frisbee ppl..
mike,nic,elle,jamal,shireen,wanyu,nat n jasper
the movie is not bad luh..quite funny n exciting
next movie i wana watch is the ice age 3
but i doubt i hv any time to watch it
cause i hv freaking hell alot of project work to hand in..
like one after another
and oh yea, i havent even touched on phychem, math n food culture yet.
fuck.im screwed.like seriously
aft the movie, went to eat dinner at marina
den slack at the esplan rooftop
chit-chatted and stuff.
i just wished time cld just slow down at tat point of time

[emo part]
sigh..
seriously i wonder when is the turning point of my life
when will things start to get better
i mean it totally sucks to know
you've got stuff to hand in like TML
and when you duno how to do it AT ALL...
i seriously, just wana drop out of school
i have like completely no purpose at all..
even if i get a diploma in my course, so what.
not say i can get into uni..
even if i can, whats the point when i cant even study what i want in singapore..
i also cant study overseas cause my parents cant afford it..
so whats the point.
and like even if i get a bloody degree,
like many other female scholar..i'll end up being a housewife.
seriously, whats the point.
sigh.
so tempted to just walk out on life.
[end of emo part]

to all those that keep asking me to stop smoking..
i said i'll stop smoking means i'll stop
so dont worry.
just got to finish the pack first X)
and no worries, its only 2 sticks left cause my sister finished 1/2 of it -.-"

some times i just wish
life can be like Sims
i can like just control the situation and make things go the way i want it to.
den life wld be a breeze..
literally.lol
ohoh!
i suddenly rmbed , jasper saying " i like black cocks "
so guys.ahemmm...haha
super funny, i suggest using glow in the dark condoms
i mean black ahems and glow in the dark condoms
is a pair what right! X)

oh wells.
sleep now.
like NOWWW.. =(

2009-06-28T20:20:00.003+08:00

seriously today, captaining was stressful.
but overall okay luh.
just hope i was a good captain
i didnt really dare to scold the them
cause i scare they cant take it
but it seems like majority of the captains did fuck them upside down
oh wellss..
i dont even wana talk about summer league
i seriously gave in my all for the Punggol competition
that i completely cannot bring myself to run
even though i really want to
i really swear i was trying to do my best n run like siao
but my run like siao turn out to be jogging -.-"
argh fuck.
i dont even wana think abt how i played....
extremely disgusting
and thats just the 1st game..
the 2nd game against shiok,
i only played 1point through out the whole game i swear,
im gona keep my DK jerseys
and not wear them at all wearing it is like insulting DK
sigh...
Ralene, Ralene, Ralene...
where the fuck did the passion n energy for frisbee go to?
i just duno what to say luh seriously.
the way i played today. its like...fucked.

i mean i cant say tat cause i played the punggol competition n all den i cant run
its totally bullshit
cause almost everyone did play in the punggol competition but
can still play well in summer league.
fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck
someone just throw me down the building now =(

RALENE FOK RUILING,
YOU ARE FUCKING HOPELESS
=(

oh wells.
i tried to not be hopeless,seriously i tried like bloody hard...
but it seems like im still hopeless
but im happy tat mondster still shouts at me.
at least i know he still had hope for me..
but aft today i duno if he still have any for me.

anws, when i just alighted the bus
den i saw this couple sitting at the bus-stop
den the guy was shouting at the girl n pushing her..
n she was crying like damn jia liat
cant she just walk away..dumb
if i was her, i'll fucking screw the guy luh esp if he is my bf
anyhow push me.
i'll slap him n push him on the road for him to get knocked down X)
yea rightt...ahah
i'll just shout back n walk away
if he follows, i'll say i'll call police for harassment.
seriously luh tat guy is such as $%$#^@^&
like even untill i cross the road n was look at them before i walk to my hse road lane..
i saw the guy like still pushing her den the girl finally decided to stand up n push him
so she can walk away..didnt watch what happened later
cause got this guy..
he said:"may peace be with you"
me said:"oh thanks"
he said:" want go makan?"
me said:"erm no thanks"
den he followed me when im like walking back home
den he said:" erm sry for not being friendly, im been staying here for so long n didnt know u stay here.im like your neighbour ard here"
me said:"erm nvm.its okay"
he said:" i think i stay here for about 3 years alrdy den nv see you"
me said:" i think i stay long den you, like all my life"
he said:"erm yea,sry for not being friendly, but yea im Barborol(i seriously duno how to spell his name its like BA-BO-LO..sounds like a cig brand lol)
me said:"erm hi?"
he said:"erm yea if you got any trouble you can come fine me, call me"
den he starts taking out his hp den showed me his number
he said:" there im Barborol Paul, this is my number, 62313....."
me said:"erm, i dont think i'll have any troubles.thanks"
he said:" oh okay but if you do, you can call me, 62313...."
me said:" erm, okay"
he said:"erm yea, i go makan alrdy.bye"
me said:"er okay bye"

seriously luh
wth is happening
2times alrdy luh n its like 2weeks in a row! -.-"
but i duno if he is like those christian helpers or what
but i swear its scary
esp when he is like following me, like talking to me n walking with me at the same time!?!?
zzzz...fuck
lucky i wasnt feeling so moody tat time cause i was msging mike
abt some stupid stuff tat keeps making me laugh.
but seriously,
i think if i wasnt msging mike and if he didnt said " may peace be with you"
i wld be like "WHATTTTTTT"
lol..kinda rude but yea

freakning tired
and i think im gona sleep now.
9.20pm ahaha
damn it got to study tml.
i totally forget abt studying until i saw kids studying at kfc just now.
fagggggg

2009-06-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

freaking good dancer

2009-06-23T21:18:00.002+08:00

You are classy, not afraid to go against the norm, and love to celebrate the joys of life. You love to be in the "right now" of society's latest "new thing" and because of that you exert the latest fashions and put a high priority on having a great time. After all, you deserve it after all the struggles you have gone through in life thus far. You have a little rebel in you, although you don't overtly show it because you keep yourself and your standards classy, sophisticated, and elegant. And chances are, you have a thing for jazz music. You are a perfect combination of lady-like and party animal.

i swear this quiz scared me for awhile.
if only people can read me like how it did.LOL
oh wells, back to microA
come to think of it.
i havent touched on phychem and maths yet!!
omg =(

you know,
i still cant get you off my mind.

2009-06-23T17:46:00.002+08:00

went out to study with mike ytd
at bishan library
nic was suppose to come too luh!
but he had project work to do.oh wells.

i was quite happy n proud with myself
completed 5chpts of microA
from 1plus till 6pm
even though my head was gona brust at tat time.
information overload.LOL
but its okay.i managed to revise thru everything AGAIN

the only reason why i stopped studying at 5chpts is not cause i couldnt take it anymore
but its bcause..
chris came after his work
den he said there was a extension of 1 week holiday
you have no idea how freakning happy i was.ahaha
cause
firstly, i totally dont feel like going to schoool
secondly, the distance to school turns me off
thirdly, im totally not prepared for the common tests.
sigh.NYP, why are you sooo far far awayyyy
anw yea.
aft he said tat i totally was in the mood to play n go shopping
hehe X)

went for dinner at LJS
nic came to join us after tat
the 3 of us was playing with his new iphone.LOL
i swear the only reason i wld get an iphone
is because of the games.
some of them are freakning fun =)

aft dinner they accompanied me to go shopping
seriously, i wanted to get a casual dress
tat i can wear to school
cause im quite tired of shorts/jeans alrdy
zzz every time have to think of whether the top is matching or not.lol
oh wells.
didnt get any in the end cause
i either find it alittle to formal, cause its something i wont wear to school
or either its above my budget.
cause not like i overspent for the last few weeks rite -.- roars
sometimes i just wish im freakning rich.
went back home, searched for the news of the 1week extension thingy
and freakning flower-pot
they cancelled it =(
stupid government.go to hell. =x opps lol.
sigh. anws, L4D with them and kenneth n vyn
and seriously, i think theres something wrong with my com
duno why it lagged ytd
even though the thingy shows its okay..
roars.

so what did i do today!?
i was actually gona continue studying on microA
until i decided to blog 1st.LOL
and before that i watched troy the movie
i swear the lead actors in the movie are freakning hot!
esp archies(duno how to spell.LOL)
his eyes are super super attractive.
oh and i seriously think
that guys who look good in ancient clothing
are hotter den guys who look good in modern clothing
and..i think cause
those olden day clothing show more of the guy's body build.
i duno ahhaa.just a preference i guess
sigh i totally cant concentrate studying at home.
the kids running outside, making soo much noise..
my cat disturbing me every now and den.
this laptop... -.-"
is a MAJOR distraction to me.
i think i'll just fall asleep on the study table in like 30min when i start studying LOL
freakning hell.

tired and exhausted.
with a splitting headache

2009-06-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

spend my whole day trying to study
i can say i covered the all the topics in inorg
but
i dont understand a single shit.
flower-pot luh.
so frustrating
all the 5subjects in my course
n i dont understand any of it
i dont know stuff off my fingertips n its pissting me off
seriously
i look at myself and i feel extremely pathetic
almost everyone in the class have a subject that they can excel in
even the most ***** is also good in a subject
but wtheck look at me
i cant do microA, i cant do math..
neither can i do phychem or inorg
inmolb is not tested so its not counted...
even if it is i still cant do it anyway.
flower-pot
i've never felt like such a terrible terrible failure in my life before
apart from my Os and my lousy performance during frisbee trainings
sigh.flower-pot.

im totally gona break my promise

anw,
im just happy to know that i have friends who care
even though we are in different schools
and we hardly talk
and we're not that tight compared to the rest of my friends
but u're like still concern abt whats going on in my life n stuff
thanks yous many many much much ^^
you know im refering to you rite!haha

2009-06-21T13:19:00.002+08:00

went to meet jireh n his friends at the monorail to sentosa
at 2pm.
lousy yanhan was late!for almost abt an hour!ahah
oh wells.
and i got cheated!argh
stupid food republic there write 4pieces of tutu cake is suppose to be 2bucks
but i ordered 4plain den he charge me $2.40 like wth
no ingredients lei!
hmmph went to siloso
saw aaron,jireh tay,aaron goh,wei song,joseph they all
wee so happy =) its been ages since i saw them! =)
so yea after playing abit of vball with my friends
i went to join aaron they all for frisbee for awhile until they left -.-
which was super earlyy!roars
den i saw robin!ahah from nyp ultimate
he was playing frisbee too!
with his sec school friends ahah
so yea i kept rotating between vball n frisbee hehe
i swear robin's friends are quite good!
fast,with decent throws n have a constant one hand catch ahaha
some of them are quite hot too X) opps haha
its the beach nth wrong to eyecandy alittle here and there right!ahaha
not like im attached now or anything lol!
ohoh ytd the beach got alot of hot babes..
well more den usual.
feel super inferior to them man.ahaha
time to lose weight damn it! X)
oh yea!
there was like a pretty darn ridiculous incident that happen during the frisbee game with robin n his friends
its like there was this group of wanabe ahbengs sitting some where near
2guys came over den confronted one of robin's friend
saying:
he " eh you, why you stare at my friend just now? "
frien " i never stare. "
he " say sorry now "
frien " ah okok sorry sorry "
(something like that but it was quite funny.i was laughing)
den they both walk off
i mean wth cant you see we're playing frisbee like we got time to stare at u uglys!
plus they totally have had to stop our game for that pathetic issue -.-
haha and its not like the person who got " stared" at came over to confront
it was his friend who accompanied him n asked.
zzz..totally no balls.stupid wanabe ah bengs
sit under the tree smoke smoke smoke.
obviously will draw attention when theres like a big group of you smoking under the tree
and not doing anything else
cause i totally didnt see them play soccer,frisbee,vball when i was there the whole time.
i just saw them sit there -.-" with no shirt on
zzz no abs also.den like wana act cool n muscular.sick sia
oh wells.disgusting.

i seriously wonder what if a girl stares at them
i wonder what they'll do.
will they approach the girl the same way as they did to robin's friend?
or like just ignore?haha i duno luh
well i did try to stare at them
but i failed.ahaha
cant blame me they are so not attractive,
if i had stared at them alittle longer to make it obvious,
my eyes will rot X)
or maybe right when he approached robin's friend,
he should just reply " cause i think you're hot "
i seriously wonder what his reaction will be!haha
i mean hellooo the world is changing
there are like many les n gays ard now.ahaha
it'll be darn funny.haha
crap if im a guy, i totally dont mind trying it on the wanabes ahah!

erm after sentosa,
went to palawan with jireh's female friends to go bathe
cause siloso is freaking packed with ppl..
esp with the event, lifes a beach
so yup.
after which we all met at carl's jr den we went back home.
tired.

got to start studying now.
boring!!

2009-06-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

thanks nickoo!
for listening to all my whining n rubbish =/
i think if you didnt lend me ur listening ear i wld hv killed myself mentally alrdy ahaha X)
no such thing i know but yea..
you knowwww...haha..
if i rmb correctly, this is the 2nd time that you lend me ur ears?
haha so yea THANKS ALOT FRIEND! =D
i dont think i'll know what to do if you werent here for me
sorry for spreading me emo-ness to you also! X) YIKES!
haha.
i'll listen to you too the next time if you got anything k!
and yes
we'll meet up soon.
david, weekian,kenneth we'll all go out tgt soon k!hangout =)
and david i know u read my blog so ahha, make time k! X)

oh yea,
thanks greg!
haha even though i think you dont really understand what i was saying
but thanks for like just listening luh ya? =)

somehow i guess things happen for a reason.
and maybe its better if i just follow the flow and leave it
its the last time for me,
cause i dont think i can handle it anymore.

2009-06-19T22:35:00.003+08:00

oyster buffet, is love.
nth can be compared to this fantastic dinner! =)

i did study alittle today and im happy with it.
cause at least i stayed at home
and tried(emphasize on the tried) very hard to study
sigh.
i duno why i cant concentrate and memorize what i was goin thru
roars.lousy me =(
and i swear im sick again.
sucks to have a weak body..

sentosa tml.
finally well at least i get to go out.ahaha
if not it'll be a week since i went out to have fun..
im starting to miss the frisbee clique
and all the retarded times..

hmmm...
sometimes,
i think life is better off if i dont exist.
or rather, whether i exist or not it doesnt really make a difference.
argh, roars.
=( got to stop emo-ing
and this is what happens when im bored and alone at home =/

2009-06-18T22:09:00.002+08:00

i swear something scary happened when i was waiting for bus to school
its like there was this guy who look like 20yearold ++
approached me n offered me a lift to school.

he: "erm, hi, are you waiting for taxi or bus? "
(and i thought he was a taxi driver -.- he looked like one anw..)
me: "erm bus..."
he: " oh where are you headed to?"
me: " erm..school.."
he: " oh i can give you a lift, singapore poly? "
me: " erm no NYP, erm no need.thanks.i'll wait for bus"
he: " what bus are you waiting for?"
me: " erm bus 10"
he: " erm bus 10 doesnt go to yck what.i can give you a lift there."
me: " erm no need.thanks"
he: " nvm luh its okay, i work as a service engineer my workplace is ard yck "
me: " erm,thanks but its okay.i rather wait for bus"
he: " its okay luh, i'll give you a lift den i'll go to work"
me: " erm no need,i really prefer waiting for bus,thanks"
he: " why?its just a ride"
me: " erm cause its not right?i duno you and stuff?"
he: " we can be friends now.just hitch a ride luh"
me: " erm..erm..nvm luh.thanks anw"

(yes, i kinda rmb-ed the whole conver cause it was freaking scary)
i swear, he is freaking persistant.
scary =(
and its like i know after he gave up tryin to convince me
he was still watching me from somewhere
cause when i boarded bus 10,
i saw him walk to his car.
omg wth scary.
i bet if i just tell him that im still 16, he'll just walk away or something
haha.i think i shld hv just done that to shut him up.

so yea anw, done with the phychem projectwork.
yays =)
aft tat went to eat pepper lunch AGAIN with
ky,ginette and michelle.
went back to school
we tried to study
but we end up talking rubbish again.ahah X)
girls, what to do..
left school at 7.50pm
went to HDB hub.
couldnt find the dress that i saw last week =(
oh wells.
took 143 back.

i swear its either im really attractive today
(which obviously is not the case cause im just wear tank top n shorts)
or the world is with retarded ppl
sat on the upper deck of the bus
den theres like this 2guys
like keep teasing me luh
when im like freaking trying to sleep
keep shouting " eh girl"
and all those.
irritating jerks.
cant you see im not interested in wdv you are tryin to play at and i want to sleep
stupid.

and yea, i went back home alone
even though i am still quite scare abt what happen in the morning
ahhh~
at times like this i wished i had someone to protect me.
but oh wells, looks like i can handle it myself anw =)
im a independent and brave girl okay!!!ahah X)
i totally cant imagine if i always have to depend on someone
totally no life..

oh wells.
tired.
oyster buffet tml.
awesome =)

i dont get it.
why cant guys multi-task?
like seriously

2009-06-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

i never did like that bunch of bastards.
=/

2009-06-17T20:20:00.003+08:00

went for dental in the morning.
stupid dental,
make me miss out the chance to meet him today =(

he told me that we're to take things slow.
i totally dont mind,
its just that im scare..
instead of taking things slow
it'll fade.it'll just disappear..
after past relationships, im honestly quite of breakups n all those rubbish
but i guess, maybe taking things slow
such stuff wont happen as much?
i dunoo
will you have time for me if we get tgt?

after dental, went out with my parents for awhile
if not they'll complain that i've not been spending time with them

came back home and fell asleep
zzz..i think im sick
got the sickly feeling
sigh.

project work tml!
sians
what the flower-pot luh!
totally hate project works =(
a complete waste of time.
its not like we dont know our stuff.

(FYI, its week 9 alrdy T.T)
COMMON TEST DATES:
Week 11
MicroA - 29 june
Phychem - 30 june
Inorgchem - 1 july
Math - 2 july
Week 12
Food culture - 10 july

DEADLINES:
Week 14 - CS Report
- Food culture presentation
Week 15 - MicroA website
- Food culture presentation
Week 16 - Food culture poster presentation
Week 17 - Phychem video project

looks like my only break i have is week 13
stupid flower-pot luh =(
i hate elective.
its like not even a core module!argh.
sucks man..

2009-06-16T13:59:00.003+08:00

i got rashes! ROARS
haha oh wells..
seriously no more alcohol for me..

plans for today,
study and more study
hopefully i can at least go through all the microA topics today
im gona freaking score all in my test
wtf man i talking abt!?
haha i totally have to, if not its no more frisbee and NYP for me and hello shaltec

im super tired now.
it must either be the medicine or its because i slpt at 4am last night
oh wells.

i will stop smoking for you.
i wont take a single puff =)
promise.
i will stop the vulgarities for you
well, at least i'll try my best =)
promise ^^

back to mugging now
like NOWWW =(

2009-06-15T12:25:00.002+08:00

the party was okay.
programme was fun,
nice planning xiao lun! =)
the only thing that was boring was after the programme
cause there wasnt any dancing!
couldnt sleep either cause i drank alcohol
and i was having a major headache =( suckss
i think at most i slpt for 2hours?
but yea played finger guessing game
forfeit is that you either drink or kiss
so yup.
it was quite funny in the beginning but it got boring aft awhile

when it was 7am on sunday,
everybody left
only leaving the league people ard
so we went to sk field in ben's lorry
was freakinggg tired =((
but okay luh i felt that i had slightly more energy compared to the rest of the times i played..
played against Young Knights(YK) at 10am -.-"
and we won the gamee! yay
had lunch den played against DK orange at 2pm
and we won the game too! =)
had another match immediately after that
played against chuckies
we won them but we played quite badly =(
oh wells
i duno if its because we're complacent or if its a habit
but we tend to play to the level that the opp team plays
cause when we played against fs, we played quite okay better den the rest of our games
but when we played against chuckies its like totally wtf
or maybe its because we are all damn tired.
i duno luh
but im trying to get out of it
i wana perform my best at every game.

and roars,
why the hell did the school give us so much work and project work to do =(
and its only freaking 2weeks!wth
plus we all got common test after the break!argh
obviously the school is out to torture science students -.-"
i shld hv freaking went to business and like just ignore wdv my parents say
cause i totally dont feel like studying anymore.roarsss
oh wells =/
gtg back to my report T.T
anyone kind enough to help me with all this rubbish? =/

2009-06-11T13:03:00.007+08:00

math test was totally wth
i can only score 20marks out of 100marks man. =(
sigh.oh wells.
screwed-eddd =/
im in school now.
trying to rush my assignments n stuffs
by today
with ginette,michelle n ky
cause im going back to fmss tml den im going out
and sat and sunday
got frisbee =x
sigh.HELP!
ive done microA report and e-learning inorg
still got phychem report which i hv no idea how to do
e-learning phychem,
inorg tutorial,
phychem tutorial..
and whatelse..i cant rmb =/

poly made me a cool nerd X)

2009-06-11T13:03:00.002+08:00

i feel so bad for letting my friends ard me to handle my bad temper.
im sorry.

oh yea,
happy birthday gladys ^^
sorry couldnt celebrate ur birthday with the rest.

roars.
i duno wtf is wrong with me
super short-tempered
sigh,
im like changing back to my old self.
fruck.
will all the vulgarities and hot-temperedness
(okay i know theres no such word but yea)

cut down on vulgarities
cut down on vulgarities
cut down on vulgarities!

test tml.
damn.
i dun even know what to study for i mean...
i dont understand!the notes is like totally not helpful at all!
nehneh luh.

oh wells.
tired and i wana sleep now.
lesson at 3pm later =(
was about to start complaining abt how unfair my timetable is compared to the rest
but i guess i shall just stop here.

and oh yea.
i think i'm starting...
starting to hate guys.
(sry no offense, just saying..)
a sign of turning les?LOL

2009-06-10T22:16:00.002+08:00

friends and family is the only reason why im still alive
cause i dont wana see them being sad
esp my parents i can just imagine how heart broken they'll be
if they knew that their youngest child committed suicide
they are the only reasons that holds me back..

i totally have to cry in front of so many people
how stupid am i.fruck man
freaking embarrassing.
but i really couldnt control it..
the stress and all.
esp when its a "conflict" between a friend who i treasure
argh fruck.
seriously, okay i suck at these kind of stuff
but its not like i can do anything when i cant stop crying
cause i totally hate it
i hate " arguing" with someone who i treasure
esp frisbee friends.
i really cant take it.
call me weak or wdv.i dont care.
i treasure my friends and i totally cannot control my reactions
whenever such stuff happens.
argh wdv.
its over and i totally feel like sleeping now
cause all i know im just really really sad.

BUT!
on the bright side!
my team, consisting of..
janice,janet,val and myself
came in 1st for the campus road run! =)
1st place baby!! =)
and bloody neh i shld hv ran for individual den i can get 4th or 5th place.
ROARS!
oh wells.i really wana know my timing for my run
so if any kind soul would tell me please? =/

gona start a studying spree

2009-06-07T22:38:00.002+08:00

did work in the morning
rushed down to SK field for summer league
played for the 2nd half only
no comments on how i played today
i cant really be bothered alrdy
cause all i know is i tried to contribute all that i can in todays game
cause today is not a throwing day, neither isit a catching day.
so all i can contribute was during defence.
but its not like i did extremely well for defence n got any Ds
but yea.
i did my best for today.thats all i can say.

went for dinner at subway
loves the italian B.M.T wrap =)
i think i'll always order that the next time i go subwayyy
subway!subway!

argh the stupid cream tat lb gave me is burning my leg!
i mean from the time i applied it on the field n to now aft i bathed!
hot!hot!!hot!!!

oh wells
i duno what to do tml!! =S
cause tml i got 2hours of lesson in the morning
9am-11am
and..my 1st option is,
to stay in school and study(bringing bag and laptop -.-" )
2nd option is,
go chris hse and slack(bringing file n laptop only)
3rd option is,
go home and duno do what(bringing file only)

oh yes, i have math test on wed.so yea..
roarss
and the wound on my leg
is gona leave a fucking ugly scar =(
screw the abrasion!!!

2009-06-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

im suppose to blog alot of stuff today.
but im feeling tired and got lots of stuff to do!
so i shall just keep the interesting stuff

i cope this from a magazine.
dnot sure if its true, but i was laughing like mad when i read this..

S'PORE MEN LOUSY SPERM?HOW, LIKE DAT?
Local guys have been criticised on many thins, but now, they have an official reason to feel lousy. SGH's Dr Yu Shu Ling says that the sperm quality of Singapore men lags far behind international standards. The problem, she says, is the head of the little swimmers. Apparently, guys, your sperm should have a pointy head, not the rounded ones many of you have. It's time to switch to boxers, you guys.
(word for word.i swear)

haha.omg luh can.
my next bf had better like wearing boxers.LOL!
but honestly, i think guys in boxers are hotter den guys in underwear.
but obviously not when guys wear their boxers like as though its another pair of shorts..
for those i just find them ridiculous.

oh yea,
im trying very hard to change what i am now
recently im bloody short-tempered and moody
freaking fed-up with myself
oh wells,
at least im trying to let go of stuff i cant really control
and appreciate what i have ard me.
emphasize on trying.

2009-06-03T23:18:00.003+08:00

didnt go for training today
cause i felt really uneasy today.
very very uncomfortable
and looking back,
every time i feel this why, i shouldnt play frisbee
otherwise i'll end up getting injured again -.-
(and yes i've been telling ppl different reasons to why i didnt play frisbee.cause i didnt wana explain)

so yea anw
studied in the library with
chel,ginette and kaiyun
in the end, we end up talking all the sick nonsense
freaking funny
can say today was one of those days
whereby i can laughed till my face hurts...
in other words i really enjoyed that girls session..
cause its been so so long since i laughed like mad.

went to the stadium when they all left
waited for joel,threw disc den went back.

when i ask joel whats his 1st impression of me,
he said that i always dont smile,
very dao and like got the " talk to me,i'll beat you up " kind of look
and because of tat some ppl dont like me in frisbee =(
oh wells.
i kinda got the feeling when i saw some ppl.
but its not like i can do anything if i look like tat.
lol. i mean.
i seriously duno how to give ppl the impression that im not dao
and i dont wana beat them.
i cant be 24hours smiling like a idiot rite.
lol.oh wells.

8am tml. =(
unfair how people got lesson at 1 and end at 5
roars.oh wells.

oh yes,
i really cant wait for the junior's party =)
excited! =)

2009-06-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

saw this paint brush on my table.
touching the brush tip brings back memories
back when i was staying back in school everyday to do art.
when i knew everything, i knew what i wanted.
i had friends that was always there with me during retarded times
even though im always alone doing art.

i miss doing art.
very badly.
i miss mdm lim
i miss painting and drawing
i miss all my friends in sec school
and my cca
back than, life was tiring but awesome.
at least i had a purpose.

now i really feel helpless
i dont know what to do.
my course is retardedly difficult
and whats worse is that i cant bring myself to study everyday
i mean.to study EVERY SINGLE DAY!?
i just cannot adapt to it.
whatever happen to poly is slack.

i mean i just need to find my goal.
cause currently now
i really dont find any purpose in life.
i would definitely continue smoking
if werent for frisbee.
i would just quit poly
but once i quit, i know i'll regret it
theres no motivation in my life
no motivation to live
no motivation to study
no motivation to strive for the best.
fruck.
and since when i adapt this mindset?
im thinking its when i freaking score lousily for my bloody Os
when i studied like fruck
and when i try so hard for frisbee
but im not improving at all.
i'll just admit that im not cut out for life being so tough.

honestly, i feel disgusted with myself
i mean its totally not me to think that way
like a total loser
but i cant change back

i swear its frucking difficult to pretend that everything is alright when its not
its really damn frucking difficult
but i know, i just need to cross this hurdle and everything will be fine
then again, when?
seriously, when?

everytime i hear the song on my blog now.
i'll feel like shit
but i love the song.

note here,
im not being desperate -.-
i just miss the feeling of loving someone and being loved.
i guess ugly n uselsss girls like me
dont get much chances with what they want.
oh but wait even girls that dont look better den me always get what they want.
i guess....
its just me then..

where did my confidence go to?
come back to me please. =(
im dying, suffering w/o you.

2009-05-30T20:45:00.000+08:00

Soulmate lyrics

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone